Ungrateful?

[MoonLit Meadow]

Totally random, but here goes...

My next door neighbor had been trying to have a baby unsuccesfully for a few years. She even had a couple of miscarraiges, and had become very depressed because of her inability to conceive.

Last year we were talking, and I felt so bad for her. She started crying, and said something to the effect of "Do you think I'll EVER get pregnant?" It was just awful to see her go thru that.

So fast forward to the present....she finally got pregnant and just had a baby about 3 weeks ago. Anyway, I happen to be out in the backyard today and she was sitting outside as well. She called me over to see the baby, and we started talking....

So she says to me..."I would NEVER do it again" and starts complaining about how long and difficult the labor was. Then she tells me that she's trying to find a nanny b/c she wants to go back to school in the fall and won't have anyone to watch the baby...she just seemed really kind of annoyed with her new found motherhood.

I guess my point here is that...her comment just really kind of annoyed me. She wanted to have a baby so badly, and couldn't for so long...and now that she's been able to have one, she acts like it was such a bad experience for her...and now she's just dying to find somebody who will watch it while she goes off to school ;)

Like...WTF? I guess I just expected her to be over-joyed with the fact that she was finally able to have a baby...but now that she has one, she's less than thrilled.

Sorry this is so long...just ranting. :p
Any thoughts on this matter would be nice though:D

[evil_blonde]

People are the most ungrateful sods ever. It's awful. =(

[Deposable]

This is what I believe:

Some girls have babies because they feel like they have no purpose in life. A child gives us a reason for living. Its sad, I have seen so many girls have children and they treat their kid like a doll.

Then the child grows up with the same worthless feeling. And it just goes around in circles. No use too the world. but with a baby, you don't care about that. I love the human race :D :(

[Haunted]

I had a miscarriage four years ago, and all I wanted for two years was a baby to replace that hole the miscarraige left. However, when the trauma wore off, I've actually found that I may not want children. I definitely want dogs, though. Now that I have two dogs (Sophie and Sadie May), I found that I love them.

Your neighbor sounds like she went through what I did, and then found refilling that hole with another baby was not actually what she wanted to do. Unfortunately, she's got a committment and a life to take care of. She can't be bouncing in and out of her child's life. She'll regret it, and the child will resent it.

[MisterSadistro]

Is this the BHT baby you were going to see the other day ?
Be careful what you wish for.
CK

[Marroe]

What's that called...postpartum depression? It's normal.

[MoonLit Meadow]

Originally posted by MisterSadistro
Is this the BHT baby you were going to see the other day ?
Be careful what you wish for.
CK


NOOOOOO ;) Different baby. I told you EVERYONE around me is having babies. Friggin' twilight zone maaaaaan.:p

[MoonLit Meadow]

Originally posted by Deposable
This is what I believe:

Some girls have babies because they feel like they have no purpose in life. A child gives us a reason for living. Its sad, I have seen so many girls have children and they treat their kid like a doll.

Then the child grows up with the same worthless feeling. And it just goes around in circles. No use too the world. but with a baby, you don't care about that. I love the human race :D :(

I agree with you. I think that happens alot...it's very sad.

I just didn't expect her to act like that...she's in her late 30's...married....she seems pretty stable and together...Marroe and Haunted made some good points...she could've just been trying to replace what she lost w/o really thinking it through first...or she could be going through post-partum depression.

I guess it's not my place to judge...just caught me off guard.

[MisterSadistro]

NOOOOOO Different baby. I told you EVERYONE around me is having babies. Friggin' twilight zone maaaaaan.
Sounds like 'Village of the Damned'. I'd move if I was you (which I'm not since I'm supposedly a Rob Zombie wannabe, not a Moonlit Meadow wannabe LOL).
CK

[MoonLit Meadow]

Originally posted by MisterSadistro
Sounds like 'Village of the Damned'. I'd move if I was you (which I'm not since I'm supposedly a Rob Zombie wannabe, not a Moonlit Meadow wannabe LOL).
CK


LMAO. I KNOW! It's like something's in the water. SPOOOOKY :p

[sandy_x]

After i had my first child i despratley wanted another and after 3 years i found out i was pregnant i was over the moon but lost the baby after 3 mnths i was a mess they put me in a hospital ward full of young wimen getting termanatoins . but joy a few mnths later i was pregnant again wen my daughter was born i was on cloud nine ide lie on the sofa for hours with her just watching her sleep i think your friend may have depression, as my friend realy wanted a baby and had one around the same time as me and then she went all weired keeping her curtains closed all day and night giving the baby to anyone to look after she had post natal depression, even if she is acting ungratfull just listen to her she may need help or she may just be an ungratfull cow you'l soon fing out. sorry for going on and on lol.x


p.s soz i cant spell.

[MoonLit Meadow]

Originally posted by sandy_x
After i had my first child i despratley wanted another and after 3 years i found out i was pregnant i was over the moon but lost the baby after 3 mnths i was a mess they put me in a hospital ward full of young wimen getting termanatoins . but joy a few mnths later i was pregnant again wen my daughter was born i was on cloud nine ide lie on the sofa for hours with her just watching her sleep i think your friend may have depression, as my friend realy wanted a baby and had one around the same time as me and then she went all weired keeping her curtains closed all day and night giving the baby to anyone to look after she had post natal depression, even if she is acting ungratfull just listen to her she may need help or she may just be an ungratfull cow you'l soon fing out. sorry for going on and on lol.x


p.s soz i cant spell.


Thanks for the advice...I'm starting to think it really might be depression or something...but of course this was the first conversation I'd had with her since she had the baby...I guess time will tell. She could've been in a bad mood....I guess there are a number of factors which could have contributed to her coming across so cold...
I plan on being there for her...unless, like you said....she really does turn out to be an ungrateful cow ;)

[newb]

Originally posted by MoonLit Meadow
Thanks for the advice...I'm starting to think it really might be depression or something...but of course this was the first conversation I'd had with her since she had the baby...I guess time will tell. She could've been in a bad mood....


She needs a nice refreshing frosty banana drink.

http://www.mixanddrink.com/img/drinks/banana_ivanov.jpg

[jenna26]

I try really hard not to judge, because there really could be a reason for her behavior, and it might not be what it seems. But on the other hand, I know this woman that miscarried several times before she was able to finally carry to term. But in her case, the first few months she was estatic, almost obsessed with motherhood. But after about a year she lost interest in the baby and wanted desperately to get pregnant again. And did. It was bizzare. She seemed to enjoy being pregnant. She enjoyed the first few months of motherhood. But then after that, she pretty gave the kid to her mother to take care of.

Now could someone explain that one to me? :eek:

[MisterSadistro]

It was bizzare. She seemed to enjoy being pregnant. She enjoyed the first few months of motherhood. But then after that, she pretty gave the kid to her mother to take care of.

Now could someone explain that one to me?

http://www.iseesockmonkeys.com/omen.jpg
CK

[Splotch]

So she tried and tried, dealt with her body's bloody rejections until she finally got what she dreamed about. Then her body expands, she gets sick, distends, gains weight, gets bedridden, expands some more, gets sore feet, gets a sore back, breaks her water, (from what I witnessed at the birth of my first kid) a whole lot of pain from contractions until eight pounds of thrashing flesh comes tearing out from where only her man was allowed before, I'd say that might sour the lovely sweet ideal she had in her mind of what it was going to be like.

I don't think she's ungrateful, just...human.

[MoonLit Meadow]

Originally posted by Splotch
So she tried and tried, dealt with her body's bloody rejections until she finally got what she dreamed about. Then her body expands, she gets sick, distends, gains weight, gets bedridden, expands some more, gets sore feet, gets a sore back, breaks her water, (from what I witnessed at the birth of my first kid) a whole lot of pain from contractions until eight pounds of thrashing flesh comes tearing out from where only her man was allowed before, I'd say that might sour the lovely sweet ideal she had in her mind of what it was going to be like.

I don't think she's ungrateful, just...human.

Umm....seems to me that you somewhat know what you're getting yourself into when you get pregnant.

I've had a few friends have babies recently, and while they had some of the symptoms that you mentioned, they were so grateful to be having a baby that none of that mattered.
I'm just saying that for somebody who wanted a baby so badly, she now seems to care less. For what ever reason, I didn't expect her to feel that way. That's all.

[Zero]

My mom was pretty depressed - but you can see why.

My baby picture:

[meetthecreeper]

My lady went thru post partum depression. It was a fukin nightmare from which there was no escape.

It took everything that I had not to walk out of the relationship.

Thank the Gods for a strong constitution.

I feel like after over a year of that shit our relationship has changed, I know she has.

I love my son and daughter more than anything in the world but to do it all over again. I would have to think long and hard about that.

There is much I could say about how people feel after they have children, all I can say is in short it isnt what you think its going to be.