The truth shall set you free ;) [Archive] - Horror.com Forums

MoonLit Meadow

07-28-2005, 10:16 PM

Alright...
This is sooooo crazy, but I'm going to rant about it anyway. If it offends/bothers any of you...I apologize...however...it's 2 AM, so here goes.

Why do girls pretend that they don't fart/$h%t/stink etc? ;)

I was talking to a friend of mine today, and don't even ASK how we got on the subject...but anyway ;)

She was telling me that she's never farted in front of her boyfriend, and that she'll leave his house if she has to take a Sh%t before she'd ever do it at his house...she doesn't want him to KNOW that she does any of these things! They've been together for 3 years, and this just boggles my mind.

I was like...WTF?? I asked her why she cares so much....and she's like "OMG, I would NEVER let him know I do that!!" and I was like..."DON'T YOU THINK HE KNOWS??? It's no SECRET" And she's like "Well, a lady has to have some mystery about her"....;)

This is so ridiculous to me. I can't imagine hiding that stuff...if somebody's going to be grossed out by a girl b/c she farts then that's really their problem. ;) I can understand maybe not doing those types of things in the beginning of a relationship...b/c everyone is on their best behavior...but after 3 years???

Anyone have any thoughts on this? If not, I'll understand ;)

Deposable

07-28-2005, 10:19 PM

This might sound really weird... but I love girls that fart... no, not all. But farting is always instant comedy.

MoonLit Meadow

07-28-2005, 10:21 PM

Originally posted by Deposable
This might sound really weird... but I love girls that fart... no, not all. But farting is always instant comedy.

LMAO. Yeah exactly. If two people love each other, they're not going to care if one of them farts. That's such a stupid thought for her to have.

But yeah...it's just hilarious...maybe if she lightened up and just let one slip it would bring them closer...and get a good laugh ;):p

MisterSadistro

07-28-2005, 10:22 PM

Perhaps she wants her boyfriend to think she's pure for anal sex on their wedding night.
CK

FangoFan

07-28-2005, 10:22 PM

That is strange behavior especially since they have had 3 years to get comfortable with one another.

What would she be afraid of?

Maybe it's some weird fear?

Is there any phobia of farting?

MoonLit Meadow

07-28-2005, 10:24 PM

Originally posted by FangoFan
That is strange behavior especially since they have had 3 years to get comfortable with one another.

What would she be afraid of?

Maybe it's some weird fear?

Yeah, I have NO idea...he seems like a pretty easy going guy to me...has a good sense of humor and all...I highly doubt he'd care. I guess she just has her own hang-ups. It's just not a secret that people fart,etc.

It kills me that she thinks she's "fooling" him ;)

MoonLit Meadow

07-28-2005, 10:25 PM

Originally posted by MisterSadistro
Perhaps she wants her boyfriend to think she's pure for anal sex on their wedding night.
CK

Do you really believe that a girl who won't fart in front of her BF is going to have anal sex? ;):p

MisterSadistro

07-28-2005, 10:26 PM

Maybe she doesn't want to ruin the illusion for him like this girl did:
http://www.goodlaughter.com/funny/fun/fart.jpg
:D
CK

Gren the cake

07-28-2005, 10:27 PM

my bf and i will fight to go to the bathroom. one time he pooed on my leg and tried to hide his dirty boxers under the sink

i dont fart simply cuz i cant control it that well. my cousin can fart, nothing ever big, but im even scared to fart a tiny one on the chance i may follow through

:(

MoonLit Meadow

07-28-2005, 10:27 PM

Originally posted by MisterSadistro
Maybe she doesn't want to ruin the illusion for him like this girl did:
http://www.goodlaughter.com/funny/fun/fart.jpg
:D
CK

OMG!!!!!! LMAO!:p

Gren the cake

07-28-2005, 10:28 PM

ooh ooh how about girls that dont even want they bf to see them without make up?

i had an ex bf with a friend that said she'd wake up early before her bf got up so she could put on make up

there are people like that, maybe not to that extent, but to the extent where they wont even step outside without make up.

MisterSadistro

07-28-2005, 10:30 PM

Two words for your friend's boyfriend to cure her of her phobia -
DUTCH OVEN
CK

MoonLit Meadow

07-28-2005, 10:31 PM

Originally posted by Gren the cake
ooh ooh how about girls that dont even want they bf to see them without make up?

i had an ex bf with a friend that said she'd wake up early before her bf got up so she could put on make up

there are people like that, maybe not to that extent, but to the extent where they wont even step outside without make up.

Drives me crazy too. I've known girls who will sleep in their makeup so their husbands don't see them w/o it. There's just something wrong with that, in my opinion...I'm just so opposite of that...it's like take me as I am, or don't take me at all. I'm not going to create an illusion.

There's nothing wrong with putting on make-up and wanting to look nice...but everyone knows you weren't born with make-up on your face...so why try and pretend? BAAAAAAH. Some girls really drive me crazy. It's just so phony.

Deposable

07-28-2005, 10:31 PM

Originally posted by Gren the cake
my bf and i will fight to go to the bathroom. one time he pooed on my leg and tried to hide his dirty boxers under the sink

He pooed on your leg....

Gren the cake

07-28-2005, 10:37 PM

ehhhh kinda. i had my leg in his crack and he farted. then he siad 'uh oh' and he ran tot he bathroom

i asked him 'did u poo'
'no'
'why not'
'most of it came out in my pants'

and i got worried cuz i had to go to work, but he sniffed my lega dn there was no poo on it.

MoonLit Meadow

07-28-2005, 10:39 PM

Originally posted by Gren the cake
ehhhh kinda. i had my leg in his crack and he farted. then he siad 'uh oh' and he ran tot he bathroom

i asked him 'did u poo'
'no'
'why not'
'most of it came out in my pants'

and i got worried cuz i had to go to work, but he sniffed my lega dn there was no poo on it.

LMFAO. That's just RANK ;):p

Gren the cake

07-28-2005, 10:40 PM

and this other time, he farted.. so i held the covers on his head, ya know, to dutch oven him.

well he was in there for like 2 minutes so i figured it was one of those unstinky ones.

well i took the covers off and it smelled SOOOO bad. i said 'YOU WERE WALLOWING IN UR OWN FILTH THAT WHOLE TIME?'

he was holding his breath just to use it against me :mad: semi-clever bastard

ShankS

07-28-2005, 11:12 PM

the gas has gotta come out somewhere..... they'll either talk too much or have to fart :p

MoonLit Meadow

07-28-2005, 11:13 PM

Originally posted by ShankS
the gas has gotta come out somewhere..... they'll either talk too much or have to fart :p

Seems like most of them choose to talk too much ;) God forbid they get FOUND OUT...the horror :p

RoLLiNLiGhTs

07-29-2005, 12:03 PM

The way I see it is...most guys see a girl or smell her perfume, and thats what most us remember when we think of that girl....I know that's how I am.....I certainly don't wanna be with a chick that just lets 'em RIP....Cause thats all I would ever think of when I thought of her....IMO.
I don't do it in from of women...I think it's direspectful to let a sulfur bomb go in your partner's face....IMO.:)

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 12:07 PM

Originally posted by RoLLiNLiGhTs
The way I see it is...most guys see a girl or smell her perfume, and thats what most us remember when we think of that girl....I know that's how I am.....I certainly don't wanna be with a chick that just lets 'em RIP....Cause thats all I would ever think of when I thought of her....IMO.
I don't do it in from of women...I think it's direspectful to let a sulfur bomb go in your partner's face....IMO.:)

Well, I don't mean CONSTANTLY ripping them ;) But I mean, after you've been with somebody for a while...I just think you should be comfortable enough around them to be able to do/say anything. There shouldn't be any pretending.

I understand what you're saying...but I think that after a while, you take the person for everything they are. Just b/c they fart in front of you once in a while, doesn't mean you forget how nice they CAN smell ;)

RoLLiNLiGhTs

07-29-2005, 12:32 PM

Yea....I agree with that...
LOL....from reading your post...alls I could picture was a hot chick sittin on my couch let'em fly....like she just ate a big can o' beans....LOL...

DraculaInDallas

07-29-2005, 12:45 PM

Originally posted by MoonLit Meadow
Alright...
This is sooooo crazy, but I'm going to rant about it anyway. If it offends/bothers any of you...I apologize...however...it's 2 AM, so here goes.

Why do girls pretend that they don't fart/$h%t/stink etc? ;)

I was talking to a friend of mine today, and don't even ASK how we got on the subject...but anyway ;)

She was telling me that she's never farted in front of her boyfriend, and that she'll leave his house if she has to take a Sh%t before she'd ever do it at his house...she doesn't want him to KNOW that she does any of these things! They've been together for 3 years, and this just boggles my mind.

I was like...WTF?? I asked her why she cares so much....and she's like "OMG, I would NEVER let him know I do that!!" and I was like..."DON'T YOU THINK HE KNOWS??? It's no SECRET" And she's like "Well, a lady has to have some mystery about her"....;)

This is so ridiculous to me. I can't imagine hiding that stuff...if somebody's going to be grossed out by a girl b/c she farts then that's really their problem. ;) I can understand maybe not doing those types of things in the beginning of a relationship...b/c everyone is on their best behavior...but after 3 years???

Anyone have any thoughts on this? If not, I'll understand ;) Just hope she doesn't blow one out of her ass while you have your beef log 10 inches deep in her terd tunnel :eek:
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Tat2

07-29-2005, 12:59 PM

Joels' Journal and Fart Filled Fact Book describes the following... To paraphrase:

The "Girls don't Fart fart"

This is a mean one! It's stinch can peel paint from cars and knock little birds out of their nests. It will singe the hair form your nose. This is one dangerous fart!

Be careful around Women that say they don't fart. If they actually don't, then she is not human, but a walking, talking act of terrorism, because it will...eventually explode!

tonica78

07-29-2005, 01:09 PM

Three years and she's running off to shit all this time?! She's crazy. My husband and I have only been married for 2 years but we got over that mess of "I don't want them to know I.." within the first 3-6 months of dating! And the things that she should keep a mystery are sexual things, not shitting and farting. Everyone does it, some people do it with the door open and full conversation with someone else in there too! I know some people who get turned on by turds! :( Yuck!

DraculaInDallas

07-29-2005, 01:15 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
First off 10 inches......that's all?:p
Secondly, that is histerical.

Any further and I might hit the terd supply so 10 is all I'll give her :D

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 01:16 PM

LMFAO. I'm so glad I started this thread...it's provided me with a great deal of entertainment ;)

Drac-You kooky bastard! ;) I'm a girl....I won't be sticking 10 inches of anything into anyone's ass. :p

Hellboy-LMAO. Dutch Ovens are the worst, man. NASTY. ;)

Tat2-I agree...they've gotta come out sometime, and when they do....it'll be like a nucleur bomb went off!

Tonica-Agreed as well. Women need to get over the fact that they do things that aren't always "pretty".

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 01:20 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
Its such a waste to have so much and only be able to use so little. Precisely why bigger is not better. Even if you are from Texas.:p

ENDURANCE STILL STANDS TALL!!!!!

Oh lord. The two of you and your never ending MANHOOD wars;)

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 01:20 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
I purposely eat a healthy serving of baked beans for just that purpose.:D

Beans are good for you....lots of FIBER :p (FAAAAAAAAAAAAART)

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 01:26 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
The pupose is for the woman to el cumo as frequently as she can before the man does. This is true sexcapades. None of this wham bam thank------ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! Men can be assholes sometimes.:D

Anyway, no war here, just a slight disagreement.:p
All is well.

LMFAO. I know that you two only do it as a joke you damn FOFO ;)
It's funny.

And...TRUE SEXCAPADES? BWAHAHAHAHAHAH. Nice verbiage for sure:p

DraculaInDallas

07-29-2005, 01:36 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
The pupose is for the woman to el cumo as frequently as she can before the man does. This is true sexcapades. None of this wham bam thank------ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! Men can be assholes sometimes.:D

Anyway, no war here, just a slight disagreement.:p
All is well.

Exactly. You need to have a few years on you to really know how to make a woman cum multiple times. These youngsters will learn there's more than just blowing your load in 2 minutes and then you're out.....:D Patience and experience goes a long way in a woman having multiple, unelievable orgasms....

Deposable

07-29-2005, 01:45 PM

Originally posted by DraculaInDallas
Exactly. You need to have a few years on you to really know how to make a woman cum multiple times. These youngsters will learn there's more than just blowing your load in 2 minutes and then you're out.....:D Patience and experience goes a long way in a woman having multiple, unelievable orgasms....

Practice makes perfect.

Haunted

07-29-2005, 04:27 PM

My ex bf farted while we were fucking. I felt embaressed for him.

urgeok

07-29-2005, 04:58 PM

Originally posted by Haunted
My ex bf farted while we were fucking. I felt embaressed for him.

did you tell him you were gonna fuck the shit right out of him ?

jenna26

07-29-2005, 06:37 PM

nine9

07-29-2005, 09:11 PM

Originally posted by MoonLit Meadow
Alright...
This is sooooo crazy, but I'm going to rant about it anyway. If it offends/bothers any of you...I apologize...however...it's 2 AM, so here goes.

Why do girls pretend that they don't fart/$h%t/stink etc? ;)

I was talking to a friend of mine today, and don't even ASK how we got on the subject...but anyway ;)

She was telling me that she's never farted in front of her boyfriend, and that she'll leave his house if she has to take a Sh%t before she'd ever do it at his house...she doesn't want him to KNOW that she does any of these things! They've been together for 3 years, and this just boggles my mind.

I was like...WTF?? I asked her why she cares so much....and she's like "OMG, I would NEVER let him know I do that!!" and I was like..."DON'T YOU THINK HE KNOWS??? It's no SECRET" And she's like "Well, a lady has to have some mystery about her"....;)

This is so ridiculous to me. I can't imagine hiding that stuff...if somebody's going to be grossed out by a girl b/c she farts then that's really their problem. ;) I can understand maybe not doing those types of things in the beginning of a relationship...b/c everyone is on their best behavior...but after 3 years???

Anyone have any thoughts on this? If not, I'll understand ;)

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D Oh and BTW..........I don't fart! hehe :p

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 09:12 PM

Originally posted by nine9
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D Oh and BTW..........I don't fart! hehe :p

YEAH RIGHT! Those who DENY it SUPPLY IT ;)

_iam138_

07-29-2005, 09:12 PM

dude my girlfriend farts on me as a joke and gives me dutch ovens and shit

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 09:14 PM

Originally posted by _iam138_
dude my girlfriend farts on me as a joke and gives me dutch ovens and shit

I bet you love every minute. You probably can't get enough of her funky aroma ;)

nine9

07-29-2005, 09:16 PM

Originally posted by MoonLit Meadow
YEAH RIGHT! Those who DENY it SUPPLY IT ;)

hehe........you'll never really know will you my dear!? ;) :p :D At least you hope not :eek:

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 09:19 PM

Originally posted by nine9
hehe........you'll never really know will you my dear!? ;) :p :D At least you hope not :eek:

Yikes...somebody warned of girls like you earlier on here...if you keep hiding it...eventually you're gonna blow! ;) And DAAAAAAMN....I don't wanna be there when ya do chickie ;):p :D

newb

07-29-2005, 09:19 PM

Originally posted by Haunted
My ex bf farted while we were fucking. I felt embaressed for him.

Hence the Ex status?

nine9

07-29-2005, 09:22 PM

Originally posted by MoonLit Meadow
Yikes...somebody warned of girls like you earlier on here...if you keep hiding it...eventually you're gonna blow! ;) And DAAAAAAMN....I don't wanna be there when ya do chickie ;):p :D

HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well won't that be fun! I'll point it to the best possible person deserving.......don't worry! :D

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 09:24 PM

Originally posted by nine9
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well won't that be fun! I'll point it to the best possible person deserving.......don't worry! :D

LMAO. I think Hellboy's just DYING for somebody to rip one in his face. He loves a good gas fest ;)

nine9

07-29-2005, 09:26 PM

Originally posted by MoonLit Meadow
LMAO. I think Hellboy's just DYING for somebody to rip one in his face. He loves a good gas fest ;)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :p

newb

07-29-2005, 09:27 PM

Originally posted by MoonLit Meadow
LMAO. I think Hellboy's just DYING for somebody to rip one in his face. He loves a good gas fest ;)

Didn't Hellboy make a girls nose bleed from farting once?.....or so the legend goes.

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 09:28 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
I GOT A DUTCH OVEN WAITING FOR YOU AT THE FIRST HDC PARTY, DOGGYDOGG!:p

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! WORD TO YOUR MOMZ BIZNITCH ;)

That'd be damn hilarious...HDC party. OMG, there would be some charachters there for sure;)

nine9

07-29-2005, 09:29 PM

Originally posted by newb
Didn't Hellboy make a girls nose bleed from farting once?.....or so the legend goes.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D lol....was that it?......I forget now..........:p

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 09:29 PM

Originally posted by newb
Didn't Hellboy make a girls nose bleed from farting once?.....or so the legend goes.

No, he made her whole face melt from the fumes ;)

jenna26

07-29-2005, 09:31 PM

Originally posted by newb
Didn't Hellboy make a girls nose bleed from farting once?.....or so the legend goes.

LMFAO.....so that's what really happened.....:p

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 09:35 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
What is this a conspiracy?:p

NO, it's an investigation! And your ass is the prime suspect!!!:eek:

nine9

07-29-2005, 09:38 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
My ass huh? OY!!!!!

A conspiracy.....should we talk girls? jk DJ............lol

newb

07-29-2005, 09:38 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
My ass huh? OY!!!!!

http://media.jokesnstuff.us/images/multimedia/farting%20fire.jpg

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 09:39 PM

Originally posted by newb
http://media.jokesnstuff.us/images/multimedia/farting%20fire.jpg

LMAO! Exactly. We're on to you HELLBOY! We know what that ass is capable of!!!! :p

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 09:54 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
Hey, my nephew wants to say hi.

Your nephew is one rude little boy ;):p

nine9

07-29-2005, 09:56 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
Hey, my nephew wants to say hi.

Now you are surrounded! LMAO.............don't worry .we will be kind.......only if you abide by the rules. :p

jenna26

07-29-2005, 09:56 PM

Originally posted by MoonLit Meadow
Your nephew is one rude little boy ;):p

Yep, the resemblance is uncanny isn't it? :rolleyes: :p

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 09:58 PM

Originally posted by jenna26
Yep, the resemblance is uncanny isn't it? :rolleyes: :p

LMAO. Yeah, they could be twins;)

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 09:58 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
He as well as his uncle is the son of a sailor.:p Dutch oven time for you sweetie.:p

*Puts on gas mask*

jenna26

07-29-2005, 10:12 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
I say fuck the rules!!!!!!!

Yeah, you say that now.... :p

jenna26

07-29-2005, 10:19 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
I've always broke the rules. And at times, this has proven to be a good thing.:p

Yes, at times I'm sure it has.....

Now let us hear about all those other times....;)

kpropain

07-29-2005, 10:22 PM

*In best Sean William Scott voice from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back*

What's all this talk about farting??????:D

edit: RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 10:24 PM

Originally posted by kpropain
*In best Sean William Scott voice from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back*

What's all this talk about farting??????:D

edit: RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

LMAO. Dude, we WERE talking about farting....but since HELLBOY AND JENNA are THREAD PIRATES...we're just....kinda watching them talk now ;):p :D

jenna26

07-29-2005, 10:25 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
I cant be setting a bad example for all the youngins of the group. Last time I did that I was banned.:rolleyes:

LMAO!!! You're just sooooo bad....:rolleyes:

:p

kpropain

07-29-2005, 10:26 PM

Originally posted by MoonLit Meadow
LMAO. Dude, we WERE talking about farting....but since HELLBOY AND JENNA are THREAD PIRATES...we're just....kinda watching them talk now ;):p :D

Leave it to Hellboy to jack a thread :p :D

jenna26

07-29-2005, 10:27 PM

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 10:27 PM

Originally posted by kpropain
Leave it to Hellboy to jack a thread :p :D

LOL! Hmm....I think I jacked my OWN thread tonight though...so I can't really say anything ;)

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 10:28 PM

Originally posted by jenna26
Hey now!!!:mad: We're thread pirates? Ha! You perfected the art....:p

LMAO. I know, I spoke too soon...I regreted saying that as soon as I posted it ;)

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 10:34 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
Oh is that so, Dogg, well I figured you'd chicken out after my nephew had a few choice words, but since you wanna talk about gas relaxation, we can start back up.
Tell us all the story of when you tried to fart and shit your pants instead. :p

HELL YEAH. Moonlit Doggy Dogg in the HIZOOOOOUSE BITCH ;)

You wanna talk about that fool? If I remember correctly, yeah...I DID SHIT MY PANTS...then you scrubbed them for me. With your toothbrush....YEAH! :p

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 10:35 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
Foot in mouth desease runs wild in your family. It practically GALLOPS!!!!!:p

LMFAO. GIDDY UP :p :D

kpropain

07-29-2005, 10:36 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
You know that saying bud, If you're gonna be bad, Be good at it!:D

LMAO well since we're talking about farting there was that little thing that happened with me and my ex, that while she was going down on me I was so relaxed and i just couldn't help myself and went

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP P!!!!!!!

Dude talk about embarasing, plus I thought she was gonna kick my ass....:D

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 10:37 PM

Originally posted by kpropain
LMAO well since we're talking about farting there was that little thing that happened with me and my ex, that while she was going down on me I was so relaxed and i just couldn't help myself and went

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP P!!!!!!!

Dude talk about embarasing, plus I thought she was gonna kick my ass....:D

LMAO. That's okay, Haunted said her BF farted while they were having sex....:p

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 10:38 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
ROTFFLMFAO!!!!! You THOUGHT it was MY toothbrush anyway. ROTFFLMFAO!!!!:p

LMFAO!!!!! Oh it wasn't YOURS? Whose was it then? YO MAMA'S? ;):p

kpropain

07-29-2005, 10:40 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
You mean she didnt kick your ass?

LMAO no but she tried:D But it was funny as fucking hell anyway...

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 10:46 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
HEY HEY!!!!!! Did I tell anyone when your mom was caught on tape farting? No I didnt!!!!!! How rude!!!???

OMG!!!! First of all...my mom is WAY hotter than that ;) Second of all....I'm not sure farting is what's taking place there ;)

kpropain

07-29-2005, 10:47 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
HEY HEY!!!!!! Did I tell anyone when your mom was caught on tape farting? No I didnt!!!!!! How rude!!!???

That's a HUUUUUGE bitch!!!!!

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 10:52 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
ROTFFLMFAO!!!!!! Well, I'm sure it didnt start out with her farting, but it sure ended up that way. And have you seen your Momz lately? I dont think you have. :p

Oh hell yes I have. She's one FIIIIIINE lady ;) I know YOU haven't seen her. She'd never hang around with the likes of you ;):p

kpropain

07-29-2005, 10:57 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
That she would tell you anyway, but none the less it is a funny pic.:p

No that fucking pic is NASSSSSSSSTYYYYY!!!!!!

Funny but nasty....

nine9

07-29-2005, 10:57 PM

Well It can say that I am glad that that whole horrible occurance never EVER happens to me! ............because I am perfect........lol............and you know that DJ...........lol
:p ;)

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 11:01 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
The perfect FART maybe.:D

LMAO. Nine is in SUCH denial...she's probably the worst of us all! ;)

nine9

07-29-2005, 11:07 PM

Originally posted by MoonLit Meadow
LMAO. Nine is in SUCH denial...she's probably the worst of us all! ;)

hehe...........you will never know...........lol :p ;) :D

MoonLit Meadow

07-29-2005, 11:07 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
Well folks, it's been real and its been fun, but...........well you know the rest. Off to fart in my sleep. Goodnight all.:p
Dutch Oven anyone?

Yeah it's been real, it's been fun...but it definately hasn't been REAL FUN ;) Well...yeah it has:p

And I should head out too I suppose. It's been a pleasure as always kids. ;)

Don't forget to wear your nose plugs to bed if you live anywhere near Hellboy :D

kpropain

07-29-2005, 11:13 PM

And on that note.

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D

knife_fight

07-30-2005, 12:08 AM

I read the first couple pages and then skipped to the end. so, sorry if I'm going off-subject by being on the subject.

I know a girl who was MARRIED to a guy for a year before she let him see her without makeup! she'd wake up early to put her shit on, then go to bed after he did. they've been married for almost 5 years now, and they STILL don't fart in front of each other! and they dated for about 3 years before they got married!

I, on the other hand, am not quite as squeamish. however, this one time me and this girl were in that "about to hook up" stage once, and she farted in her sleep (it was a kinda slumber party type deal where a bunch of people from out of town were staying in one place). after that, it was over before it ever began. but once I'm with a girl for awhile, it's no big deal at all. the girl I'm with now I've been seeing for about 3 years and we fart in front of each other all the time.

MoonLit Meadow

07-30-2005, 07:47 PM

Originally posted by knife_fight

I, on the other hand, am not quite as squeamish. however, this one time me and this girl were in that "about to hook up" stage once, and she farted in her sleep (it was a kinda slumber party type deal where a bunch of people from out of town were staying in one place). after that, it was over before it ever began. but once I'm with a girl for awhile, it's no big deal at all. the girl I'm with now I've been seeing for about 3 years and we fart in front of each other all the time.

LMAO. Yeah, everybody wants to keep a perfect facade up in the beginning...you always want to think the person you're with isn't capable of such an explosion ;) But after a while you just have to release the beast ;) :p :D

MoonLit Meadow

07-30-2005, 09:28 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
Releasing the fumes is as natural as an orgasm. In my opinion. It shouldnt be embarassing, or wrong in anyones eyes. It's something kept personal, and if you feel you can do it in his/her presence and vice versa, AWESOME! That's my opinion.:) Relationships that are content with shit like that, more power to them. Dutch Ovens are still fun.

I don't know if Dutch Ovens are fun, but they're definately a means of defeating the enemy;) Or friend for that matter...:p

I was wondering how long it was going to take for somebody to bump this gas thread back to its proper standing. We can't have it die so soon!!! A fart would linger....and so this thread shall as well.

MoonLit Meadow

07-30-2005, 09:35 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
I think it stinks!!! YUK, YUK, YUK!:p

I have defeated the enemy in the passed.:D

As in....PASSED GAS? :p

MoonLit Meadow

07-30-2005, 09:37 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
Good girl you got it!!!!;)

LMAO. Yeah, don't let the blonde hair fool you....I'm muy intelligente;):p

MoonLit Meadow

07-30-2005, 09:44 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
i tried to conceal the "passed" joke with the "defarted" comment. But you "inhaled". Therefore you be muy intellegente, because ya got it.;)

OMG! All of this TOM FOOLERY ;) I guess I have to decode all of your posts now...why must you make it so difficult? All I wanna do is talk about farts, GOD! :p Speaking of God....GOD are we immature or what? ;):D

MoonLit Meadow

07-30-2005, 09:48 PM

Yeah...when are we gonna get a life? ;):p

MoonLit Meadow

07-30-2005, 09:52 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
I'm kinda happy with my relief. Why arent you? lol.

LOL. I guess you can only pass so much gas in one night. It's a sad day when you realize you've used up your supply ;):p

MoonLit Meadow

07-30-2005, 09:57 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
the best part about earth.......is there is never a short supply of gas.:p
Or women for Dutch Ovens.:D

OMG. Read this...I guarentee you'll fart with laughter ;)

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dutch+oven

MoonLit Meadow

07-30-2005, 10:07 PM

Originally posted by hellboy
THAT IS FUCKING GREAT!!!!!!! Here it is folks.:D

Blowing hard ass wind under the covers several times and building up stench while your old lady is brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed, then when she gets into bed, pull the covers over her head and yell "Dutch Oven" and let her enjoy the stench of your ass gas for at least 30 seconds.Jonas nearly crapped his Underoos preparing a Dutch Oven for his special lady!

LMAO. I also enjoyed this one...;)

The act of throwing out a vicious, obnoxious fart in bed and then holding the head of a loved one underneath the sheets, either until they pass out or better still vomit.

Ex. "I knew that I had left a skiddie in my pants as I curved out a stinkfart. I then asked my wife to check under the covers to see whether there was a spider. She was immediately overcome by the repugnant gas that was down there and try as she might, she couldn't fight as my hands held her head in place. When she came up eventually, she remarked that she felt nauseous and that I had indeed shit my pants in the process"

evil_blonde

07-30-2005, 11:13 PM

Some people are such idiots, really.

evil_blonde

07-30-2005, 11:21 PM