"Lightning Bug" Review ALL WRONG!

[ALMOSTHUMAN]

This is in response to Staci Layne Wilson's rather erroneous "Review" of my film "Lightning Bug".

I think the main problem is that you refer to it in the first sentence as a horror film. Just because the horror community has embraced the film and review it on websites and print, has more to do with my resume with FX than anyone trying to "Hoodwink" you as you so eloquently put it.

YOU CHOSE to review the film without doing your homework.

Anchor Bay is not horror and horror alone.........

After providing makeup fx for 47 films and several hit TV shows (Mostly horror related) I have certainly earned the right to "Lurk" at Horror conventions and promote my film.

Staci, a simple google search would tell you the film is being marketed as a drama. While you are entitled to dislike films with a real plot and the absence of cheesy decapitations, I feel you do the readers a major disservice by continually and unfairly judging it and me as if I were attempting to make a horror film.

Please don't under estimate your readers intelligence and taste for cinema. I would bet 10 to one, the same readers here, who purchased every single version of "Halloween" on dvd also covet at least one VHS copy of "Stand By Me" or "Slingblade".

As for the captions...I agree! I would have liked to include them but this was not may call. You are more than welcome to come over and I'll read the script to you....slowly..... to fill in those "Gaping Plot Holes".

BTW: If you had paid attention you would know Hal Sparks has four scenes in the film-not two.

Robert Hall
writer/director
"Lightning Bug"
www.lightningbugthemovie.com

[ShankS]

I just read the synopsis over at your site...it speaks horror to me, it's full of horror references and the main page image, the first image you see, has a guy holding a carved up bloodied dead pig, in the fashion suited to a 'typical' horror film.

:confused:

I haven't read any reviews, though.

[ALMOSTHUMAN]

Sadly, No it's supposed to be a fake bloody dead pig(the kid does fx) and the monsters are all human as for the reviews Here you go "Shanks"!

Variety’s Video Business calls “Lightning Bug” “One of the Most Dignified Indies to come along This Year or Last”

AINT IT COOL NEWS Says: “the film ….and acting is surprisingly strong and focused.”


“FANTASTIC.....Robert Hall has fashioned a frightening portrayal of the Bible Belt in the Deep South.."
Merle Bertrand -FILM THREAT


"A wonderful coming of age story, told with authenticity, conviction and real feelings. LIGHTNING BUG marks an impressive directorial debut by Robert Hall."
Tony Timpone -editor FANGORIA magazine


"FIND THIS MOVIE AND WATCH IT!!”
DAVE DREHER –CREATURE-CORNER.COM


"So clearly personal...it almost hurts to watch...it's just a quiet little People Story, only not the force-fed, paint-by-numbers, insert-majestic-musical-score-here sort of pap that we're normally fed at the multiplexes. It's frequently funny and periodically horrifying.”
Scott Weinberg -Efilmcritic.com



“What really propels the film out of the gravity of its clichés is writer/director Robert Hall’s increasing attention to what makes his story unique.”
David Thomas -Filmcritic.com



“Alternating between endearing and frightening, Lightning Bug is an enjoyable and strong (directing) debut..
Thumbs up...”
Michael Johnson-Monsters at Play


“Touching and heartfelt, Lightning Bug is also original.”
Michael Christopher -PopMatters.com



“Hall never fails to entertain and his casting is impressive.”
Joyce J. Perisco -The Trenton Times


“A stirring first film.......Hall is a talented artist and we look forward to more films from him.”
Phil and Carol Fuoco -Moviereviewers.com


“a fine film that deserves to be a hit”.
Smogo -therumormachine.com



“a finely crafted tribute to not only daring to dream but also acting on those dreams.”
Rich Drees -FilmBuffOnLine.com



“it's a new breed in its own....Truly Brilliant.”
BLOODY-DISGUSTING.COM



“It's "This Boy's Life" for horror fans!”
John Fallon - Arrow in the head



“one helluva good movie!.. Truly something special.”
Debi Moore –The Horror Channel



“I LOVED IT!!!!”
Doc Holiday -Indie 103.1 (Los Angeles)

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE!

“…..Comparable to GARDEN STATE…...”
HORROR.COM

[MisterSadistro]

Besides this thread sounding like endless spam for your movie (which if you ever read anything else in the film section is definitely frowned upon, esp when you're new here and that is the only thing you've talked about), it doesn't sound like you take criticism very well. If it has been so widely embraced by the "horror audience", why do you care what one review says ? Most of the films I've worked on get bad reviews all the time. Word of advice: don't lose any sleep over it. I'm sure "Staci" isn't.
CK

[filmmaker2]

Hi, Rob! How's it going.

[stacilayne]

<<If you had paid attention you would know Hal Sparks has four scenes in the film-not two.>>

Nope. I haven't been losing any sleep. In fact, I must have nodded off during two of Hal's scenes. Sorry about that, because he's always entertaining.

Don't worry, my one review won't cost you any sales or rentals. People tend to buy and rent what they want to see, anyway.

Best,
Staci

[AUSTIN316426808]

Please tell me you're not going to try and go after every critic who's review you don't approve of?:rolleyes:


You don't see Scorsese calling press conferences to discredit something Ebert and Roeper said do you?

[bwind22]

Originally posted by stacilayne
<<If you had paid attention you would know Hal Sparks has four scenes in the film-not two.>>

Nope. I haven't been losing any sleep. In fact, I must have nodded off during two of Hal's scenes. Sorry about that, because he's always entertaining.

Don't worry, my one review won't cost you any sales or rentals. People tend to buy and rent what they want to see, anyway.

Best,
Staci

In fact, it will probably gain you one.

Don't worry... Ever since she said Cursed was the "The most terrifying movie of the year.", I tend to go against what she says.

[MisterSadistro]

You don't see Scorsese calling press conferences to discredit something Ebert and Roeper said do you?
Of course not. The only taste those two have is Scorsese's ass in their mouths from constant ass-kissing. However, I digress :D
I must've been having a blackout when I first responded here. Let me try more of the usual rhetoric instead.
Shanks said he didn't read your other reviews in all likelihood because he wasn't that interested. He surely didn't ask you to post them for him. Know why ? People here hate noobs who come here with the sole purpose of spamming. Whining about a bad review probably isn't going to win you over any fans here either. Be glad Staci even bothered to watch your film, much less review it. Didn't care for her criticism ? Too bad. That goes with the territory. You should know that. Coming here just to call her out on it and spamming with all the review taglines of what she was "supposed" to write is uncalled for to say the least. In fact I'd say it was rather pompous and rude. You're not some 16 year old who just shot your backyard epic on your parents camcorder. Have some integrity. Claiming her review was "all wrong" because she didn't correctly report the number of scenes of someone or what kind of genres a distribution company releases doesn't change a thing. The bottom line is still the same: SHE DIDN'T LIKE IT. Why should she have to "do her homework" and "a google search" about it ? Maybe if she enjoyed it, she would have to see what other films you/your company have made. I would guess that you have some of those wonderful review taglines on the box cover. Fangoria, BloodyDisgusting, ArrowInTheHead, etc are all horror review sites, correct ? Why wouldn't someone reading that get the assumption this is a horror film when you/ your company were the ones who decide what would be printed on that box ? Simple. Marketing. Case in point: You listed her review as saying (and I'm directly quoting this off your post): “…..Comparable to GARDEN STATE…...”
HORROR.COM
Hey, for someone who's a fan of that, it must mean this film is pretty good, huh ? WRONG !
"If Lightning Bug were being marketed as a drama, I might sorta-kinda compare it to 2004’s acclaimed Garden State (though Garden State has more artistic flair and better dialogue than Lightning Bug, for me it had the same tedious feel to it)" was the real quote. I notice you conveniently forgot to include the lack of artistic flair, bad dialogue and tedious part. You obviously tried to manipulate what was said to make your film seem more palatable. If I had any inclination to "do my homework" and a "google search", I don't think I'd be surprised to find out all the "glowing" reviews (bad pun not intended) might also have similar omissions. You know what really gives me that idea ? A lot of "..." going on. "..." usually signals that something not in the film's best interest was there originally. Want an example ? Let's sat I saw your film (which I won't) and my one sentence review was "This film is super crappy and a bigger waste of my time than the 'Star Wars' opening trilogy". "..." can be used to make it sound like a good thing such as "This film is super...bigger... than 'Star Wars' ". That's pretty clever, huh ?
Let's face it. You used quotes from horror sites (most likely in a misleading manner) in order to get horror fans to get your film. One happens to write reviews and says it's not a horror film. You show up quick enough to point out "her" error. She still gave your film a fair review even though it was unfairly marketed to her as being something it wasn't. You should probably thank her for being kind enough to even mention the good things about the film and call it a day.
Besides, you're now an annoying, spamming and (drumroll, please...) WHINING noob. I haven't even made a pic for such an event so I'll just throw you one of my usual:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/darthvonpokemon/DVPglad.jpg
CK

[ALMOSTHUMAN]

Rock on man. With as much effort as you put into that text blasting me you could have written your own script and made your own movie! This would beef up those 8 films on your proudly displayed IMDb page.

I'm really surprised "The films you work on get bad reviews". I rather enjoyed "Faces Of SchlocK" and "Slumber Party Murder Mania".....highly underrated.

I'm not really interested in a flame war (I actually have a career) I said my piece and am fine now. If hobbyist reviewers want to review a film just know what genre it is THAT'S ALL.

It's like me reviewing LAND OF THE DEAD on DRAMAS.ORG and complaining it was too bloody.

Incidentally I listen to some of your score stuff and it's actually quite good. Hey but what do I know?

RH

[42ndStreetFreak]

“…..Comparable to GARDEN STATE…...”
HORROR.COM


OOOOOOH! Sorry 'Almosthuman', you are BUSTED!

Not only did you disgustingly misuse that quote, but you were stupid enough to print it in a rant against the review as an example of what good reviews your film has got!!

Where was your mind?!

[AUSTIN316426808]

I just have one question....


If someone gave you a 5 star review, I mean really kissed your ass...praised your film...said it was better than the Godfather but they made the what you claim to be ''mistake'' of calling it a horror film would you register to that person's website for the sole purpose of bitching about it?


you're going to get bad reviews...

I've read bad reviews for fucking Taxi Driver which I think you'll agree is infinitely better than whatever you've done....


As far as her supposedly getting the genre wrong it really doesn't matter that much, if it's not good it's not good...saying it's a drama instead of a horror mostly likely isn't going to change anyone's opinion of it. They're either going to think it sucks or it's good. I personally have never seen a movie and said...

''wow that horror movie sucked...oh wait it's a drama...I change my mind it's a masterpiece.''

[AUSTIN316426808]

Originally posted by 42ndStreetFreak
“…..Comparable to GARDEN STATE…...”
HORROR.COM


OOOOOOH! Sorry 'Almosthuman', you are BUSTED!

Not only did you disgustingly misuse that quote, but you were stupid enough to print it in a rant against the review as an example of what good reviews your film has got!!

Where was your mind?!


I think it's pathetic that he's desperate enough to cut up a quote in order to make it look like someone said his movie is comparable to Garden State which isn't all that great in the first place.

[THING99]

the director is not pissed because horror.com gave it a bad review he's pissed because they misrepresented the movie.

also mr. sadistio and austin you freekin morons, he was obviously being sarcastic with the quote "comparable to Garden State"

EEEDIOTS. Shhhs.

I for one am the only one here whos seen the movie at the Philly Film Fest 04 and It's Real good. Much better than Taxi Driver IMOHO.

I just read it's in the top 100 most preordered dvds on amazon so Im pretty sure he doesnt care what you boneheads think.

Thingy

[AUSTIN316426808]

Originally posted by THING99
the director is not pissed because horror.com gave it a bad review he's pissed because they misrepresented the movie.

also sadistic and austin you freekin morons, he was obviously being sarcastic with the quote "comparable to Garden State"

EEEDIOTS. Shhhs.

I for one am the only one here whos seen the movie at the Philly Film Fest 04 and It's Real good. Much better than Taxi Driver IMOHO.

I just read it's in the top 100 most preordered dvds on amazon so Im pretty sure he doesnt care what you boneheads think.

Thingy


You're obviously either him or a friend of his...

I'm not sure which would be more pathetic, making a separate account to defend yourself or getting someone else to register for the sole purpose of defending you.

''Much better than Taxi Driver IMOHO''

I'm impressed that you actually made yourself believe such a vicious lie.

I guess he's a better director than Scorsese too right:rolleyes:

maybe something's wrong with my comp but I don't see anybody named sadistic ya moron:rolleyes:

[THING99]

Originally posted by AUSTIN316426808
You're obviously either him or a friend of his...

I guess he's a better director than Scorsese too right:rolleyes:

actually I am an east coast film reviewer, not a director. And as a fellow reviewer I can say that this type of response is not uncommon from filmmakers and it's never easy to deal with.

Now that being said this is America folks, not afghanistahn!

If SLW wants to review films and post to millions The director CERTAINLY has the right for a rebuttal and to comment back in public.

and I'm not joking I hated Taxi Driver! Scorcese is a hack!

And if he reads this and wants to respond it's his 1st amendment right!

Thingy

[AUSTIN316426808]

Originally posted by THING99


Scorcese is a hack!




Well that's a wrap as far as having sensible conversation with you in the future.

but anyway....

I never said he wasn't allowed to say what he thinks about the review I just think it's sad that he feels the need to. If his film is as great as he's trying to make us think then he shouldn't have to sweat a bad or miscategorizing review.

[42ndStreetFreak]

Originally posted by THING99
actually I am an east coast film reviewer,

Now that being said this is America folks, not afghanistahn!

and I'm not joking I hated Taxi Driver! Scorcese is a hack!


Is it a common trend for east coast film reviewers not to start sentences with capital letters and to spell Afghanistan incorrectly? Or are YOU a hack?

[MisterSadistro]

So what relation are you to the director ? Right or wrong, the guy came here to spam his film. If he ever bothered to stop in to introduce himself, post a around a bit before cramming half reviews down people's throats after attacking someone's opinion of his film, I'm sure you wouldn't have suddenly felt the need to register and come directly here to defend it. As usual, it's always ok to register, spam a film all over the place and leave, right ? Guess what ? Not to the members who are here day in and day out who have a seemingly endless parade of it.
For someone who's not "interested in a flame war", why come here saying someone's review was "all wrong", etc. IMHO it looks like that's exactly what he was doing, all the while keeping the name of the movie out there. There was no 'Lightning Bug' thread here until he made it. and drew all the negative attention to it.
As for writing my own screenplays, I do. My first feature starts rolling this winter and I'll be damn sure not to use half quotes to try marketing it, signing up on boards so I can spam it and leave as quickly as I came and I sure as hell won't go after reviewers on their sites to "correct" them since they "got it all wrong". Someone doesn't like my movie ? Fine. Thanks for at least taking the time to watch it. Maybe the next one will be more to their liking. Maybe not. I don't take it personally.
As for the 8 films I have listed on IMDB (which I've never mentioned on here by name once since that would still be spamming), there are plenty more not up there. You want to know who made the titles your friend is so quick to dismiss ? An 18 year old kid. I took the time out of my schedule to help him get started out, which is the same thing I'd do here for anyone who wanted help to make a film (he subsequently reused some of the music for his short in the other film). Maybe that's not important to your friend since he "has a career", so why bother coming here and act like a big shot to impress anybody ? If he ever read anything at all upon his arrival, he would've know he's not dealing with Variety magazine in the first place.
As for my score stuff, that's also just an opinion. I wouldn't start ranting about getting "it all wrong" since you didn't understand that I was actually trying to market it as something else. It is what it is and if you needed to see it in the film for it's full context to enjoy it, it probably wasn't worth it for you to listen in the first place.
CK
PS If you're going to insist on calling other people "morons" and "idiots" in the future, you might want to use Spellcheck and do something along the lines of punctuation before posting your flames. It's like the pot calling the kettle black when you are unable to form one complete, legitimate sentence in plain English. :rolleyes:

[Marroe]

ach...this is why I stay away from reviews in the first place.

opinions, opinions, opinions, opinions:rolleyes:

[bwind22]

Originally posted by THING99

and I'm not joking I hated Taxi Driver! Scorcese is a hack!



No wonder you choose to remain anonymous. Scorcese could probably end your career with one phone call.

[stacilayne]

<< I tend to go against what she says.>>

What would happen if you actually agreed with one of my opinions? Would we be even? http://staciwilson.com/favorite.html

:)

Staci

[EXTR3MIST]

That avatar captures the scariest moment of one of the scariest movie scenes ever.

[filmmaker2]

Yeah, Staci, that avatar is awesome. Really!

[stacilayne]

Thanks! I haven't seen anyone else with that avatar... yet! I like the one of the angry pussy... Looks like mine. My *CAT*, that is! Her name is Judy, and she's whacky. She doesn't hiss like that, though. She's a wimp and gets beat up a lot.

Staci

[filmmaker2]

My avatar cat is named Beige Pootie, and she has a brother named Gray Pootie, and they're the only survivors of their litter of six from last year. They're alley cats with good human friends that feed 'em expensive food, and so on. Smart little suckers. They are like little miniature mountain lions. They catch the mice in the apartment building. They are awesome.

Actually Beige Pootie isn't snarling or hissing, she is just making a weird face because she is confused. Both of the Pooties get confused when I take pictures of them, because they don't know what the hell is going on or why the light is flashing at them.

Wait a minute, this has nothing to do with the thread! Whoops, sorry!

*And yes, I'm sure your, umm, your CAT, shall we say, is really cute too.*

[slasherman]

Originally posted by AUSTIN316426808
You're obviously either him or a friend of his...




pretty sure THING99 are ALMOSTHUMAN.....


SPAM ALERT

[filmmaker2]

I'm sure that's true...

But do you think we could get this thread centered back on its real topic.....Cats???


C
A
T

S


MEOW WOW!

[stacilayne]

OK. What's your favorite horror movie with a cat?

...Argento's The Black Cat? Cat's Eye? Sleepwalkers? Night of 1000 Cats?

Staci

[filmmaker2]

"Flesh and Fantasy" with Edward G. Robinson has many cats. Hordes of cats, actually. And it's not really a horror movie, more of a fantasy with occasional nightmarish elements. Recommended, by the way.

[AUSTIN316426808]

Sleepwalkers sucks

[urgeok]

Originally posted by stacilayne
OK. What's your favorite horror movie with a cat?

...Argento's The Black Cat? Cat's Eye? Sleepwalkers? Night of 1000 Cats?

Staci


Garfield !! doesnt get more horrible than that !


oh .. you said horror

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by urgeok
Garfield !! doesnt get more horrible than that !


oh .. you said horror

I dunno, that movie was pretty horrible.

And "horrible" and "horror" are almost 58% the same word.

[zwoti]

Originally posted by stacilayne
OK. What's your favorite horror movie with a cat?

...Argento's The Black Cat? Cat's Eye? Sleepwalkers? Night of 1000 Cats?

Staci

first one to say the uncanny is in trouble

[SodaGirl]

I have only read one review for Lightning Bug, and that's the one on Arrow in the Head... It convinced me that I'd like it and I saved it in my Netflix Queue quite a while ago and will be moving it to the top soon.