Fatherly Love

[jay o2 waster]

Me and my dad have never gotten along and today he said somtihing so ridicolusly over the top that i coouldn't help but laugh in his face. It's 6:30 am. my day off and im fast half asleep in my bed wathing Guinie Pig Flower of Flesh and blood. Hecomes in and gives me the god dont want me watching people get dismembered lecture. I'm like: OK. close my eyes again expecting him to go away. Well he was on his way out when he seen it! A french fry. 1 french fry covered in ants. BOOM he explodes. I apologize for dropping it. Doest work hes gone off the deep end. He throws a letter at me and says here you got this in the mail. Its to sign up for war. He leaves my room gets a pen says fill it out Id rather you just went to war....:eek:

I couldnt help it i just burst out with laughter. his last words: Its the one thing a lowlife highschool drop out can do fine.

:p


lots of love at my house tonight eh?:(

[urgeok]

any war in particular ?

[jay o2 waster]

Originally posted by urgeok
any war in particular ? a violent one i assume. i just couldnt believe he said that

[urgeok]

Originally posted by jay o2 waster
a violent one i assume. i just couldnt believe he said that

sounds like you're already in one ..

[jay o2 waster]

not really. we don't usualy fight too much...

I guess my most recent lif choices have made him feel like he has failed at raising me

[urgeok]

Originally posted by jay o2 waster
not really. we don't usualy fight too much...

I guess my most recent lif choices have made him feel like he has failed at raising me

not to jump to his defence - it can be a bitch of a job ..

i had a night of frustration myself with my 4 year old at baseball tonight ..

wouldnt listen to me or the coach - went nuts the whole game - and ended the night by hitting the coaches son in the mouth with an aluminum baseball bat. (it was an accident but still - the kids mouth is bleeding)

all the time you keep wondering - what the fuck am i doing wrong ?

[jay o2 waster]

well, he never really had much to do with my upbringing. MY mom was always there for me. and he was just sort of well, there...

this year alone i flunked out of high school
got caught with pot
caught drinking (don't think he knows of that though)
nearly lost my job 3 times


but i don't even think that is wht he cares about. as far as he is conserned i am a lost cause because i listen to music he hates, piercings/tattoos, horror movies, my extensive library of occult/satanic literature. as far as he is consirned (he has told me this) I am going to hell and there is nothing he can do about it.

Urg. Never look down on your son for the way he looks, things that he is intreasted in, his friends.. etc. it hurts a relationship much more than you would think:(

[urgeok]

Originally posted by jay o2 waster
Urg. Never look down on your son for the way he looks, things that he is intreasted in, his friends.. etc. it hurts a relationship much more than you would think:(


i'm well aware of that ...
i know kids need to express themselves .. i know that once he's in a higher level of school that friends become a stronger influence ...

but i still want him to make smart choices .. (the life or death kind)
and more and more depending where you live and what you are exposed to - a lot of choces are life and death ..

(should i get in the car with my drunk friend, should i take this pill at this party ...etc)

We love our kid more than anything on the planet and if something happened to him it would kill us (although we also understand smothering is dangerous too)

the other thing that would destroy me is if he didnt like me ..
I was never close to my parents - i never wanted that to happen to me ..

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

Originally posted by urgeok
not to jump to his defence - it can be a bitch of a job ..

i had a night of frustration myself with my 4 year old at baseball tonight ..

wouldnt listen to me or the coach - went nuts the whole game - and ended the night by hitting the coaches son in the mouth with an aluminum baseball bat. (it was an accident but still - the kids mouth is bleeding)

all the time you keep wondering - what the fuck am i doing wrong ?

He's only four years old.. Your son sounds cool. :D

[urgeok]

Originally posted by X¤MurderDoll¤X
He's only four years old.. Your son sounds cool. :D

daycare/teacher/doctor .. all saying he has ADD ..

he's a good kid .. loving, super friendly, affectionate, funny,smart,,
he just needs stimulation - and when he's around other kids he just wants to play and make them laugh.

it's time though - even at 4 - where he has to begin to learn that there is a right time and a wrong time to do certain things ...
the trick is to try to teach him these things WITHOUT killing his spirit.

The things that drive people nuts now will be assets to him later in life ..

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

Originally posted by urgeok
daycare/teacher/doctor .. all saying he has ADD ..


pssht every kid has ADD apparantly.

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by X¤MurderDoll¤X
pssht every kid has ADD apparantly. Yeah...I'm getting a little sick of that shit...



So, let's see...Your kid is hyper, can't sit still, doesn't pay attention to the things he/she isn't interested in, has a short attention span...Well, that's probably because your kid is...A KID!!!


Does every adult forget that WE were ALL this way when WE were kids?!!!


I'd be concerned if my kid WASN'T hyper, had no energy, was docile and quiet...


Turning healthy, NORMAL kids into drugged up zombies doesn't sound to me like the awesome solution everyone else seems to think it is :rolleyes:

How can anyone administer mind-altering drugs to children whose brains aren't even fully formed, yet?...Not to mention the fact that there hadn't been any studies on the long-term effects of these drugs when they first started pushing them...NOW they know that most of this crap causes homicidal and suicidal urges...But, I guess that's okay as long as the kids stay quiet and out of the way until they lose their minds...


They load their kids up with this shit, then they wonder why their kids' brains are scrambled and they're into drugs when they become teenagers.....Give me a break...


Damn...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to go off on a tangent AND rant...But, this shit pisses me off way more than I can express...I have kids, and there is no way in fucking HELL that I would allow someone to fuck with my kids' heads that way!:mad: :mad:

OH...And I have YET to see or even HEAR of a kid that's more hyper than EITHER of mine....Fuck that bullshit...

[Yellow Jacket]

originally posted by bloodrayne
Yeah...I'm getting a little sick of that shit...

So, let's see...Your kid is hyper, can't sit still, doesn't pay attention to the things he/she isn't interested in, has a short attention span...Well, that's probably because your kid is...A KID!!!

Does every adult forget that WE were ALL this way when WE were kids?!!!

I'd be concerned if my kid WASN'T hyper, had no energy, was docile and quiet...

Turning healthy, NORMAL kids into drugged up zombies doesn't sound to me like the awesome solution everyone else seems to think it is

How can anyone administer mind-altering drugs to children whose brains aren't even fully formed, yet?...Not to mention the fact that there hadn't be any studies on the long-term effects of these drugs when they first started pushing them...NOW they know that most of this crap causes homicidal and suicidal urges...But, I guess that's okay as long as the kids stay quiet and out of the way until they lose their minds...

They load their kids up with this shit, then they wonder why their kids' brains are scrambled and they're into drugs when they become teenagers.....Give me a break...

Damn...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to go off on a tangent AND rant...But, this shit pisses me off way more than I can express...I have kids, and there is no way in fucking HELL that I would allow someone to fuck with my kids' heads that way!

OH...And I have YET to see or even HEAR of a kid that's more hyper than EITHER of mine....Fuck that bullshit...

Agree with u all the way with u on that one!

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by urgeok

the other thing that would destroy me is if he didnt like me ..

Well you can probably vouch for this, but... it's gonna happen, if only for a while. Once he hits 16, you're gonna be the enemy. I went through the same thing when I got there, my dad didn't understand me, he wasn't cool, he wouldn't leave me and my friends alone...

I know it made the guy feel bad, if I could take back those years I would. But if I have a son (God forbid I have children) he'll probably do the same damn thing.

[Tat2]

Originally posted by urgeok
not to jump to his defence - it can be a bitch of a job ..

i had a night of frustration myself with my 4 year old at baseball tonight ..

wouldnt listen to me or the coach - went nuts the whole game - and ended the night by hitting the coaches son in the mouth with an aluminum baseball bat. (it was an accident but still - the kids mouth is bleeding)

all the time you keep wondering - what the fuck am i doing wrong ?

I'm not defending him either, just parents in general.

Parenting is harder than hell. Now try step-parenting! You will definately get to a whole new level of migraines, high blood pressure, gray hairs and random thought of jumping out of a basement window to your death!

No one raises their kids the same. It's a bitch of a job, but its one that no self respecting parent can say "fuck-you...I quit!" to. You gotta take the good with the bad, and so far, my experience in parenting says the 3-4 age range and the 16-18 year range are the ranges that makes your head throb the most. Now, for those of you wondering...add live-in step kids that have been partially raised in a different way, under different sets of morals and rules to that equasion and you have the makings of a nucular weapon! Trust me, I know!

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by Tat2
add live-in step kids that have been partially raised in a different way, under different sets of morals and rules to that equasion and you have the makings of a nucular weapon! Trust me, I know! OMG!!!...I'm living it RIGHT NOW!!!...Only this one is 5 years old...How in the HELL do you make them listen to you, and WHAT in the hell do you do when their real parent just has a 'talk' with them EVERY day about their behavior, and really does nothing else, even though THAT obviously isn't working?...

Neither of my kids have EVER hit another kid, and this one is very physically aggressive...He hits, kicks, scratches, bites and spits on my kids...So, When he does it, I tell him to go to his room until his dad comes home...Then, when his dad comes home from work, I tell him what happened while he was at work (It's ALWAYS one of the things I've just mentioned, or a couple of them), and he asks him, "Why did you do that?"...The kid says, "I don't know"...His dad says, "Haven't you been told not to do that?"...The kid says, "I forgot"...So, his dad tells him, "Don't do it again"...And that's it, until the next day, when we get to do it ALL over again...

I know he's only 5, but my kids were 5 once, too, so I KNOW kids don't HAVE to do that shit...And the fact that he does these things to MY kids, really pisses me off....My kids know that they can't hit him back, and they would never even THINK to bite or spit on someone (that's just unbelievably disgusting)...And, I'm beginning to believe that this kid knows that mine won't hurt him back, too, and that's why he KEEPS doing it...Which pisses me off even more...*Pulls out hair!*


Damn...There I went again...A tangent AND a rant...Sheesh...BUT...At least I got that out... :D

[urgeok]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
Yeah...I'm getting a little sick of that shit...



So, let's see...Your kid is hyper, can't sit still, doesn't pay attention to the things he/she isn't interested in, has a short attention span...Well, that's probably because your kid is...A KID!!!


Does every adult forget that WE were ALL this way when WE were kids?!!!


I'd be concerned if my kid WASN'T hyper, had no energy, was docile and quiet...


Turning healthy, NORMAL kids into drugged up zombies doesn't sound to me like the awesome solution everyone else seems to think it is :rolleyes:

How can anyone administer mind-altering drugs to children whose brains aren't even fully formed, yet?...Not to mention the fact that there hadn't been any studies on the long-term effects of these drugs when they first started pushing them...NOW they know that most of this crap causes homicidal and suicidal urges...But, I guess that's okay as long as the kids stay quiet and out of the way until they lose their minds...


They load their kids up with this shit, then they wonder why their kids' brains are scrambled and they're into drugs when they become teenagers.....Give me a break...


Damn...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to go off on a tangent AND rant...But, this shit pisses me off way more than I can express...I have kids, and there is no way in fucking HELL that I would allow someone to fuck with my kids' heads that way!:mad: :mad:

OH...And I have YET to see or even HEAR of a kid that's more hyper than EITHER of mine....Fuck that bullshit...


there is no way in hell i will drug my kid .. i dont want to kill his spirit - just teach him to direct it more productively..

sure he's a kid - but he's usually the one who is always in trouble at school or daycare for not listening.

The one thing a kid HAS to do is obey - and the reaon isnt for a power trip - its for safety ..

get away from that, dont pick that up, stop right there ..
you know - the kind of things that potentially save a kids life ..

i'm also sick of the ADD thing but i'm not blind to the fact that he needs to learn to listen - immediately - or he's going to run in front of a car one day.

i'm just as sick of the parents that say 'ah they're just kids' while they chit chat with each other and their little darlings are fucking around destroying someone elses property, etc ... i also see that all the time.

there has to be a happy medium - a foundation has to be laid where the kids understand that if the parents are telling them to do something - it's for a good reason, not a frivolous one.

parenting is hard fucking work .. it takes every ounce of your energy all day every day for the first long while ..

the easy way out is to let them do what they want ..
we all know the result of that.

[newb]

Raising kids is most definitely NOT an easy job,and sometimes [ especially in a teenagers eyes ] the parent may come off as a hardass.Now i don't know jay's situation but maybe his father has to play the "tough love" card. Or maybe he's just an asshole....like i said...i don't know the situation.

[bwind22]

They got to get them hooked on pills and used to taking them at a young age. They are building a Prozac Nation, you know?

They are trying to prescribe Ridalin to every other kid on the playground. It's fucking ridiculous.

[bwind22]

Originally posted by jay o2 waster

as far as he is consirned (he has told me this) I am going to hell and there is nothing he can do about it.


If you really want to piss him off/one up him/show him that you do in fact know something about religion you should say this the next time he says that you are going to hell...


"Gee Dad... Doesn't the Bible say 'judge not, lest ye be judged first.' Hey! Does that mean you just sinned?"



You will be entertained by his reaction, I guarantee. Let me know how it goes...

[MoonLit Meadow]

Sorry to hear things are kinda messy with your dad, Jay..

Have you attempted trying to have a "normal" conversation with him though? I mean...really try...no raising your voice, or yelling...just the two of you talking and agreeing to disagree a little.

I know it may be hard, but since he doesn't seem to want to approach YOU and do it...maybe you could just approach him and be as nice as possible...just calm, and tell him that you want to talk about a few things...tell him that you know he may not agree with all of your choices, but they're your choices/mistakes to make.

However, try and listen to his points too...he's a parent...and although he may not be going about it the right way, I'm sure he really does care...and I'm sure he really does just want the best for you...just let him know that he doesn't have to be so extreme about it...that you'd rather he just have a conversation with you...not an argument. Take a little blame, but don't be afraid to let him know what hurts you too.

Just my opinion, but hope it might help some :)

[barbra]

hey jay, here is some advice from the resident dumb ass..


your dad doesn't hang out with you so he only knows what he sees and from what you put out there in this thread its not really a comforting picture. NOT saying you ARE the loser your dad thinks you are, but really as of right now, being part of THIS generation with no high school diploma, you are not going to last long unless you get lucky. Really, right now, what are you looking at? Managment at a Wendys? Its not a bad job, but if you get bumped up in the company instead of being hired into that position your sallery will be considerably less.

In my eyes pot is not a drug just illegal so I have nothing to say about that.

Joining the armed forces is not a bad idea. The airforce is a real pansey operation and they stay in hotels and not camps..

If you have the means I say move out and try your hand at the world. You'll end up apperciating your dad more and in turn he will more than likely respect you more if you do well for your self.

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by urgeok
The one thing a kid HAS to do is obey - and the reaon isnt for a power trip - its for safety ..

get away from that, dont pick that up, stop right there ..
you know - the kind of things that potentially save a kids life ..

i'm also sick of the ADD thing but i'm not blind to the fact that he needs to learn to listen - immediately - or he's going to run in front of a car one day.

i'm just as sick of the parents that say 'ah they're just kids' while they chit chat with each other and their little darlings are fucking around destroying someone elses property, etc ... i also see that all the time. I agree with this 100%...I just believe that it can be accomplished WITHOUT drugs...People have been raising kids for quite a few years before these drugs were introduced......And I wouldn't excuse bad behavior as 'he's/she's just a kid'...I've seen it and it pisses me off to no end, I would NEVER allow my kids to destroy someone else's property, or to hurt someone (which they would never have any intention of doing anyway, because that's the way they were raised) BUT...I HAVE seen people just shrug their shoulders when their kids do shit like that...It's a complete and total lack of respect, the parents who don't seem to give a shit, obviously have no respect for anyone else or their property, so it would be IMPOSSIBLE for them to teach their kids respect...

I'm saying, being hyper and not paying attention are VERY common among children...You weren't like that when YOU were a child?

My kids DO pay attention when it's a matter of safety, as you have mentioned, because I made DAMN sure those things were made perfectly clear...But, as for trying to teach them things (as in school lessons, or washing dishes, most chores) if they aren't interested, it's difficult to get them to sit and pay attention...(Even adults fall asleep in church, know what I'm sayin'?)...And THAT CAN be attributed to being a kid...

It's about how they are raised and supervised...Not what drug seems to work best...

@Urge...Your son is gonna be fine...Usually kids like him are of above average intelligence, they don't listen in class because the material usually becomes repetitive to them...Kid's wanna learn new things, not rehash all the crap they already know...They need to have their minds stimulated with more than what they are being offered...These kids can become destructive just because they get so frustrated and don't know how to vent, especially at such a young age...Most intelligent kids take things apart to see how they work, that's often viewed as being destructive, but for the child it's a learning process...I'd be willing to bet that your child is very independent, and likes to do things HIS way...You'll see when he's older that he is an intelligent person, who makes up his own mind, forms and sticks to his own opinions, and doesn't follow the crowd...

I applaud you for taking the 'non-medicated' route...All these kids really need is love, PATIENCE, understanding, discipline, and supervision...NOT drugs...