The Stupidest Infomercial EVER!

[bloodrayne]

I have seen so many, and I can't believe that so many people fall for this shit...Do they think that people who are up late at night are too sleepy and brain addled to see what kinda crap they're trying to feed them?...I actually KNOW someone who buys this crap (even though he usually ends up sending it back, after the product arrives and he can actually see UP CLOSE what kinda garbage he has bought)....I wonder how many people receive this stuff in the mail, take a look at it, and think, "How in the hell could I have fallen for such bullshit?"...It seems to me that ONE incident would be enough to teach them a lesson (if they weren't actually intelligent enough to know what a scam it was to begin with), yet some people just KEEP doing it...


So, anyway...You've all seen them...Which one do you think is the absolute worst?...Have YOU ever fallen for any of it?....C'mon, be honest ;)

[ShankS]

the ones we have, are the public service announcements, like saving water, turning of lights to save energy blah ...blah.. nothing to buy.

[Dante'sInferno]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
I have seen so many, and I can't believe that so many people fall for this shit...Do they think that people who are up late at night are too sleepy and brain addled to see what kinda crap they're trying to feed them?...I actually KNOW someone who buys this crap (even though he usually ends up sending it back, after the product arrives and he can actually see UP CLOSE what kinda garbage he has bought)....I wonder how many people receive this stuff in the mail, take a look at it, and think, "How in the hell could I have fallen for such bullshit?"...It seems to me that ONE incident would be enough to teach them a lesson (if they weren't actually intelligent enough to know what a scam it was to begin with), yet some people just KEEP doing it...


So, anyway...You've all seen them...Which one do you think is the absolute worst?...Have YOU ever fallen for any of it?....C'mon, be honest ;) :eek: i dont know why but i cant think worth a shit now...

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by Dante'sInferno
:eek: i dont know why but i cant think worth a shit now... AHA!!!...And THIS is when the infomercials are on...You see?!...They get you when you can't think!!!


:p :D

[Vodstok]

for me, it was the two-sided pancake pan. The one that was basically two silverstone frying pans connected by a hinge so that you didnt spill things when you flipped them....

They show the person burning cheese in it and "It slides right out!" No SHIT! there are 8 million non-stick products out there that do the exact same thing, with no monthly payments... Learn how to use a fucking spatula.


What kills me is the black and white "Dont you hate?" parts at the beginning of these commercials that have people doing things that a person with severe retardation would know better than to do.... Like frying eggs in a dry pan and trying to flip them with a fork...:rolleyes:


Or the commercials for that stupid chopper thing (you put it over whatever you want to chop and push down on the plunger, it spins and chops....) They have someone cutting on a board by pushing stright down with the knife and twisiting it to the side. If you cant operate a knife, you certainly should not be operating something as dangerous as a stove....


but dont worry! Ronco has a rotesserie which will make things easier for you!


and people wonder why Americans are so lazy and stupid. We have "easier" solutions for some of life's simplest acts...

[urgeok]

that guy who sprayed shit on his head to hide his bald spot..

he was stupid, his product was stupid ..

[Vodstok]

Remember the Flobie? Hook an electric shaver to a vacuum. Save money and humiliate you kid, quickly and easily.

I also always loved Chia Pet commercials. "The perfect gift for family and freinds". yeah right... Everyone i know asks for a terra-cotta hadgehog covered in alfalfa sprouts....:rolleyes:


Of course, for camp value, i have known people who recieved chia pets as gifts and loved them. Bree got me Chia Homer and Chia BArt for Christams a couple of years ago. i haven opened bart yet, but i loved homer. i should break them both out. We could use some mroe plant life in the house :D
Im so classy.....

[barbra]

the whisk/tongs look faulty

[Vodstok]

"Look! It can pick up a dime!"

"Holy shit! I've been meaning to boil my change! And now i can! No more burnt fingers for me!"

[Iniquity]

Originally posted by barbra
the whisk/tongs look faulty

*hangs head in infomercial shame*

They actually do work. lol I bought the set with the "double spatula burger flipper, soup ladel strainer and wisk/tongs"

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

Some people just suck bad in the kitchen and can use some of this stuff. I've never been able to make an omelet without it looking like shit and having cheese all over the place. Bring on the double frying pan I say.

[Vodstok]

I guess that is the secret of their success.... Pandering to the lowest common denominator (no offense).


I think the funniest infomercial product ever was the frigging pad that was supposed to shock your muscles into getting tone... I believe they got sued and the FCC shut them down :D

[ChEEbA]

I saw a live presentation something like an infomercial at a kmart
here, I was lured by the offer of a free knife, watched the demo, and...ended up buying an excellent package containing an assortment of those crazy-ass superknives, quite cheaply.
Their claims were true, the knives have not yet blunted after about 3 months of heavy use, can cut through almost anything you'd wanna cut, and even some things you wouldn't (yourself).
Same condition as new.
Best knives EVER.

I have PONDERED the rotissierie...but I think that's all it will come to.

[Vodstok]

Consumer Whore!

:D

[ChEEbA]

With knives...:D

[Vodstok]

Ha! :)

I seriously feel like i am betraying some anti-mainstream god if i even consider any of those things... Like i have somehow sold out and will be cast of from my self-righteous flock for merely thingking they arent benath me. i have some pretty stupid issues.

[filmmaker2]

Go ahead, BUY! Buy, and join all the media sluts. Buy your plastic thingamawhatses. All my kitchen utensils are made out of PAPER and are BIODEGRADABLE. All of my DVDs are made out of PAPER!!

[barbra]

Originally posted by Iniquity
*hangs head in infomercial shame*

They actually do work. lol I bought the set with the "double spatula burger flipper, soup ladel strainer and wisk/tongs" now, does the laddle really help out. Does it do something that you coulnd't do for yourself before? The spatula, however, might be handy when grilling. Extra wide tongs. oh yeah, and do you use the whisk/tongs more for the whisking function or for the tongs?

[Iniquity]

Originally posted by barbra
now, does the laddle really help out. Does it do something that you coulnd't do for yourself before? The spatula, however, might be handy when grilling. Extra wide tongs. oh yeah, and do you use the whisk/tongs more for the whisking function or for the tongs?

depending on appetite the laddle actually does help out, sometimes I like broth and sometimes I dont, if Im making greenbeans, potatoes and ham together, I might save the broth for the next batch, and freeze it.

the spatula is the shit for turning burgers, getting a slice of pizza etc.

sadly I only use the whiskatongs as a whisk more than anything.

[Vodstok]

i have 3 whisks... im a whiskophile.

I have a silicone spatula. its the only type i will ever buy, it is the greatest thing on earth.

As are my nice, long metal tongs :)

[filmmaker2]

I christen thee, Count Spatula.

[barbra]

Im with Cheeba, Im all about the knife. The other night at work I actually had to show some one how to use a steal to sharpen their blades. They had never even used a whetstone!!! Jesus Fucking Christ, thats like being a writter and not knowing how to use a pen.

[Iniquity]

*hangs head even lower in informercial purchase shame*

I also have purchased:

Tanning Bed *broken*

A RONCO Rotissierie *broken*

A Scunci (sp) Steamer *used it for about a year cleaning my cars, steaming engines, even worked great for steaming out fouled powder in rifles, but alas it too is broken*

*resisted urge to buy Elvis collector plates* phew.......

[ItsAlive75]

There was an informercial for an outdoor bouncing pit that was trying EVERYTHING to sell the stupid product.

"With the bouncing pit, you'll know EXACTLY where your child is! He won't be running into the street or talking to strangers!"

"It's so light! If you use it indoors, you can literally lift it up and vaccuum under it!"

"The bouncing pit is so safe! You could literally unload this shotgun INTO the bouncing pit, and your child would come out almost UNHARMED!"

[Gren the cake]

a HA! i finally thought of one

only cuz ive spent many a sleepless night watchig these craps. i rreally like the food ones, just cuz.. well its food!

anyone seen those ones about those thermal pots? i always wondered about those

ANYWAY. i got lazy and right now am heating up a queadilla in the microwave(ghetto fabulous) when i remembered wbout the 'magic bullet'

its basically like a coffee grinder, slightly bigger, the idea being u can grind ur food in it super fast. making salsa, chicken salad, guacamole, etc etc.

'make your food in 5 seconds time, dont bust out that bulky blender or chop everything by hand!'

jackasses.. u hafto CUT and PEEL everything before u stick it in the machine. that and of course its gonna eb powerful, the damn blades are as big as the bowl itself (as opposed to a blender, the blades ar at the bottom and theres all that xtra space)

anyway.. they put cheese, tomatoes, peppers and chicken together and bledned it. then the stuck it in 2 tortillas and put it in the microwave. but when theyt ook it out, the damn thing had grill marks on it!

GRRRRRRRRRR :mad:

[Vodstok]

Wasnt "Magic Bullet" also a name for a silver vibrator? I believe i once saw an add for one in "Hustler: Busty Beauties" several years ago. How embarrasing that would be? Getting sued by a dildo company for copyright infringement....

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
ANYWAY. i got lazy and right now am heating up a queadilla in the microwave(ghetto fabulous) when i remembered wbout the 'magic bullet'

its basically like a coffee grinder, slightly bigger, the idea being u can grind ur food in it super fast. making salsa, chicken salad, guacamole, etc etc.

'make your food in 5 seconds time, dont bust out that bulky blender or chop everything by hand!' I actually saw this one last night...How can it be touted as something 'new'?...We've had these things since the 50's...We call them 'blenders' :rolleyes:

[urgeok]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
I actually saw this one last night...How can it be touted as something 'new'?...We've had these things since the 50's...We call them 'blenders' :rolleyes:


sounds like those old meat grinders olf folks had - they attach to the end of the table and you feed meat into in and it comes out in these long worms ...

great devices - hard to clean ..

actually dont they have one in one of the monty python credit sequences ?

and in The Wall ..

(apparently the british like these things :)

[bloodrayne]

So, any new ones?...I haven't watched television in FOREVER...You guys still laughing at these stupid things?...Does it seem that there are more now, or less than there were about a year ago?...You guys actually FALLING for any of them? ;)

[stubbornforgey]

those damned workout machines..sheesh..
natural glow and the godammned george foreman ovens.
I hate that 'but wait'..order now and you'll receive another set absolutely free..
thats right..and you'll also receive a set of ginseng knives'
SO CALL NOW'..'rolls her eyes'

[crabapple]

Well HEY...did anyone ever order crap out of a cheesy comic book ad? I did once. They were selling hot pepper gum, onion gum, bloody gum and pucker gum. For 65 cents I could get a couple of sticks of each. So I ordered that along with a squirt ring or something like that. Mailed them some coins taped to a piece of paper. After a million years my crap comes in the mail in a battered envelope. There's a bunch of loose sticks of gum in there. The bloody gum is the only one I can identify because it's actually BLOOD RED and wouldn't fool anyone if you gave it to them. The other ones tasted odd but were not the nightmares described in the ad.

I remember one feller at school said "Give me one of those bloody gums!" so I gave it to him and he chewed it up and deliberately went around drooling this bloody gunk all over the schoolyard. He eventually became a stuntman. True story!

[Haunted]

Oxiclean, if only because the fucking announcer/inventor is absolutely the most annoying person on the planet. He must have that "voice emodulation" thing that Will Farrel always tooled on during his SNL days. The products are fair as far the bathroom cleaners are concerned, but the powder would best be served to lace cocain (says Heather who knows nothing about lacing cocain:rolleyes: ).

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

Wow, old thread. :D

Oh well, I want to know something anyway. Why is it that whenever I try to flip an omelet the spatula come up through the omelet and I'm left with big shreds of eggs and cheese all over the pan?

I need to buy that double drying pan big time, vodstok. :D

[Haunted]

I'm no omlette miestro, but I know a thing or two:

1. You've got to cook it slowly (VERY IMPORTANT)
2. You've got to have enough oil, not too much, but enough to coat your pan. It helps if your pan has a nonstick coating.
3. You've got to let your egg cook enough to become fluffy and sort of lift itself from the pan. You can test this very gently with your spatula.
4. When it starts becoming done, that's when you pile on your cheese and whatever else you like.
5. Gently fold each side.
6. Let it cook for just a little longer...just a little
7. Then gently flip it.

It may take you a couple of tries, but that's how I learned.

(For practical care, don't wash your nice nonstick coated pans in the dishwasher. Wash them in nice warm dish soapy water. It keeps the coating from flaking, it keeps the nonstick properties from "dying," and it's just propper maintenance).

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

ahh

I guess being a very impatient person doesn't help. :p

[Kemal]

Head on: apply directly to the forehead!

Head on: apply directly to the forehead!

Head on: apply directly to the forehead!

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

Head on: apply directly to the forehead!

Head on: apply directly to the forehead!

Head on: apply directly to the forehead!

hahahaha yes

http://youtube.com/watch?v=IXl0uym-U5k

and

http://youtube.com/watch?v=jLBrswIju1Y&mode=related&search=

[Haunted]

You know, Kemal, you could've just mentioned the "Head On" commercial and not walked us through it's inanity. You sadistic...:D

[Roderick Usher]

Anyone remember the "inside the eggshell scrambler"?

It allowed you to scramble the egg...INSIDE THE SHELL!

Take that, Vod - no whisk needed. Ron Popeil is a genius.

[bloodrayne]

Ron Popeil is a genius.Haha...Wasn't that the guy that was hawking those round storage containers that 'stretched', so you could make them as big or as little as you needed them, a couple of years ago?

Those were goofy...I could always imagine something liquid being in there, and one of the kids dropping it, or it falls out of the fridge and gets smashed into it's original shape, the lid pops off, it erupts...What a mess

[Haunted]

Remember that show Amazing Discoveries, which would always feature those dudes from England selling car wax that you could put on your car, set it on fire, and wipe away the damage? Those were fun at 3am.

I also remember the Southern chick selling all of that crafty bullshit like the little gun that allowed you to put rinestones on everything, and her faux stained glass kit. REDNECK!!! People like that make the South look tacky...tacky-er, rather.

[stubbornforgey]

Anyone remember the "inside the eggshell scrambler"?

It allowed you to scramble the egg...INSIDE THE SHELL!

Take that, Vod - no whisk needed. Ron Popeil is a genius.


ooh ooh ..'jumps around'

i remember that!!LOL

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bc-j8uSUs7I

[heebiejeebies]

There are two infomercials that always are good for a laugh or two or three for me.

1. There's the keychain recorder that lets you record mini-messages like grocery lists, where you parked your car, Grandma's phone number, etc. I always get a kick out of the girl who records her homework assignment in class...while sitting with a notebook and pencil right in front of her. My mom and I laugh that you can use the second one (they send it FREE!!!!) to record where you put the other one you paid for.:D

2. There's this way to make $100 and $500 checks that's so easy it can be explained to you in seven minutes if you call the toll-free number. Here are all the ordinary people...just like YOU...who made thousands doing this easy thing. The kicker is that during the entire informercial the perky hostess never explains what it is you have to do. Of course, when you find out how easy it is you'll wish you'd done it 10 years ago. (If you've seen it you'll get the humor in that last statement. She only says that 5,000 times.)

[Roderick Usher]

Haha...Wasn't that the guy that was hawking those round storage containers that 'stretched', so you could make them as big or as little as you needed them, a couple of years ago?


Yeah, but he made his first million off the Popeil Pocket Fisherman, a compact fishing rod (that worked really well - I had one as a kid.) He also had the device that cut glass bottles into drinking glasses, the five-tray food dehydrator, the Popeil Pasta Make and dozens more...

He practically invented the infomercial and is the founder of Ronco

[Haunted]

He practically invented the infomercial and is the founder of Ronco

DiDi 7!!! That shit didn't work. As fruitless as powdered OxiClean.

[VampiricClown]

That Damn 'Head On' One!!!

[The_Return]

That Damn 'Head On' One!!!

That my friend is a commercial, not an infomercial:)

[crabapple]

Back in the early 90's there was this guy named Tom Voo and he did these get-rich real estate foreclosure seminars. He had this perfect system for identifying properties and turning them over for huge checks. There were several other infomercials selling the same type of thing but Voo's were different in that he would film scenes of himself sitting on a yacht surrounded by beautiful women, all in bikinis...he would show you his beautiful home and his six-car garage...and then he would say something like, "What's it gonna be my friend?? Are you gonna slave away at your job and be NOTHING, or are you gonna take control of your life? If you don't take this chance now and purchase my patented moneymaking plan, you deserve to be BROKE, my friend! You deserve...to be broke!" And then he would drive away in one of his expensive cars, leaving you in the dust and misery of your own normal life.

We used to all sit around watching his infomercials because they were very entertaining.

[VampiricClown]

That my friend is a commercial, not an infomercial:)

Yep, because they give you all the info from the mmercial that you need in the 45 seconds allowed for this horrid thing. lol