p00p

[Gren the cake]

when you shit, do you look at the paper?

and to all the motherfuckers who dont - how do you know when to stop wiping?

as for me, im asian. they dont really use toilet paper in the philippines, theyr bathrooms r a little different, so basically you just wash every time. so, i wash (unless of course, im in a public restroom. and in that case yeh, if i just hafto shit, u better believe i use the whole roll of paper)

:( i hate public restrooms.

[urgeok]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
when you shit, do you look at the paper?

and to all the motherfuckers who dont - how do you know when to stop wiping?

as for me, im asian. they dont really use toilet paper in the philippines, theyr bathrooms r a little different, so basically you just wash every time. so, i wash (unless of course, im in a public restroom. and in that case yeh, if i just hafto shit, u better believe i use the whole roll of paper)

:( i hate public restrooms.

i didnt think girls shit ??!!

i thought they just woke up in the morning and there would be a neatly wrapped perfumed little box with a ribbon around it that they would put in the garbage..

[DraculaInDallas]

Originally posted by urgeok
i didnt think girls shit ??!!

i thought they just woke up in the morning and there would be a neatly wrapped perfumed little box with a ribbon around it that they would put in the garbage..


LMAO!!!!!! :D

[Gren the cake]

no.... we defiitely shit. but uve got part of it right. women's day carries these supplements that make our turds smell like cinnamon apple muffins.

[barbra]

its all in the wipe. take care of your brown eye.
after drinking captin all night or dark beer, the next day it might take a little more to wipe, but a whole roll is a little unnecessary and a tad bit wasteful if you ask me. I think your people got the right idea, wash it everytime, no imbarrasing oders there ;) oh yeah and I can poop anywhere, the more public the better, especially if I have gas, oh and girls have gas, they don't just reach a certain age and explode. Dutch ovens can go both ways..

[DraculaInDallas]

Originally posted by barbra
its all in the wipe. take care of your brown eye.
after drinking captin all night or dark beer, the next day it might take a little more to wipe, but a whole roll is a little unnecessary and a tad bit wasteful if you ask me. I think your people got the right idea, wash it everytime, no imbarrasing oders there ;) oh yeah and I can poop anywhere, the more public the better, especially if I have gas, oh and girls have gas, they don't just reach a certain age and explode. Dutch ovens can go both ways..

LMAO!!!!! Barbra you're a classic!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

[The STE]

I take these drugs, I inject them into my spine, that enhances my metabolism so that it naturally burns away all my waste. No bathrooms

[ShankS]

a woman with a funky chocolate starfish, is deffo no go during oral, and besides woman do stinkier shits than men, especially first thing before a shower.

[DraculaInDallas]

Originally posted by ShankS
a woman with a funky chocolate starfish, is deffo no go during oral, and besides woman do stinkier shits than men, especially first thing before a shower.

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!! :D

[urgeok]

Originally posted by ShankS
a woman with a funky chocolate starfish, is deffo no go during oral, and besides woman do stinkier shits than men, especially first thing before a shower.

chocolate starfish !! jesus christ ! hahha

are these UK sayings or just Shanks-isms ? !!

[barbra]

steamed poo (http://poetry.rotten.com/five-foot-long/) comes to mind

[barbra]

Originally posted by urgeok
chocolate starfish !! jesus christ ! hahha

are these UK sayings or just Shanks-isms ? !! you never heard chocolate starfish before?? geez..

[ShankS]

Originally posted by urgeok
chocolate starfish !! jesus christ ! hahha

are these UK sayings or just Shanks-isms ? !!

heard the saying years ago and more recently one of Limp Bizkit's albums, 'Chocolate Starfish And The Hot Dog Flavored Water'

[Gren the cake]

if im at a public restroom, ill easily go through a whole roll. no, not one of the ones thats 3 feet in diametes. but ya nkow, the regular roll.

im really not about waste, but im paranoid. thing is, even before i sit my ass down i use about half the roll - grabbing some paper to knock the latch, some more paper to put on the hook so that i can hang my purse/jacket, a ton more wiping down the seat, a ton more LINING the seat (whats the point of lining it when theres water/piss on it already?).. and yeh, ill use the actually toilet liners IF they have them

also, some of the damn toilet paper goes by so fast, especially that 2 ply shit. i like it yeh, but they get all quilted and what not and all it is really is half the paper and twice the air. i dont need air to wipe my ass, i need toilet tissue

but yeh. its a pain in the ass at home or at my bfs, when i take a shit then i hafto take my pants and undies and socks off, hop into the shower, wash off, towel dry then put all my clothes on everytime. but the silky fresh feeling is soooo worth it

i guess baby wipes r ok too. but im not realy into that weird lotiony feeling. its likea cheating kinda fresh. ya know, like instead of brushing ur teeth, just using mouhtwash, or popping in a mint... just not the same

[urgeok]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
if im at a public restroom, ill easily go through a whole roll. no, not one of the ones thats 3 feet in diametes. but ya nkow, the regular roll.

im really not about waste, but im paranoid. thing is, even before i sit my ass down i use about half the roll - grabbing some paper to knock the latch, some more paper to put on the hook so that i can hang my purse/jacket, a ton more wiping down the seat, a ton more LINING the seat (whats the point of lining it when theres water/piss on it already?).. and yeh, ill use the actually toilet liners IF they have them

also, some of the damn toilet paper goes by so fast, especially that 2 ply shit. i like it yeh, but they get all quilted and what not and all it is really is half the paper and twice the air. i dont need air to wipe my ass, i need toilet tissue

but yeh. its a pain in the ass at home or at my bfs, when i take a shit then i hafto take my pants and undies and socks off, hop into the shower, wash off, towel dry then put all my clothes on everytime. but the silky fresh feeling is soooo worth it

i guess baby wipes r ok too. but im not realy into that weird lotiony feeling. its likea cheating kinda fresh. ya know, like instead of brushing ur teeth, just using mouhtwash, or popping in a mint... just not the same

do what i do when i'm at someone elses house ... i use their toothbrush for a good vigorous scrub in those hard to get places.

and if you use their toothpaste as well, you get a minty fresh ass.

[Haphazard]

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! This has got to be the funniest post I've ever seen...lol!

I saw the title of the thread...and STILL didn't think it could be about a chick talking about droppin duces, and her method of wiping. lol!

[Gren the cake]

great idea except knowing my luck ill accidentally use my own toothbrush :(

so i was at my bfs and his sister stole my toothpaste. im thinkin 'fine, ill just use hers' and im brushing and it tasted like chocolate.. turns out it was some 'vanilla expressions' type shit. UGH!! NASTINESS!!

:(. hmmm, guess THAT would be an appropriate one for my booty??

[urgeok]

it's definately the most educational post so far.
you just dont get this good stuff in school.



speaking of which .. the scene with the 'diahrea twins' in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle was kind of funny ...

beautiful girls playing 'battleshits' completely turning off two horny guys

[DraculaInDallas]

Originally posted by urgeok
do what i do when i'm at someone elses house ... i use their toothbrush for a good vigorous scrub in those hard to get places.

and if you use their toothpaste as well, you get a minty fresh ass.

ahahahahahahahahahahaha LMFAO!!!!!!!! :D

[urgeok]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
great idea except knowing my luck ill accidentally use my own toothbrush :(

so i was at my bfs and his sister stole my toothpaste. im thinkin 'fine, ill just use hers' and im brushing and it tasted like chocolate.. turns out it was some 'vanilla expressions' type shit. UGH!! NASTINESS!!

:(. hmmm, guess THAT would be an appropriate one for my booty??


a good chomp from my teeth would be appropriate for your fine bootie !

[Gren the cake]

Originally posted by Haphazard
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! This has got to be the funniest post I've ever seen...lol!

I saw the title of the thread...and STILL didn't think it could be about a chick talking about droppin duces, and her method of wiping. lol!
and it gets worse....

but i think ill keep it clean for now. im not sure HDC is ready to handle it.

anyway, when it comes to hygiene, especially bathrooms, i have a LOT to say. this isnt my first toilet related thread..

... and most likely wont be my last ;)

most bathrooms = My ultimate horror

[Gren the cake]

Originally posted by urgeok
a good chomp from my teeth would be appropriate for your fine bootie !
does it matter whether i wash or wipe first?????

or would u rather just DIIIIIVE right in?? ^_^ freaka!

[barbra]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
and it gets worse....
tell your boyfriend to take it easy? Maybe you should change your diet.

[Gren the cake]

no, i eat pretty healthy. so does he (thanks to me)

but i will say. brown rice is really hard to shit out. its so healthy for you, all the fiber i guess.. but ya, that is REEEEEEAL hard to shit out :(.

thats why i havent had any in a while.

[barbra]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
no, i eat pretty healthy. so does he (thanks to me)

but i will say. brown rice is really hard to shit out. its so healthy for you, all the fiber i guess.. but ya, that is REEEEEEAL hard to shit out :(.

thats why i havent had any in a while. oh no! you can't poop!? thats horrible. I thought fiber was suppose to help you poop. maybe you should lube it up before it goes in your belly ;)

[Gren the cake]

fiber is supposed to clean out ur intestines. so i think thats what the rice was doing, pretty much scraping the inside of me

seriously, i think i had real hard shits for 3 days. i think that whole day i had maybe 1 cup of rice total??? but yeh, i mean they ewere healthy poops, i checked... just hard thats all. my butt didnt bleed or anything

i think ill stick to oatmeal.. but theres not as much fun stuff that i can do with oatmeal than with rice.

anyway, sometimes if i have a hard time pooping, i eat a whole bunch of peanut butter.. hows THAT for l00b.?

[barbra]

well, I guess as long as your not ripping your rectum and your poo isnt really dark or anything. Are you about to bleed? I get a little consipated before my vagina starts to leak.

[Gren the cake]

No, i have a couple weeks before that one. But now that u mention it, i cant really remember. so im gonna try and pay attention this time around

shit, maybe ill even give it its own thread!!!!!

[barbra]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
No, i have a couple weeks before that one. But now that u mention it, i cant really remember. so im gonna try and pay attention this time around

shit, maybe ill even give it its own thread!!!!! awesome, Ive made coworkers vomit (actually only one, but many stopped eating) talking about my period, what it feels like and how I imagine my inards are looking. the more graphic the better. oh yeah, if you would like some more useless knowledge about the female body, there is suppose to be a pressure point in your ankle, right above your heel (you know.. the ankle :rolleyes:) if you massage that its suppose to let loose the dam so to speak.

[Tat2]

28 replies and 127 views....to POOP!

Damn, what a crowd! Gotta love bathroom humor. I wish I knew where my copy of "Joels Journal And Fart Filled Fact Book" was now.

And yes Women do shit and fart...just not until you marry one...then it all comes out!!!! Tricky little shits aren't they!

[Gren the cake]

i dont really see why people get so grossed out about his kinda stuff.. i mean, maybe if i was talking about mutilating people, but im merely talkin bodily functions.. something id hope most people would be pretty familiar with.

i tend to take a lot of aspirin when im on my period (cramps). iheard thats a bad thing from someone, but now that i think about it... well thing is my bf is a nurse (sexy, i know). and he even said that it may be ag ood idea cuz it thins the blood,, reducing clotting. I noticed that i dont ever really get those bulbous, fleshy blood what nots coming out anymore.. know what im sayin? i cant imagine that being a bad thing.

also, u better believe that when im on my period i wash. i wash up a storm, and u better believe i wash when im on my period AND i take a shit.

above the ankle huh???? hmmmm.. does it work if you do it on urself?

[Gren the cake]

to the women.... wel to the men too, i guess it depends all on how you phrase it

I think its OK for a guy to fart, but how about a girl? my bf, when we first met, wouldnt ever fart. i thought somethign was wrong with him. then i finally asked him 'why dont u ever fart' and weve had many discussions and he told me that when id leave hed be so happy cuz he'd finally get to fart. also, sometims he'd get up to go potty when really all he wanted to do was fart.

anyway, i really dont care about farting, but for me, i really dont like to fart. its not an issue of being gross or not, not that im the type to fart at the table or anyt hing.

i know its just a realease of gas, and i do that while im on the toilet. my fear is that if im outside, maybe walking around, or just laying in bed, and want to lay a fart like any other person does, that a solid will come out. i guess im just not confident in my bowel control :(

anyway.. its been 3 months or so and ive yet to fart in front of him. oh yeh, when i DO fart (on the toilet), its not really a fart, its usu aly just air releasing. I think cuz i dont push hard enough for it to make a sound.

[barbra]

Ive never had a problem with my period, but my friend does it, works for her, I tried it and I think my uterus was tingling.

I don't know why people get so grossed out either. Everyone shits, all women with the exception of .6% are going to bleed between their legs, the rest have problems.

I like ibuprofrin when Im bleeding, and I like to drink heavly as well. I don't get blood clots anymore either. when I first starting getting my period I like to look in the tolet, after I pissed in the morning, to watch the blood get washed from my bush. Not that Im nasty people, just when your young tampons are a little scary and when your sleeping and wearing a pad blood is gonna get in that bush.

[urgeok]

for once .. i'm speechless (beyong writing that i'm speechless)

[Gren the cake]

once, i had a tampon and i accidentally pulled it out of the applicator. I think i was just trying to put it away, and i wanst on my period

so I had a bowl of water and i stuck it in.. holy shit. u ever seen those little animals u put in warm water and they grow? well those things take like half an hour, this thing just went FOOTFOOOTFOOTFOOTFOOOT! reall fast! its really neat looking!

but maybe it depends on the different brands,, but yeh!!! ^_^ just something fun to do i guess.

[barbra]

tampon applicators make great pipes, after you've used the wrapper for a paper.
tampax was there;)

[newb]

How nice....a bodily function thread.








http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v259/rockinmule/poopy.gif









http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v259/rockinmule/peeing.gif

[Gren the cake]

Originally posted by urgeok
for once .. i'm speechless (beyong writing that i'm speechless)
so how you like my booty now???? ^_^
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v65/fluffho/biteme1poop.bmp
might i add.. thats my VERY own poop pic. i woke up and my doggy had left it for me!

[urgeok]

oh dear god ...

well ... give it a bit of a wash .. i'll still bite it.

someone has to !

[Gren the cake]

a HA! so washing IS better than wiping!

<~may be the cleanest bitch in all of HDC

[urgeok]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
a HA! so washing IS better than wiping!

<~may be the cleanest bitch in all of HDC

after seeing a pic of a big dog turd rubbing up against it ... yeah .. washing is a definate must in this case ,

[barbra]

and thats how urgeok learned about chocolate starfish...

[Gren the cake]

wait a fuckin minute.. if choc starfish is poop, then what the fuck is hot dog flavored water????

........... sexy time juices?

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

http://photobucket.com/albums/v721/cirquemacabre/vagbooger.jpg (http://www.vegasguide.com/showpic/pauly-shore.jpg)

this thread moved to fast.

[barbra]

maybe its enima runoff, I thought chocolate starfish was the actual ass hole

[filmmaker2]

Well, this is all very well and good, people. I am happy to see that there is a whole thread devoted to poopy. You probably remember a thread I started called "The Truth About Werewolves" which sorta dealt with the actual, real-world, honest-to-gosh reasons why werewolves are so frightening to people, and I think that that original post was at that time a little bit ahead of its time. But seeing as how everyone has caught up, so to speak, here is the original essay:

**********************************

I wanted to talk about werewolves for a second, because I've noticed a lot of people are interested in them and I wanted to share my research.

Most people know that bipedal werewolves like Lon Chaney, Jr. never existed in real life. Real werewolves run on all fours, and furthermore they all run backwards.

This is for two reasons. First, running backwards makes it difficult for anything to sneak up behind them because they're always looking back there. Second, this allows them to aim their frontal defense in the direction they're going in. Yes, I am talking about their rear ends--their butts. Did you know that a werewolf's butt is pretty much the only part of it that's not covered with shaggy, matted hair??

Contrary to popular belief, werewolves don't bite, slash or maul humans. They attack with their turd-launching systems. If a werewolf detects an undesireable human walking through the woods, they will usually launch a moist, spongy, rather fibrous turd out of their behind at the offensive human. This is aided by the unusually streamlined intestines of the lycanthrope, which allow the poo to be ejected at high speed. If you're standing anywhere within fifty feet, look out! It'll get you. In fact one of the oldest words for "werewolf" is the Norse "poo-kannone," which roughly translated means turd launcher. If you are unlucky enough to be in a forest with werewolves, keep your ears open for the "foop! foop!" sound, which means a nasty lycanthrope is in the vicinity.

Anyway, the high fiber content of the werewolf's poo poo is clear proof that they are not primarily meat eaters, they are all too happy to chew on roots, twigs and trees, and from time to time they swallow big handfuls of dirt to cleanse their digestive tract.

[Gren the cake]

well, this is probably most likely directed to barbra, as she would probably be the only one with the balls to answer (that and... seems like she doesnt give a shit)

anyway... you ever shit so big, u cant believe it all came out of you? not necesssarily a LOT of shit, but i literally mean, a fatty log?

[ShankS]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
well, this is probably most likely directed to barbra, as she would probably be the only one with the balls to answer (that and... seems like she doesnt give a shit)

anyway... you ever shit so big, u cant believe it all came out of you? not necesssarily a LOT of shit, but i literally mean, a fatty log?

I do some big ones that wont flush, they block the ubend and the toilet floods the bathroom... so now I just shit in the bath, because the bath overflow hole drains all the excess water away, when the turd gets stuck in the plughole pipe, when I shower.

[Gren the cake]

sometimes it looks like my poop wont flush, but i guess my toilet is strong enough that it breaks it into little pieces.

i dont think ive ever pooped in the shower. well, maybe when i was a baby..

[slasherman]

Originally posted by urgeok
do what i do when i'm at someone elses house ... i use their toothbrush for a good vigorous scrub in those hard to get places.


..and you send them a picture... a couple of days later...:)...thank God for the photo-cellphone

[ShankS]

here's a prank, get a roll of clear sandwich sellophane from the supermarket, and on you way back home, visit the public toilets, lift up the seats and pull a tight layer of sellophane over the toilets, then replace the seat and leave....

.... if someone pisses it sprays back, they get soggy pants, and a shit looks like it's floating in the air and they get shitty buttocks.

[slasherman]

:rolleyes: ...or that old trick........fill a newspaper full of shit...place it outside your neighbours door...set it on fire and ring the doorbell..

[barbra]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
well, this is probably most likely directed to barbra, as she would probably be the only one with the balls to answer (that and... seems like she doesnt give a shit)

anyway... you ever shit so big, u cant believe it all came out of you? not necesssarily a LOT of shit, but i literally mean, a fatty log? oh yeah sometimes, and everyone here does as well (except sam). I like pooing after I've eaten a lot of spinach

[Gren the cake]

I guess this would generally be directed towards the men.....

when you go to the potty and you see a turd, do you flush it, or do u try and break it in half with ur pee stream?

and if u try and break it in half, and u run out of pee before it does completely, does it piss you off?

[urgeok]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
I guess this would generally be directed towards the men.....

when you go to the potty and you see a turd, do you flush it, or do u try and break it in half with ur pee stream?

and if u try and break it in half, and u run out of pee before it does completely, does it piss you off?


flush .. who the hell wants to stare at someone elses floater ..

only a girl would have asked this .... sigh.


scratch that ... only Gren would have asked that ...


weido !

:p

[Gren the cake]

:( i cant take all the credit

i was having a poo discussion with my bf, and he mentioned that to me. he personally always cuts it in half, and gets really really mad if he runs out of pee before it finishes. so he'll flush it and make sure he sees it break.

i think ive found my soulmate!

[urgeok]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
:( i cant take all the credit

i was having a poo discussion with my bf, and he mentioned that to me. he personally always cuts it in half, and gets really really mad if he runs out of pee before it finishes. so he'll flush it and make sure he sees it break.

i think ive found my soulmate!

yes, you're both crazy .. get married and move to a remote island immediately :)

[X¤MurderDoll¤X]

Originally posted by urgeok
yes, you're both crazy .. get married and move to a remote island immediately :)

Agreed. :p

[Gren the cake]

what makes u think i wont have a puter @ this island???

^_^

[urgeok]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
what makes u think i wont have a puter @ this island???

^_^

thats ok .. go online all you want .. i just dont think you guys should raise children in civilization ..

(where playing with poop is unfortunately still deemed rude and unsanitary !!! :D )

[Gren the cake]

well, i wasnt exactly planning on having kids anyway. but now im tempted to have 11 kids, just to spite you ^_^

and ill make sure i bring em to the zoo a lot
'Lets do what the monkeys do!!'

from http://www.u.arizona.edu/~rsotelo/monkey2.html
"Monkeys are born without a defense mechanism. Therefore they must resort to flinging poo to defend themselves against predators and other cannibalistic monkeys. A recent study on monkey poo flinging shows that 95% of all monkeys fling their own poo, while only 5% fling other monkeys poo"

a HA! so there is a reason!

[urgeok]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
well, i wasnt exactly planning on having kids anyway. but now im tempted to have 11 kids, just to spite you ^_^

and ill make sure i bring em to the zoo a lot
'Lets do what the monkeys do!!'

from http://www.u.arizona.edu/~rsotelo/monkey2.html
"Monkeys are born without a defense mechanism. Therefore they must resort to flinging poo to defend themselves against predators and other cannibalistic monkeys. A recent study on monkey poo flinging shows that 95% of all monkeys fling their own poo, while only 5% fling other monkeys poo"

a HA! so there is a reason!


i would say that having the intestinal fortitude to chuck your own shit at someone is about the best defence mechanism i can think of.

I'm fighting Bubbles today at 3:00 in the big oak tree.
Think I'll head to taco bell and down 6 burritos loaded with hot sauce first.

[Gren the cake]

Originally posted by urgeok
I'm fighting Bubbles today at 3:00 in the big oak tree.
Think I'll head to taco bell and down 6 burritos loaded with hot sauce first.
.... ill start digging now.

anyone wanna donate a coffin?

[urgeok]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
.... ill start digging now.

anyone wanna donate a coffin?

i guess its hard to throw when it's really runny like that ..

they'd probably have to use a dixie cup or something like that .. maybe something more flame retardant

[Gren the cake]

waterballoon?????

^_^. im gonna call PETA on you

[urgeok]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
waterballoon?????

^_^. im gonna call PETA on you

try it .. go ahead .. just try it.

caus if you do i have a bucket of suprise i'm gonna throw at you .. and i've been saving it up for 2 weeks !

[Gren the cake]

i bet i can blow out more in 1 sitting than u hav in the WHOLLLLEEE bucket

and i bet mines stinkier and more granular!

[urgeok]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
i bet i can blow out more in 1 sitting than u hav in the WHOLLLLEEE bucket

and i bet mines stinkier and more granular!

ok .. looks like i can put the kleenex away now .. wont be needing it ...

bleck

[Gren the cake]

^_^ it was the granular, wasnt it???????

HEHEHEHEHEEHEEHHEH!!

[ShankS]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
I guess this would generally be directed towards the men.....

when you go to the potty and you see a turd, do you flush it, or do u try and break it in half with ur pee stream?

and if u try and break it in half, and u run out of pee before it does completely, does it piss you off?

I have to leave the toilet and go in the next cubicle, it makes me want to heave... another thing that pisses me off, are the people who can't be bothered to flush it, you can tell cos the paper is dry at the top.

[Gren the cake]

i guess i am pretty gross huh

anyway. i personally will flush it (with my foot, of course) but will go to another toilet

ya know.. cuz most people wont use a toilet if theresa floater (or even some yellow).... and it would be silly for the cycle to continue. so yeh, i flushes it :)

ur right tho.. coverin it wit paper dont make it alright!

[filmmaker2]

This thread is SOOOOOOOOOO gross. I feel filthy just reading it! I thought I was up to the level of this thread, but it has gone beyond me. This conversation is poo poo!

[ShankS]

Originally posted by filmmaker2
This thread is SOOOOOOOOOO gross. I feel filthy just reading it! I thought I was up to the level of this thread, but it has gone beyond me. This conversation is poo poo!

[urgeok]

for more on the subject :

http://www.horror.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=15424


and now, back to our regularly scheduled program

[barbra]

eh, if its yellow let it mellow, if its brown, flush it down. why waste water? piss doesn't smell bad when its been dilluted

[filmmaker2]

The turds in that other thread are very obviously bananas sloppily covered with chocolate cake frosting.

.......Aren't they?

[jay o2 waster]

Originally posted by urgeok
flush .. who the hell wants to stare at someone elses floater ..

only a girl would have asked this .... sigh.


scratch that ... only Gren would have asked that ...


weido !

:p nononono that is a fluff state ment, only the one and only fluff

[ChEEbA]

This reminds me:
EVERYTIME I GIVE A GIRL AN ORGASM SHE FAKES,
EVERYTIME I JAM IT IN, THE CONDOM BREAKS,
EVERYTIME I GAMBLE I LOSE ALL MY CHIPS,
AND EVERYTIME I EAT ALL-BRAN I GET THE SHITS
BUT EVERY TIME I SHIT IT TAKES ABOUT AN HOUR,
AND THERES NEVER ANY PAPER SO I HAVE TO HAVE A SHOWER
BUT EVERYTIME I SHOWER THE TOWLS ALREADY WET,
AND ITS NOT WET WITH WATER BUT WET WITH CUM N SWEAT

HAHAHEHAHAHA...LOVE IT

wait a fuckin minute.. if choc starfish is poop, then what the fuck is hot dog flavored water????

Uh, the only theory that I can think of warped enough would be if a guy wuold fuck a girls "chocolate starfish", and washed his penis in the sink, that would be the "hot dog" flavoured water?!?
I don't fuckin' know man...

As for wiping, yeah, I look at the paper...just the logical thing to do. I understand the merits of the asian "wash" method...My girls indian brother does the same - apparently, it's a widely done thing there...he put it down in a pretty realistic way:
"What would you do if you put your hand into some shit, would you wash it, or wipe it with wadded paper?"
So yeah...I see the point, however, it IS rather time consuming, and my western upbringing has me happy with the paper.
I check when I wipe, and well...when I shower, it's not like I DON'T clean that area.
The important thing is, I suppose, that you don't walk around smelling noticeably of shit.

[barbra]

I had the oddest poop, it was like red-brown and light green, but like in one turd, 1/2 ans 1/2. Kinda soft too. Hey Gren, you should change your title to "brown eyed girl"

[Gren the cake]

"Uh, the only theory that I can think of warped enough would be if a guy wuold fuck a girls "chocolate starfish", and washed his penis in the sink, that would be the "hot dog" flavoured water?!?
I don't fuckin' know man..."

A HA!!

@ Barbra: a few weeks ago i made a thread about strawberries. as in, i had like 5 lbs of strawberries and didnt know what to do with em

anyway.. ... apparently i dont chew enough. i could see them... clearly!! ^_^

they were still pretty red.. well, not as red. kinda like if u leave a strawberry in water, the red leaches out (i like to have sprite/7up, or sparkiling cider, and ill put strawberries in it). and its kina soft.. and pink???. oh i could see the seeds too. nice size chunks.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Gren the cake

they were still pretty red.. well, not as red. kinda like if u leave a strawberry in water, the red leaches out (i like to have sprite/7up, or sparkiling cider, and ill put strawberries in it). and its kina soft.. and pink???. oh i could see the seeds too. nice size chunks.

Do you shit like, 30 seconds after you eat something?

[Gren the cake]

sometimes i do. but i dont think its the stuff i just ate, i think its from earlier.

i mean.. i ate strawberies early on in the day, and it wasnt until sometime later that night that i saw them again.

i pee like 10x a day. ill literally pee for 3 seconds. when i was at college my first year, id piss like 20 times. it was ridiculous. i dont nkow whats wrong with me. i poo everyday and sometimes twice. but theyre not big ones. well, if its a big one i guess its 1x a day. but if its like 3 poops, then theyre all small ones.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Gren the cake

i pee like 10x a day. ill literally pee for 3 seconds. when i was at college my first year, id piss like 20 times. it was ridiculous.

I know what you mean. I piss about 10-12 times a day. I'll drink a bottle of water and a minute later I'm drainin' it.

[Gren the cake]

what does that mean?? my roommate said 'good. u cleanse urself a lot'

but maybe that means im just not absorbing anything and just shitting it out right away?

:/. its really annoying, like i said, i wash everytime... and yes, i wash EVERYTIME.. pee or poo. if its piss a lot of times ill just use baby whipes (that in itself, is a bit of a chore. i first get rid of most of the omisture with regular paper. then use baby whipe. then dab it off with regular paper on account that baby whipe stuff is reall sticky feeling).

as for pooing, sometimes ill seroiusly poo like 4x in a day.. somteimes in one night and ill hafto wash everytime. LOL

my boyfriend lives with his sister. she has these plastic cups that she puts water and then her cigarette butts in. when i wash, i go into the sohwer. in the philiippines u use a 'tabo' which is basically a little bucket. a lot of asians use those tubs u get at the casino. anyway, i go into the shower and use a 'tabo' and wash up (with soap of course). anyway, shes nasty for being a smoker so i always use her orange cup. fuckin bitch ^_^

not that i get poo on it or anything. but think about it.. im washing my ass with ur cig cup!!

[ItsAlive75]

I dunno WHAT the hell it means.

Maybe we're freaks.

[Gren the cake]

u ever have all these questions that u just wanna ask a doctor?

but then im gonna go set up an appointment and wait in that room and take temperature and all that.. just to ask these dummy questions and have a fatty bill?

:( that and theyd probably need me to piss and of course when i ned to piss i cant. then theyd hafto run it through and id be waitign and waiting and wiating and then itll come back 'inconclusive'

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Gren the cake

:( that and theyd probably need me to piss and of course when i ned to piss i cant. then theyd hafto run it through and id be waitign and waiting and wiating and then itll come back 'inconclusive'

My friend smokes a lot so I had to piss for him, and I drank 4 bottles of water and couldn't piss. I managed to squeak out a little bit, and as soon as he left I was pissing for the rest of the day.

[Gren the cake]

i always hated that cuz id piss all over my hands :(

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
i always hated that cuz id piss all over my hands :(

Wow I didn't think I was going to laugh at the image of a girl peein' on her hands.

[Gren the cake]

i heard that pissing on ur feet gets rid of athletes foot.

[ItsAlive75]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
i heard that pissing on ur feet gets rid of athletes foot.

Jellyfish stings too

[Gren the cake]

:( i was at my bfs this morning andi hadnt pooed since about..... i dunno, id get 11pm last ngiht?

anyway, the complex shut the water off cuz theyre fixing the pipes or whatever.

so yeh, i didnt get to poo till like 130pm. and thing is, by the time i got home, i didnt even need to poo anymore... i thought 'where did it go??'

:(but i think its gonna come out now.... brb

[barbra]

Originally posted by ItsAlive75
Jellyfish stings too the one time its alright to piss on your kid sister, or give a golden shower in public ha.



As many gross things Ive typed tonight, no one has comented on them. Its a real shame.

[Gren the cake]

someone mustve

someone as in... me. i must be losing my touch :(

that and i have a paper on the KKK that i wrote most of up over the weekend that i need to transfer onto the puter. its due wednesday by 620pm (that being the time i leave for class) and i figure i have all day tomrorw.

:( so im here instead.

[barbra]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
someone mustve

someone as in... me. i must be losing my touch :(

that and i have a paper on the KKK that i wrote most of up over the weekend that i need to transfer onto the puter. its due wednesday by 620pm (that being the time i leave for class) and i figure i have all day tomrorw.

:( so im here instead. eh, you should do your paper, as much fun as this is. Hellboy said he almost threw up that kinda makes my night.

[insane78]

Gren, what the fuck is wrong with you? You don't need to look at the paper to know when it's time to stop wiping. You just know. For me, it's fairly simple: sometimes I look at the toilet paper, sometimes I don't. Forgive me for bein' crude, but when you wipe your ass raw, that's when its time to stop wiping. What the fuck goes thru some people's minds at night? Were you high when you started this thread, or just bored or what? By the way, if you were high when ya started this, please send me some. Sounds like some good shit.