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The Mothman
02-10-2005, 07:05 AM
here's a story that wrote. i wrote it in ten minutes, so it may be a little rusty. Plus this is the first time a have written a horror story. please give me your feedback






I entered Bob’s barber shop. All the seats were taken up, so I sat in one of the waiting seats, and read a magazine. I riffled through the selection of boring magazines. American Haircuts, Guns ‘n’ Ammo, Teen People, and other pointless magazines on hobbies and such. After a while, a man stood up, paid one of the barbers and left the shop. I stood up and started towards the seat, when all of a sudden one of the barbers told me to sit back down. He claimed that he was not ready for me, and that he would tell me when he was. I sat back down, puzzled. There was no one else waiting in line, I didn’t know why I couldn’t just get on with it. The barbers finished off the rest of the people one by one, as I sat in my chair, confused. Finally, as all of the patrons left, all the barbers except one walked out the front door. The last one out turned the open sign on the front of the door to “closed.” “Your up.” Said the remaining barber. I nervously got up and sat in the chair. He walked over to the wall and closed the shades. As he walked back over to me, he leaned over and picked up the hair bib off the floor. I was shaking with fear by now, and I wanted to leave. As I tried to get up and out of my chair, I found myself stuck, and unable to move. The barber looked over at me and smiled. He pressed a button hidden behind some hairspray on the windowsill. Metal cuffs protruded out of the chair, and slammed down over my wrists, neck and ankles. He swiftly picked up a cloth and shoved it in my mouth. I tried to scream, but it came out as muffled coughing noises. He leaned over me and started to put on my bib. I didn’t bother struggle because I knew it would be no use. He put it on me, covering me completly, including my face, and buttoned the top. I was now nothing but a vegetable, covered with a hair bib. I couldn’t see anything, so I tried to listen as best I could. He walked out of the room. After a couple minutes, I heard him return. All of a sudden I read a loud rumble, that gained volume and pace by the second. I gasped and frantically struggled and trying to yell for help. He walked over in my direction. I could feel him put his head next to mine. He grabbed the back of my seat and said, “Time for your haircut.”

urgeok
02-10-2005, 07:11 AM
i think you have a fucked up barber !

by the way .. barbers have patrons, not patients (those are in hospitals seeing doctors)

funny idea .. good first shot.

The Mothman
02-10-2005, 07:23 AM
thank you!:D

Chainsaw Guy
02-10-2005, 04:52 PM
Dancing Bananas

The Mothman
02-10-2005, 05:34 PM
wtf is that supposed to mean?

X¤MurderDoll¤X
02-10-2005, 06:13 PM
I don't get it.

ItsAlive75
02-10-2005, 06:57 PM
What's not to get...

Your story needs dancing bananas, obviously.

X¤MurderDoll¤X
02-10-2005, 07:01 PM
Originally posted by ItsAlive75
What's not to get...


What's scary about it? Just sounds like a kid making a big deal over getting his haricut.

ItsAlive75
02-10-2005, 07:02 PM
Originally posted by X¤MurderDoll¤X
What's scary about it? Just sounds like a kid making a big deal over getting his haricut.

Well yeah, but we don't wanna badmouth the poor guy's story.


KEEP IT UP BIG GUY, YOU'RE DOIN' GREAT!!!

The Mothman
02-11-2005, 05:23 AM
KEEP IT UP BIG GUY, YOU'RE DOIN' GREAT!!! :D :D :rolleyes:

Gren the cake
02-11-2005, 05:29 AM
i think it would be better if u saved the haircut surprise till the end

as in, u make it sound like something real shitty is abou to happen, then it turns out its just a fuckin haircut

kapiche? capeesh?

The Mothman
02-11-2005, 06:09 AM
ya that would be funny. I'm not very good at writing stories. btw this is my first horror story. except for the exception of a few telly tuby cult stories. I could post those itf you want.

Gren the cake
02-11-2005, 06:17 AM
i think it takes alot to even come up with somet hing!

as for ur writing, that can be honed as u go. first u write, then afterward is when u go through and fix it up

post whatever u want!!! :)

The Mothman
02-11-2005, 06:20 AM
thnx 4 ur support:D you can read my telly tubby exploitation thread in the general discussion. is up now.

Hate_Breeder
02-11-2005, 06:41 AM
Originally posted by X¤MurderDoll¤X
What's scary about it? Just sounds like a kid making a big deal over getting his haricut.

Well your awfully pretty :D