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View Full Version : I'm going out with a blonde girl......


ShankS
01-12-2005, 01:52 AM
...that is so blonde...

She got stabbed in a shoot-out.

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

She tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order.

She tried to drown a fish.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She tripped over a cordless phone.

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

At the bottom of the application where it says 'sign here', she put 'Sagittarius.'

If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.

She studied for a blood test... and failed.

She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.

She thought she needed a ticket to get on Soul Train.

She sold the car for gas money.

When she heard that 90 percent of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.

When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.


:D :D

that fuckin taco bell one is superb ....roflmao.

nine9
01-12-2005, 02:19 AM
HAHAHA!:mad: :p

furballothrills
01-12-2005, 03:09 AM
lol, how do you put up with her?

ShankS
01-12-2005, 03:16 AM
Originally posted by furballothrills
lol, how do you put up with her?

pull the valve plug and deflate her...

:p :D ;)

pythagoraz
01-12-2005, 04:14 AM
LMFAO!!! :D

AUSTIN316426808
01-12-2005, 04:52 AM
Originally posted by ShankS
...that is so blonde...

.

She tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order.

She sold the car for gas money.

When she heard that 90 percent of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.



The whole thing was funny but these are priceless.

LMAO.

Death By Jell-O
01-12-2005, 09:30 AM
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

You mean you're not supposed to do that? I'm gonna have to look into this.....:(

ShankS
01-12-2005, 09:48 AM
Two blonds were driving through the tunnel to Disneyland when they came up to a fork in the road...

the fork read "Disneyland Left <--" so they turned around and went home.


:D

The_Return
01-12-2005, 09:56 AM
A blonde and her father are walking down a street when the father says, ''Look, a dead bird.''
And the blonde looks up and says, ''Where?''

The_Return
01-12-2005, 09:56 AM
Q: What's the difference between a blonde's brain and a box of rocks?
A: Nothing.

The_Return
01-12-2005, 09:57 AM
A blonde carpenter was fixing up some wooden window frames on a 50-story building. He was using an electric saw and accidentally cut one of his ears off. A guy was walking along the street below him so he called out, ''Hey, you on the street, can you see my ear down there?'' The guy on the street picks up an ear saying, ''Is this it?'' ''No,'' was the reply from the blonde carpenter, ''mine had a pencil behind it.''

The_Return
01-12-2005, 09:58 AM
A blonde says to a brunette, ''Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt.''
The brunette says, ''Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup.''

The_Return
01-12-2005, 09:59 AM
Once there was a blonde driving home from work when she saw a sheep farm. She stops and asks the farmer if she can have a sheep. The farmer says "If you can count all my sheep I'll let you have any one you want." The blonde looks around her for a moment and says, "You have 356 sheep." The farmer exclaims, "Wow -- you're exactly right. I guess blondes really aren't dumb. Now go pick yourself out a sheep."
The blonde makes her choice, picks it up, comes back to the farmer to thank him. "Oh no," he says, "you can't have that one." "Why not?" asks the blonde, "you said I could have any sheep I wanted." And the farmer says, "Ma'am, that's my dog."

The_Return
01-12-2005, 09:59 AM
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said, ''DON'T WALK.''

The_Return
01-12-2005, 10:01 AM
A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.
The cop walked up to her window and asked, "Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?"

The blonde said, "I'm sorry sir, but wherever I go, there's always a tree in front of me and I can't seem to get away from it!"

The cop looked at her and said, "Lady, that's your air freshener!"

The_Return
01-12-2005, 10:01 AM
Q: What's the advantage of having a blonde as a girlfriend?
A: You get to park in handicapped zones.

The_Return
01-12-2005, 10:02 AM
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted

evil_blonde
01-12-2005, 11:32 AM
*Looks at you*
*Turns around and leaves*

THis thread is dumb, blonde people aren't actually dumb.
OK?

urgeok
01-12-2005, 11:41 AM
more blonde jokes are told to me by blonde women than anyone else...

newb
01-12-2005, 11:42 AM
Originally posted by evil_blonde


THis thread is dumb, blonde people aren't actually dumb.
OK?

Are you sure about that?

http://www.bongonews.com/StoryImages/jessica_simpson.jpg

http://www.lite98.com/timages/page/Chicken%20of%20the%20Sea.jpg

evil_blonde
01-12-2005, 12:03 PM
Originally posted by newb
Are you sure about that?

http://www.bongonews.com/StoryImages/jessica_simpson.jpg

http://www.lite98.com/timages/page/Chicken%20of%20the%20Sea.jpg

I was talking about real people. She doesn't count.

Angra
01-12-2005, 12:07 PM
Originally posted by evil_blonde
I was talking about real people. She doesn't count.

Aaaauuw... Donīt take it personaly, sweety. Itīs all the other blonds they are talking about. Not you. ;) L

ShankS
01-12-2005, 12:22 PM
rofl... chicken of the sea. hahahah

furballothrills
01-12-2005, 02:12 PM
and to think, all the jokes that Vamp posted are after only one day without school. Geez, you're notorious for those.

AUSTIN316426808
01-12-2005, 02:51 PM
Originally posted by evil_blonde
I was talking about real people. She doesn't count.


is she a robot or something?

furballothrills
01-12-2005, 02:56 PM
..or is she made of plastic?

DraculaInDallas
01-12-2005, 03:21 PM
How do you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday?????
Tell her a joke on Tuesday. :p

urgeok
01-12-2005, 04:06 PM
whats the difference between a blonde and a mercedes benz ?

I've never been inside a mercedes benz :D

ShankS
01-12-2005, 04:15 PM
A blonde, out for a walk, comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river, then down the river, then shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

evil_blonde
01-12-2005, 06:01 PM
Originally posted by Angra
Aaaauuw... Donīt take it personaly, sweety. Itīs all the other blonds they are talking about. Not you. ;) L

Oh, right.

But you're talking to me as if I am a very young child.
Hmm...?

ChEEbA
01-12-2005, 06:38 PM
Yeah...I see NO reason whatsoever for THAT...

ShankS
01-12-2005, 07:19 PM
Originally posted by ChEEbA
Yeah...I see NO reason whatsoever for THAT...

reason for what?

nine9
01-12-2005, 07:40 PM
:mad: ;)

Shank you nasty shit........... :D :D :D

ShankS
01-12-2005, 08:20 PM
Originally posted by nine9
:mad: ;)

Shank you nasty shit........... :D :D :D



This blonde really wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.

Suddenly---from the sky---a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!" Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

The blonde, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, even louder: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"







There was a slight pause...

















The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!"

rahahahhahh :D :D


;)

evil_blonde
01-12-2005, 10:25 PM
Originally posted by ChEEbA
Yeah...I see NO reason whatsoever for THAT...

I said "very" :(

ChEEbA
01-12-2005, 10:38 PM
I said "goober"

Vodstok
01-13-2005, 04:42 AM
Yay! Shanks has a girlfreind!

And she is cute ;)

urgeok
01-13-2005, 05:08 AM
she's not blonde !

Vodstok
01-13-2005, 05:17 AM
its an old picture

ShankS
01-13-2005, 05:27 AM
Originally posted by Vodstok
Yay! Shanks has a girlfreind!

And she is cute ;)

rofl... she's got hairy nipples just like the hairy bush

ChEEbA
01-13-2005, 05:41 AM
vod likey

Vodstok
01-13-2005, 05:43 AM
What can i say, i have thing for brunettes :D

ShankS
01-13-2005, 05:45 AM
Originally posted by Vodstok
What can i say, i have thing for brunettes :D

she dont argue back

ShankS
01-13-2005, 05:50 AM
time for another joke.....


What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?



































Artificial intelligence


:D

urgeok
01-13-2005, 05:51 AM
heh :D

freakygirl17
01-14-2005, 10:04 AM
lmao