OH MY GOTH!!!...You Guys Better Seek Professional Help...Immediately!

[bloodrayne]

This was a REAL bulletin listed at some Baptist website...I mean it, Guys...They are SERIOUS...This is NOT a joke...Well...I mean, to THEM, it isn't a joke...But, we think it's fucking HILARIOUS...
-------------------------------------------------------------

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord:

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic worshipping symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are
but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays video games that contain violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene
immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
---------------------------------------------------------------

So...Confess...How many of YOU have discovered that you are 'Goths'?....Come on...Admit it...You KNOW you gotta have that Count Chocula cereal....CONFESS, DAMMIT!.....LOL:rolleyes: :p :D

[Death By Jell-O]

~Grabs the Torch and Pitchfork~

Time for an old fashioned witch hunt.....:D

[Haphazard]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
The gothic culture
leads
young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness,
and
violence.

I like how they say "imagined world." As if their world of holiness isn't all in their heads. :rolleyes:

[movieman64]

Yep, that pretty much covers it all.

[Angelakillsluts]

I counted 32 of those are applicable to me... I'm not a goth though.

Come on, it has to be a joke.... it just has to be! :p

[allmykids]

If you go by that ALL teens are goth!! Give me a fucking break!! I can say yes to 80% of that . Wonder what that makes me??

[Haphazard]

Originally posted by bloodrayne


-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may
speak
to evil sprits through meditation.)

-

Ooohhhhh! So when I was younger and my parents wanted to get me out of their hair...it wasn't because I was getting on their nerves, or they had a tough day at work...

they were conjuring evil spirits!!!!

I gotta have a word with those bastards!

[Angelakillsluts]

Originally posted by Haphazard
I like how they say "imagined world." As if their world of holiness isn't all in their heads. :rolleyes:

hahah very true, Hap. :D

[Haphazard]

Holier than thou mother speaking to holier than thou father

Oh dear god! Where have we gone wrong...I mean, everyone told me that the teen years would be difficult. But...but, our child is a no-good Count Chocula addict. WHY!!???????? WHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYY!! *sobs incessantly*


http://theimaginaryworld.com/box712.jpg

[Angelakillsluts]

Damn that count chocula and his deliciously tempting devil cereal :D

[Haphazard]

Originally posted by Angelakillsluts
Damn that count chocula and his deliciously tempting devil cereal :D

hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahah!!!!!!!


It's da debil!!!!
http://www.cineclub.de/images/waterboy3.jpg

[Angelakillsluts]

My friends mom is just like that, mega christian mom. She wouldn't let him see the sixth sense because she said the whole idea of ghosts walking around down here instead of in heaven was ridiculous.

[urgeok]

Originally posted by Angelakillsluts
My friends mom is just like that, mega christian mom. She wouldn't let him see the sixth sense because she said the whole idea of ghosts walking around down here instead of in heaven was ridiculous.


where i find both to be equally rediculous :)

[Haphazard]

Originally posted by Angelakillsluts
My friends mom is just like that, mega christian mom. She wouldn't let him see the sixth sense because she said the whole idea of ghosts walking around down here instead of in heaven was ridiculous.

These people annoy the phuck outta me! It's a god damn movie, people! Enter fucking tainment!

Guess what???? flying monkeys and talking lions are ridiculous too!

err, wait...maybe not...but STILL!

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by Haphazard
Holier than thou mother speaking to holier than thou father

Oh dear god! Where have we gone wrong...I mean, everyone told me that the teen years would be difficult. But...but, our child is a no-good Count Chocula addict. WHY!!???????? WHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYY!! *sobs incessantly*


http://theimaginaryworld.com/box712.jpg And you KNOW that Star Wars is evil shit, too.....All that stuff about space travel, stars, planets, other lifeforms, and all that other 20th Century nonsense...lol

[urgeok]

i like Captain Crunch a lot more ... if only it didnt tear the shit out of the roof of your mouth.


its like some tribal rite of passage for children.

the captain crunch bloody mouth test.

[Angelakillsluts]

Originally posted by urgeok
i like Captain Crunch a lot more ... if only it didnt tear the shit out of the roof of your mouth.


its like some tribal rite of passage for children.

the captain crunch bloody mouth test.

hah a cornflake stuck in the roof of my mouth once, damn that hurt.

[urgeok]

silly rabbit, cornflakes are for kids !

captain crunch is for the toughassed kid.

although - harvest nature crunch .. the one with the maple clusters .. thats just a crap shoot .. i'm gonna but a tooth on one of those some day.

[ShankS]

Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.............




roflmfao.

[Haphazard]

Originally posted by urgeok
i like Captain Crunch a lot more ... if only it didnt tear the shit out of the roof of your mouth.


its like some tribal rite of passage for children.

the captain crunch bloody mouth test.

Doritos are no joke either. Those pointy fucking things hurt!

But it feels soooooo good...

[pythagoraz]

thats so funny... but are you suprised??? I mean... seriously! people are f.cked up! (for example: more than one guy actually voted for Bush!).. Dont bother to care...

[Angelakillsluts]

Originally posted by urgeok
silly rabbit, cornflakes are for kids !

captain crunch is for the toughassed kid.

although - harvest nature crunch .. the one with the maple clusters .. thats just a crap shoot .. i'm gonna but a tooth on one of those some day.

pssht what's more hardcore then a cereal that goes through the roof of your mouth like a razor blade? :p

[ShankS]

Originally posted by Haphazard
Doritos are no joke either. Those pointy fucking things hurt!

But it feels soooooo good...

cheesey doritos and salsa dips are awesome

[Haphazard]

Originally posted by Angelakillsluts
pssht what's more hardcore then a cereal that goes through the roof of your mouth like a razor blade? :p

A cereal that has a razor blade as the prize inside the box.

(Goths collect those, ya know).

[urgeok]

lemme see ...

-Frequently wears black clothing.

the odd t-shirt ... they are slimming

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

does my Hansen t-shirt count ?

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.

not where you can see it

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic worshipping symbols.

i have the actual cross and JC's bones on a pendant .. heavy as hell.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

im interested if they are on a girls belly button.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

i dont need music to do that but yeah .. REO Speedwagon.

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

i'm speaking with you freaks at Horror arent i ?

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible, prayer, church or sports.

i lost interest in naked wrestling with father neilson at our church. does that count ?

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

i had satan over for stir fry just the other nite. vampires are funny.

-Takes drugs.

only for a headache

-Drinks alcohol.

only to get a headache

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

homocidal - yes, suicidal - no

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

i cut my nails .. i let a hairdresser cut my hair. A doctor circumsized me but i had no say in that. then there was the umbilico cord thing.

-Complains of boredom.

i'm bored of this long fucking quiz already

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

oh yeah .. 5 hours is demonic

-Is excessively awake during the night.

i thought we werent supposed to sleep .. what the fuck make up your minds !

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

yeah .. dam your sun, god ! i hate vegetables too !

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

what, am i gonna whack off in public ?

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

you're repeating yourself

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

no, i'm whacking off .. pay attention FUCK !

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult.

if i even see my mom at our after school gangbang there is no way i'm getting wood.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are
but a few examples of this.

what ??

-Misbehaves at school.

constantly ... filling out these things when i was supposed to be colouring.

-Misbehaves at home.

every fucking chance i get

-Eats excessively or too little.

yeah .. both

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.

only with 2% goatsblood poured over it.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

blood should only be injected straight into a vein .. to bypass the ingestion/digestion stages.

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

i dont watch tv ! i'm not a goth ! i'm not a goth !
oh exept for that all night goth station...

-Plays video games that contain violence or role-playing nature.

wouldnt dream of it. frag.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.

i cant remember the last time i was even near a computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

sure, i have parkinsons and that makes me a goth

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

never ... ok, only when i dance.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

an interest ? well thats putting it fucking mildly

-Masturbates


uhhhhh ughhhhnnnn ughhhhnnnnnn !!!! ohhh yeahh oh yeahh !!! wooo hoooo. i need a kleenex. what was the question ?

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

i would be - if i wasnt straight.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

and christianity..

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

so lets see .. wearing a sticker that says 'i'm a goth' is a clue to one's being a goth ? wow who'd a thunk ?

-Claims to be a goth.

i claim to be a sloth




so kids, the jury is out ...

am i a goth ?

[jay o2 waster]

i don't know at least one person that atleast 5 of those don't apply, i mean, priests (most) wear black mostly

[furballothrills]

lmfao! So I'm a goth now, eh? lmao there are only a few that almost everyone in my school doesn't do hah hah!

[The_Return]

I counted 19 that aply to me, Lmao

Good point about Priests wearing black though, Jay....


Muhahahaha!! Itz the priest that will kill us all:rolleyes:

[Sergio]

This has to be the most ignorant list the church has made so far. Who writes this shit? So I'm asking my good friend Satan to blow the fuck outah that damn building and to give them all scabies and the clap. I feel like running out and looking for little Christian kids and turning them all Goth just to piss off those stupid bible thumping assholes off, but then I wont even need to because 99% of all people on earth are Goth by that stupid ass list. Even my mom and she's Christian, but she spends lots of time alone since my dad died. Guess my moms cooler than I thought. Way to go Goth Mom I love you.

Wait Dads Goth too he sleeps forever in a coffin now. I love you Goth dad.

Keep the laughter coming Rayne that's some funny shit.

Lets write that church a list called `You might be a Nazi if`

[furballothrills]

hah hah Vamp, I got 20 lol

[Gren the cake]

Originally posted by allmykids
If you go by that ALL teens are goth!!

nope, not me! then again.. im not a teenage anymore!! HHAHH!!

:D thats a funni list but hey thats they belief!? theres stranger ou there...

:D lol

[Gren the cake]

Originally posted by Angelakillsluts
pssht what's more hardcore then a cereal that goes through the roof of your mouth like a razor blade? :p

salt and vinegar chips.. thats the exact cause of my herpes scare a couple days ago!

not only the cutting... but the salt and vinegar irritated it! is it herpes or is it chips?? LOOKOUT!!!!!!!!!

[Hate_Breeder]

29 lol

[friday13thfan]

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.



ok thats gay you mean to tell me 5- year old a cross the street who loves CC is a goth?

Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism


ok that really pisses me off.. Buddhism is about peace and living a non violent life, nothing about evil... this proves this is the kind of church i hate, cristians who think any one not one of them is the devil. god i hate them.... whats Scientology:confused:

[urgeok]

Originally posted by friday13thfan
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.



ok thats gay you mean to tell me 5- year old a cross the street who loves CC is a goth?

Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism


ok that really pisses me off.. Buddhism is about peace and living a non violent life, nothing about evil... this proves this is the kind of church i hate, cristians who think any one not one of them is the devil. god i hate them.... whats Scientology:confused:


you have a computer .. you have the net .. google it !

[friday13thfan]

Originally posted by urgeok
you have a computer .. you have the net .. google it !

don't judge me!

*runs aways crying* lol

[urgeok]

Originally posted by friday13thfan
don't judge me!

*runs aways crying* lol

??? just advice .... you're sitting in front of the most powerful tool on the planet .... one quick google will educate you ..

[orangestar]

These are the ones that apply to me...

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are
but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.


-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays video games that contain violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates






soo...yeah. Im probably the most stereotypically preppy person...umm yeah.

[wufong]

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
i would only care if it was my son who did this. i would beat him stupid, thats if the other kids didn't beat me too it.

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic worshipping symbols.

weird they should say that the reverse cross is evil..because if this makes one a goth that must mean the pope is goth, have a look at the top of his "throne/chair" w/e. but then again its mainly a catholic religious symbol. but then again these people are baptist who think everything catholic is evil..


-Watches cable television
that shit will rot anyones brain ,doesn't matter if they are teenage goth wanna bes or not

-

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
thats not goth, thats just mental illness.

[Death By Jell-O]

Originally posted by Gren the cake
nope, not me! then again.. im not a teenage anymore!! HHAHH!!

:D thats a funni list but hey thats they belief!? theres stranger ou there...

:D lol

But then again, There's teenagers out there with better language skills than you are displaying.......How do we know you're not hiding behind anonymity rather than just someone who we like to think of as just a lil "slow"....

[Haphazard]

Originally posted by urgeok
??? just advice .... you're sitting in front of the most powerful tool on the planet .... one quick google will educate you ..

That always cracked me up about my co-workers. They were constantly asking me stuff like, how do you spell this? What does this mean? What time does such and such start? Who framed Roger Rabbit?? etc.

I would reply the same exact way you just did.

I don't get it.

[Death By Jell-O]

Originally posted by Haphazard
That always cracked me up about my co-workers. They were constantly asking me stuff like, how do you spell this? What does this mean? What time does such and such start? Who framed Roger Rabbit?? etc.

I would reply the same exact way you just did.

I don't get it.

People are Stupid......The End

[Gren the cake]

Originally posted by Death By Jell-O
But then again, There's teenagers out there with better language skills than you are displaying.......How do we know you're not hiding behind anonymity rather than just someone who we like to think of as just a lil "slow"....

wow.. u r digging way too deeply into this

[DarkwingMantis]

WTF! This is some funny ass shit here. Gotta love those wacky christians! I gues I am VERYT goth, but I dont listne to Marilyn Manso... BUt I do have a Ricard Cheese CD that remade a Manson song, does that count?

[I_Still_Know!]

Originally posted by Haphazard
Who framed Roger Rabbit?? etc.


LOL!!!!!!!!!

My team leader does that alot with his spelling when typing emails in Microsoft Outlook... "How do you spell 'analyst'?"

I have asked co workers why he doesnt just use spell check. We have come to the conclusion that his original spelling of the words would not be close enough for even spell check to recommend the correct spelling.

[furballothrills]

Originally posted by Death By Jell-O
But then again, There's teenagers out there with better language skills than you are displaying.......How do we know you're not hiding behind anonymity rather than just someone who we like to think of as just a lil "slow"....
heh heh heh.. me, or Norbert? Thanks for posting that, it was bothering the perfectionist in me.

[Chainsaw Guy]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
This was a REAL bulletin listed at some Baptist website...I mean it, Guys...They are SERIOUS...This is NOT a joke...Well...I mean, to THEM, it isn't a joke...But, we think it's fucking HILARIOUS...
-------------------------------------------------------------

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may
have gone astray from the Lord:

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic worshipping symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are
but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays video games that contain violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene
immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
---------------------------------------------------------------

So...Confess...How many of YOU have discovered that you are 'Goths'?....Come on...Admit it...You KNOW you gotta have that Count Chocula cereal....CONFESS, DAMMIT!.....LOL:rolleyes: :p :D


wow i never knew thats why people stare at me during church:D :D

[Chainsaw Guy]

sry bout the double post but
-Misbehaves at school.
DOn't have to be gothic for
-Misbehaves at home.
Same as above
-. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
hahahahahahaha
-Watches cable television
hahahahaha

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.
Wonder who this sounds like
--Masturbates
Same as first 2 comments

[furballothrills]

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
does anyone actually want one of their potentially annoying and embarrassing parents hanging around them and their friends? I mean, I can see like once and a while, if you want to spend time with a parent, or you just want money, but come on, you need some privacy!

[The_Return]

Originally posted by furballothrills
does anyone actually want one of their potentially annoying and embarrassing parents hanging around them and their friends? I mean, I can see like once and a while, if you want to spend time with a parent, or you just want money, but come on, you need some privacy!

Lol, reminds me of this one time....

Me and [Doesnt want name said online] were hanging out, and 3 of our female friends showed up at my front door. We didnt care to be anywhere near them, so we told them to go away. They came inside an watched Oprah with my mother. I was like Wtf? It was so strange

[urgeok]

Originally posted by The_Return
Lol, reminds me of this one time....

Me and [Doesnt want name said online] were hanging out, and 3 of our female friends showed up at my front door. We didnt care to be anywhere near them, so we told them to go away. They came inside an watched Oprah with my mother. I was like Wtf? It was so strange

doesnt want name said online ?

what is he a movie star ? a politician ?
Afraid that hanging with you will harm his image ?

[The_Return]

Originally posted by urgeok
doesnt want name said online ?

what is he a movie star ? a politician ?
Afraid that hanging with you will harm his image ?

Paranoid I guess, no idea

[meetthecreeper]

*Spews Count Chocula all over keyboard*

I would say something about this but what would be the point.

Christians are so tolerant.

*Goes for my Count Chocula, finds none, grabs Frankenberry*

[Gruesome]

-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masterbates

Pretty much sums me up!

[orangestar]

Originally posted by Gruesome
Pretty much sums me up!


ditto

[Chainsaw Guy]

Originally posted by meetthecreeper
[BFrankenberry* [/B]



Frankenberrys kick ass

[kpropain]

Organized religions make me want to throw up..

[The STE]

"-Frequently wears black clothing."
OMG, Johnny Cash was a goth!

"-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts."
Too much of a generalization. If it's an 80's synth group or something like that, maybe, but if it's a Doobie Brothers shirt, probably not

"-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish."
Ok, now they're stealing stuff from You Might Be A Prostitute if...

"-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic worshipping symbols."
Silly rabbit, symbols don't worship anything.
Also, ankhs are Egyptian

"-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos."
That's skaters, you idiot

"-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)"
Also, reimburse the $20-30 that was paid for said album

"-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically."
Eccentric:
1 a : deviating from an established or usual pattern or style b : deviating from conventional or accepted usage or conduct especially in odd or whimsical ways
damn those whimsical speakers!

"-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible, prayer, church or sports."
Bible: Boring except for Leviticus
Prayer: I have bad knees
Church: *shrug*
Sports: Conform! CONFORM! Also, boring except wrestling

"-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan."
only maybe one or two of those involve Satan. For some people who hate him so much, they sure do give him a lot of power

"-Takes drugs."
HA!

"-Drinks alcohol."
See above, re: Drugs

"-Is suicidal and/or depressed."
Emo

"-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)"
Clearly, his research on self-mutilation was staggering

"-Complains of boredom."
...yeah...I'm not even going to bother

"-Sleeps too excessively or too little."
Well, which is it?

"-Is excessively awake during the night."
Define "night" Is it when it's dark out? Are there specific hours? What if they're going to midnight mass? Being awake at midnight is a bit excessive, especially when you're going somewhere for an hour or so

"-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)"
uh, if it's pertaining to vampires, then it's promoting the idea that sunlight would cause one to burst into flames, which would mean that "His" light would be of great use. Or maybe they just REALLY liked The Others.

"-Demands an unusual amount of privacy."
How much is unusual?

"-Spends large amounts of time alone."
Maybe people don't like them. If they're normal by the exact terms of this list, I would understand why

"-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)"
who says they're evil? And if they're alone, how would you know what they're doing?

"-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult."
Well, you guys aren't any fun

"-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this."
Teachers: A lot of them are morons
Priests: Pedophiles
Nuns: Repressed control-frekas
Elders: You mean old people? How are they authority figures? They're senile and mean.

"-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home."
Maybe it's the shitty parenting that's to blame.

"-Eats excessively or too little."
Excessively: Take it as a compliment and shut the fuck up
Too little: Dads, maybe next time you're slapping your wife around you could add in that she should cook better

"-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this."
No it isn't. Dumbass

"-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)"
Again, you obviously know nothing about vampires.

"-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)"
Ah, the old "Liberal-Jew Media Consipracy" schtick. Booooring

"-Plays video games that contain violence or role-playing nature."
Yeah, because Christians know nothing about commiting violence towards other people.

"-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer."
See, now that's automatically assuming that they're doing something bad on the computer. How about having a bit of that "faith" crap you people seem to hold in such high regard?

"-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music."
Given some of the videos they have nowadays, they might be having a seizure. Yes, your kid is dying right in front of you while you yell at them. Is that another sign of Gothismness?

"-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates"
I'm just going to assume you know why that's stupid and move on

"-Is homosexual and/or bisexual."
Of the 1,200 vague and stupid definitions of "goth" I've seen, butt sex is in exactly 0 of them

"-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism."
Yeah, you obviously have done no research into any topic that you've talked about in this shitty essay. You know nothing about any of these religions because you're ignorant and intolerant and a dumbass. I'm surprised you spelled Buddhism right.

"-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth"."
Yeah, if they've got any of those, they aren't being serious.

"-Claims to be a goth."
Usually means they're not a goth. See also: People who are "punk"

While you're at it, you may as well tell the parents that if they have any of these symptoms at all (Jesus wouldn't take any chances, after all) to round them all up and burn them at the stake. But that's an interest in death, better throw yourselves on the fire while you're at it

[Gren the cake]

wtf r they talking about 'complains of boredom' when i see people yawning in church all the time

O WAIT. their not bored, just tired....

[AUSTIN316426808]

so basicly everybody on the planet worships is a satan worshiping goth.

[AUSTIN316426808]

out of all the things i've heard,read,seen,done and lived through in my short time on this planet this has got to be the stupidest thing i've ever come in contact with whatever dumb fuck wasted precious moments of thier life to write that piece of shit should be covered in blood and tossed into a lion's den.

[furballothrills]

Nice comments, STE. I agree lol. Oh and Austin, it's one of the dumbest, but of all things I think that the word 'stupidest' is by far more stupid.lol

[Tolstoy]

Some of my favourite websites are baptist sites like the one originally quoted.

Cutting Edge (http://www.cuttingedge.org/archives.html) has a lot of free articles that interpret events in the news in accordance with what Jesus would think, or something. The newsletters are fascinating.

Dial the Truth (http://www.av1611.org/) is similar, but less restrained. It has a fantastic article on why Christian rock bands are really all Satanists.

Creationism.org (http://www.creationism.org) explains that there's no such thing as evolution, God created the world as written in Genesis and dinosaurs walked amongst us a few thousand years ago. (Actually, I never looked up which version of the creation they prefer. Genesis gives 2, and they disagree with each other.)

A spoof site that can be hard to distinguish from the real ones is Landover Baptist (http://www.landoverbaptist.org).

[Angra]

There is no one sicker than religious people....

Better to be a spawn of Satan.

:cool:

[LilMissScareAll]

Haha! Here are the ones that apply to me:


-Frequently wears black clothing. (The majority of my wardrobe is black)

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. (Doesn't everyone?!)

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish. (Haven't worn black lipstick in a few years but I like heavy dark eye makeup and black nailpolish)

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.) (What's wrong with antisocial music?:D)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible, prayer, church or sports (If sports are included in this then it applies. I pray and I go to church on occasion...and thank God my church doesn't have these stupid beliefs. But I absolutely hate sports. Never have liked them, never will. Sports=most boring thing ever created)

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

-Complains of boredom. (I live in a crappy little town, what else would anyone expect?)

-Sleeps too excessively or too little. (I have trouble sleeping)

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.) (The sun hurts my eyes and I don't like it and I think it should be dark or cloudy outside all the time...so what? :p)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Eats excessively or too little. (Too little...sometimes)

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this. (Haha...so I like Count Chocula!)

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.) (Ok, I don't DRINK blood...but I like the taste of it)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays video games that contain violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. (the music part not the satanic symbols)

-Masturbates

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

[ChEEbA]

You're all going to die down here.

[Angra]

Originally posted by ChEEbA
You're all going to die down here.

Isn´t that nice. :)

[nine9]

My brother thinks I am a closet goth, fit alot of these things, but not extroverted enough to go that way.

Actually.......I am more a goth/hippie......weird, but would make sense if you knew me. :p

[friday13thfan]

ones that apply to me



-Frequently wears black clothing.
(don't priest also wear black?)

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts
(showing that you like a certian band is not being goth retards:rolleyes: )

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY
(yeah so what? it my american rights to listen to waht i want)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
(what you think i want to be alone?)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult.
(waht you think i want to go to the movies with my girlfriend and have my mom there watching us)

-shakes head violently to music
(hold on i have a major head ache)



yep these apply to me

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
(and your point is)

-Sleeps too excessively or too little
(I've been waking up at around 2 and 3 oclock lately but go backi to sleep and wake up tired)

-Complains of boredom
(im bored this threead is fucking boring :D

-Spends large amounts of time alone.
(at home yes cause im not really in a good relationship with my parents..they are like the cristians that made this goth thing)

-Masturbates
(even priest masturbate sometimes)

-Plays video games that contain violence or role-playing nature.
(its just fictional game play i can tell real verses fake a game will not make me hurt ppl)

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
(what am i on right now my ass?)

"-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)"
(No its so i can read, sleep,study, and/or so i can meditate, yeah i meditate to calm my self down if im really pissed at something that happened that day)

"-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism
(Buddhism is about finding iner peace, not about satan you retards :rolleyes: )

[The STE]

Originally posted by friday13thfan
"-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism
(Buddhism is about finding iner peace, not about satan you retards :rolleyes: )

But INNER peace is bad, according to them. You have to find peace through Jesus. Nevermind the fact that, going by what they say, Jesus is God, and God is everywhere and is, thus, in us, so inner peace would be finding peace through God, and Jesus.

This perfectly logical line of reasoning didn't work with the Jesus people that came through a while ago, so it wouldn't work with these people either probably.

[friday13thfan]

Originally posted by The STE
But INNER peace is bad, according to them. You have to find peace through Jesus. Nevermind the fact that, going by what they say, Jesus is God, and God is everywhere and is, thus, in us, so inner peace would be finding peace through God, and Jesus.

This perfectly logical line of reasoning didn't work with the Jesus people that came through a while ago, so it wouldn't work with these people either probably.

wait according to that jesus/god is a prev he watches us all the time that mean he watches us in the showering and when ever we are naked...... does preverted cristians:mad:

[ShankS]

I wear black socks too work, I think me feet want to be Goth.

[IDrinkYourBlood]

Everyone likes to have a good time, even Jesus Christ turned water to wine.
which by there standerds he's consumed alcohol which means even................JESUS CHRIST IS GOTH!!!!! *univers implodes*