FAvorite Christmas Lyrics

[Vodstok]

What are your favorite christmas song lyrics, they dont have to be funny, but my faorite is.

Merry Fucking Christmas, by Mr Garrison:
I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus
They have different religious beliefs
They believe in Muhammad
And not in our holiday
And so every December
I go to the Middle East and say,
"Hey there Mr. Muslim
Merry fucking Christmas
Put down that book the Koran
And hear some holiday wishes.
In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday.
So get off your heathen Muslim ass
and fucking celebrate."
There is no holiday season in India I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings
And that is just absurd!
They've never read a Christmas story.
They don't know what Rudolph is about
And that is why in December
I'll go to India and shout,
"Hey there Mr. Hinduist
Merry fucking Christmas
Drink eggnog and eat some beef
And pass it to the missus.
In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass
and fucking celebrate!"
Now I heard that in Japan
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods
And put needles in their skin.
On December 25th
All they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan
And walk around and say,
"Hey there Mr. Shintoist
Merry fucking Christmas
God is going to kick your ass
You infidelic pagan scum.
In case you haven't noticed
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
And Merry fucking Christmas to you."
On Christmas day I travel `round the world and say,
"Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too,
Merry Fucking Christmas, To You!"
(Clapping)
Thank you Mr. hat

[newb]

Keeping in the South Park vein.

"A Lonely Jew on Christmas"
-Sung by Kyle

It's hard to be a jew on Christmas.
My friends won't let me join in any games.
And I can't sing Christmas songs,
or decorate a Christmas tree,
or leave water out for Rudolph cause there's something wrong with me.
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity.

I'm a jew, a lonely jew on Christmas.

Hannakah is nice, but why is it that Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating ham, I have to eat kosher latke*.
Instead of "Silent Night", I'm singing "hu, hach, do hachvi.".
And what the fuck is up with lighting all these fucking candles, tell me please.

I'm a jew, a lonely jew-
I’d be Merry, but I’m Hebrew,
On Christmas.

[The_Return]

I love this song WAY too much

Snoopy's Christmas- Royal Guardsmen


The news had come out in the First World War
The bloody Red Baron was flying once more

The Allied command ignored all of its men
And called on Snoopy to do it again.

Was the night before Christmas, 40 below
When Snoopy went up in search of his foe
He spied the Red Baron, fiercely they fought
With ice on his wings Snoopy knew he was caught.

Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ring out from the land
Asking peace of all the world
And good will to man

The Baron had Snoopy dead in his sights
He reached for the trigger to pull it up tight
Why he didn't shoot, well, we'll never know
Or was it the bells from the village below.

Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ringing through the land
Bringing peace to all the world
And good will to man

The Baron made Snoopy fly to the Rhine
And forced him to land behind the enemy lines
Snoopy was certain that this was the end
When the Baron cried out, "Merry Christmas, my friend"

The Baron then offered a holiday toast
And Snoopy, our hero, saluted his host
And then with a roar they were both on their way
Each knowing they'd meet on some other day.

Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ringing through the land
Bringing peace to all the world
And good will to man

[kpropain]

LOL Vod I love that song, I have that on my Winamp.

[Sedated_replica]

Fart

[bloodrayne]

The Night Santa Went Crazy......Weird Al

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Clause, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' bout - the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was sick of gettin' gypped

Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain




This song is SOOO freaking awesome...If you guys haven't heard it, you SERIOUSLY should...

If you can find some way to download it, I strongly suggest it...It really is our favorite Christmas song...Demon Seed, Wicked Lady, and Shinobi love it, too...

Hmmm...If anyone knows how to host an mp3, I could give it to you guys right here in this thread...I still haven't figured out how to do that:mad: ...Little help?

[Stingy Jack]

Keeping with the Weird Al vein:

Christmas at Ground Zero - Weird Al Yankovic

It's Christmas at ground zero
There's music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringing
And the carolers are singing
While the air-raid sirens blare

It's Christmas at ground zero
The button has been pressed
The radio just let us know
That this is not a test

Everywhere the atom bombs are droppin'
It's the end of all humanity
No more time for last minute shoppin'
It's time to face your final destiny

Well, it's Christmas at ground zero
There's panic in the crowd
We can dodge debris
While we trim the tree
Underneath the mushroom cloud

You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
Or Jack Frost on your windowsill
But if someone's climbin' down your chimney
You'd better load your gun and shoot to kill

Well, it's Christmas at ground zero
And if the radiation level's okay
I'll go out with you
And see all the new
Mutations on New Year's Day

It's Christmas at ground zero
Just seconds left to go
I'll duck and cover
With my yuletide lover
Underneath the mistletoe

It's Christmas at ground zero
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke
We're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday

What a crazy fluke
We're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday!

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by Stingy Jack
Keeping with the Weird Al vein:

Christmas at Ground Zero - Weird Al Yankovic

OMG....I was just getting ready to do THAT one, too...lol...Thanks, Stingy :cool:

[Stingy Jack]

Originally posted by bloodrayne
OMG....I was just getting ready to do THAT one, too...lol...Thanks, Stingy :cool:

:cool: No problem.

Did I get it right? I wrote it from memory . . .

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by Stingy Jack
:cool: No problem.

Did I get it right? I wrote it from memory . . . Are you SERIOUS?...*Is extremely impressed*......I cheat...I just copy/paste:p





And, holy cow...You got every single word...*Just checked*...lol

[allmykids]

Chesnuts Roasting on an open fire
Jack frost nipen at your nose BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!

[I_Still_Know!]

Originally posted by Vodstok
What are your favorite christmas song lyrics, they dont have to be funny, but my faorite is.

Merry Fucking Christmas, by Mr Garrison:

Hahah... I love that too Vod.

I had that whole 'Mr Hanky's Christmas Special' on the other day as I was wrapping christmas presents.

That song is a cack. So is Cartman singing 'Holy Night' (title?).

[Vodstok]

I nearly pissed myself when i heard it the first time. garrison is one of my favorite characters, he is so fucking twisted.

I do a mean Mr garrison impression. Also do Mr mackey, mr hankey. Well shit, if its a mister on southpark, i can do his voice.

[urgeok]

i used to be able to do every single muppet when i was younger.

how's that for some horror ?

[dantehorrorfan]

WTF!!!!??? i cant believe nobody has said this yet!!!!! Nightmare before christmas-making christmas,and the nutcracker.....if thats christmas......

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by dantehorrorfan
WTF!!!!???I can't believe nobody said this yet!!!!! Nightmare before christmas-making christmasLOL...I had just thought to do this:cool:




"Making Christmas"
performed by: Danny Elfman (Jack) and the Citizens of Halloween

Clown:
This time, this time

Group:
Making Christmas

Clown:
Making Christmas

Mayor:
Making Christmas, making Christmas
Is so fine

Group:
It's ours this time
And won't the children be surprised
It's ours this time

Corpse Child:
Making Christmas

Mummy:
Making Christmas

Mummy and Corpse Child:
Making Christmas

Witches:
Time to give them something fun

Witches and Creature Lady:
They'll talk about for years to come

Group:
Let's have a cheer from everyone
It's time to party

Duck Toy:
Making Christmas, making Christmas

Vampires:
Snakes and mice get wrapped up so nice
With spiders legs and pretty bows

Vampires and Winged Demon:
It's ours this time

Corpse Father:
All together, that and this

Corpse Father, Wolf Man:
With all our tricks we're

Corpse Father, Wolf Man, Devil:
Making Christmastime

Wolf Man:
Here comes Jack

Jack:
I don't believe what's happening to me
My hopes, my dreams, my fantasies
Hee, hee, hee, hee

Harlequin:
Won't they be impressed, I am a genius
See how I transform this old rat
Into a most delightful hat

Jack:
Hmm, my compliments from me to you
On this your most intriguing hat
Consider though this substitute
A bat in place of this old rat
Huh! No, no, no, now that's all wrong
This thing will never make a present
It's been dead for much too long
Try something fresher, something pleasant
Try again, don't give up

Three Mr. Hydes:
All together, that and this
With all our tricks we're making Christmastime

Group:
This time, this time
Making Christmas, making Christmas
La, la, la
It's almost here

Group and Wolf Man:
And we can't wait

Group and Harlequin:
So ring the bells and celebrate

Group:
'Cause when the full moon starts to climb
We'll all sing out

Jack:
It's Christmastime
Hee, hee, hee

[newb]

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.


You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.


You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.


I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.


You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch.


Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crockodile.


You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch.


The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."


You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.


Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.


You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Grinch.


You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
sandwich
With arsenic sauce.http://www.doomdiva.com/Graphics/grinch.gif