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FairyKorpes
12-16-2004, 03:11 PM
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received
from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will
no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of
being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING"
phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and
information can continue in an effective manner.



1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.



2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting b__ch.



3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this

4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f______ way.



5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh__ing me!



6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh__.



7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f______ problem.



8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?



9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh__ won't work.



10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the h_! __ didn't you tell me sooner?



11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.



12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh__ and die.



13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.



14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary.



15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.



16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.



17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the h___ died and made you boss



18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a pr_ck.



Thank You,
Human Resources

Haphazard
12-16-2004, 03:28 PM
Originally posted by monster-dud
LMFAO!!!!!!Thats good shit!


TRY SAYING:
I find this joke to be rather amusing.
INSTEAD OF:
LMFAO!!!!!!Thats good shit!

FairyKorpes
12-16-2004, 03:33 PM
Originally posted by monster-dud
LMFAO!!!!!!Thats good shit!

Lmao i know eh. I thought omg that is where i work lol.

Death By Jell-O
12-16-2004, 04:04 PM
Ok, that was funny, but just to take it to another level, why is it that America is supposed to be a land of freedom (ie. freedom of speech and so on) yet there's so much censorship. People are offended too easily and it's bullshit.....Fucking whiney bitches....When I lived in Germany, they used nudity to sell butter, yet in America, will you ever see boobs in a commercial? I don't think so.....I could rant and rave about this on and on, but no one would read it, so I'll leave it at this.....Fuck Censorship! Where's the "freedom"?

Haphazard
12-16-2004, 04:07 PM
Originally posted by Death By Jell-O
Ok, that was funny, but just to take it to another level, why is it that America is supposed to be a land of freedom (ie. freedom of speech and so on) yet there's so much censorship. People are offended too easily and it's bullshit.....Fucking whiney bitches....When I lived in Germany, they used nudity to sell butter, yet in America, will you ever see boobs in a commercial? I don't think so.....I could rant and rave about this on and on, but no one would read it, so I'll leave it at this.....Fuck Censorship! Where's the "freedom"?

America sucks!

I'm filling out the necessary forms to become a Canadian.

Death By Jell-O
12-16-2004, 04:09 PM
I'm gonna start my own country.....Who wants to be a citizen?

Haphazard
12-16-2004, 04:11 PM
I'm down.

Can I bring my cat?

FairyKorpes
12-16-2004, 04:19 PM
Originally posted by Haphazard
I'm down.

Can I bring my cat?

Lmao how cute

Haphazard
12-16-2004, 04:21 PM
Originally posted by FairyKorpes
Lmao how cute

Cute, huh? I mean cute, eh?

Back the fuck off! We're not shootin' for cute here!

http://uncommonmisconception.typepad.com/home/cat.jpg

Death By Jell-O
12-16-2004, 04:27 PM
There is no descrimination in my country......It's very free, yet not to the point of anarchy, because anarchy would just plain suck....Bring whatever you like.....

Haphazard
12-16-2004, 04:30 PM
Originally posted by Death By Jell-O
There is no descrimination in my country......It's very free, yet not to the point of anarchy, because anarchy would just plain suck....Bring whatever you like.....

Ok, good.

I'll bring my cat and my toenail clipper.

I'll pick up anything else I might need when I get there.

Death By Jell-O
12-16-2004, 04:31 PM
Welcome to Jell-Otopia.....Population...2...:D

FairyKorpes
12-16-2004, 04:47 PM
I think dude wants to be the town flasher lol.

Death By Jell-O
12-16-2004, 04:49 PM
Which dood? Does he have a trench coat?

Death By Jell-O
12-16-2004, 04:51 PM
Man, just a little advice......A few times it's ok, but constantly spamming with that crap does nothing to benefit humanity.....At least say something intelligent.......If that's possible for you....Which at this point, I'm kind of skeptical.....

Gren the cake
12-16-2004, 06:50 PM
can i be the resident pest of this new country? ill do my best.

yourlastmistake
12-17-2004, 02:15 AM
Originally posted by Haphazard
America sucks!

I'm filling out the necessary forms to become a Canadian.

I say pack your bags and dont let the door hit you in the ass. Georgie boy sez.........

Lirael
12-17-2004, 03:03 AM
Funny! I have such a potty mouth that most of the time I don't even realize I am swearing.

urgeok
12-17-2004, 04:33 AM
Originally posted by Haphazard
America sucks!

I'm filling out the necessary forms to become a Canadian.


Canada rocks !

at least you can get real beer up here :)

filmmaker2
12-17-2004, 06:24 AM
"No, ma'am---no dipshit."

--William Shatner

Haphazard
12-17-2004, 08:25 AM
Originally posted by yourlastmistake
I say pack your bags and dont let the door hit you in the ass. Georgie boy sez.........

Hahahahahaha.

George is a feisty one.

Death By Jell-O
12-17-2004, 08:39 AM
Damn Filmmaker2, your avatar is making me long for some sweet, sweet squirrel cunnalingus........

The_Return
12-17-2004, 02:15 PM
Originally posted by urgeok
Canada rocks !



Damn right it does!! And you better believe it!

Gren the cake
12-17-2004, 07:11 PM
Originally posted by Lirael
Funny! I have such a potty mouth that most of the time I don't even realize I am swearing.

sucks 4 u. im pretty good at turning mine on and off but if im caught off guard then ??????

was in the car with some friends and got hit. i didnt even realize but everyone was lookin at me funny and my friend told me it was just like 2 mi nutes straight of swearing

tight

urgeok
12-17-2004, 07:15 PM
you should here the idiots i used to work with .. the managers swear at the top of their lungs in the offices (everyones a fucking asshole but them)

one female manager used fuck at least 30 times in one sentance .. she was on the other side of the partition and i finally said in a loud voice 'i feel like i'm watching Goodfellas here'
that got a laugh from a few other people who were sick of it too so she changed to saying fuck 30 more times more quietly.

i'm no choirboy but its not something you do in a corporate environment.

stupid motherfuckers.

Gren the cake
12-17-2004, 07:17 PM
:) which is why IM becoming a police officer!!!

for real though. i know in corrections ur not allowde to cuss. when ur lights go on, the camera goes on, and if ur cursin u get in truble

UGH. but i think in the heat of things it would be OK for me to do it. shit. i better check on that!!