Funeral

[meetthecreeper]

Went to a funeral today, before anybody says sorry for my loss, I appreciate it but I never really liked the SOB. I was just their for my mom no one else.

ANyways, anyone else ever been to a funeral?? Kind of boring and not much fun. I want to open the coffin and see if he was really still in their. I didnt even get a chance to look down in the hole:mad:

The coffin was pretty kool looking though, but I noticed that the thing is like locked shut. Now why the Hell is that. Like he is going to burst out of there or something. At first I thought it was to prevent grave robbery but for fuck sake, this aint 1792, any idea how long it would take to dig through 6 feet of earth??

When this body of mine is done, and I move on to the next big thing, I dont want some somber,crying event where everyone is faking being sad and sorry for my loved ones. More than likely they are all waiting around to see what they are going to get or how they can benfit from my kacking.

I want to have a party at my funeral, and on my tombstone they can put this

Meet the Creeper
:) :(
1969 20??

What kind of funeral do you guys want?

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by meetthecreeper
What kind of funeral do you guys want? Honestly?...I'd prefer to have none at all...It just seems like a waste of money to me...And it just makes everyone upset, while dragging out the whole process of dying...Know what I mean?...Maybe not...Maybe it's just me..........Anyway, if it were LEGAL, I'd rather just have someone dig a hole in the backyard, or the middle of the woods (even better), throw me in it and cover me up...Fast, simple, and cheap :)

[juanhacko]

I've been to a shit-pot of funerals--mostly sad, some funny and some downright weird.

But, your right, most of the time you go to funerals you do it for someone besides the deceased--and not to sound like Martha Stewart, but that's a good thing.

Some of the ones I've been to:

Family member--church overflowing.
Family member--2 other people attending,
Other family member--many people, most came to be sure that the deceased was dead.
Grandfather's funeral--hand coming out of ground (his first wife's) to grab the ankle of his current wife.

If you like movie funerals--be sure and watch "Charade", and "The Loved One".

[yourlastmistake]

When I die, I don't want to be stuck in the ground to rot. I want to be cremated and dumped in the sea.
Why spend all that money on a casket and a plot in some cemetary? I would rather leave that money for family.
As far as funerals go, I don't much see the point. Never cared much for many people other than family. Just a small get together for them to remember what an asshole I was would be sufficient.

[voltron]

i would like to attend Dimebags funeral but the family doesn't need a bunch of fanboys around IMO.

[FairyKorpes]

That's why it's better to have a wake. Celebrate the life they lead and celebrate the life they don't have to live.

I will leave money for everyone to get plastered and have a ball.

[bloodygurl02]

i have been to a few funerals. they bore me too

at my grandmas i didn't cry i was like where has she been in my life i hardly knew her. i hadn't talked to her or seen her in 8 yrs. i sat there while my family was crying and i felt akward

at my ex bfs grandmas i was like good shes dead. i wentas support didn't want to b there. and at my ex bfs grandpa me an the ex were begining to have problems so i had to pretend we were still engaged and act happy at my exs request.

last may my current bfs father died i went cuz i wanted to b there for my bf and cuz his father meant alot to me. now my bfs brothers gf she went to kiss ass where as i went cuz i generally missed him and was close to him.

[The STE]

turn me into Soylent Green and feed me to PETA

[bloodrayne]

Originally posted by The STE
turn me into Soylent Green and feed me to PETA *raises hand to volunteer*...OOOH...I wanna do it...*gets out meat grinder*...Let me...Let me...lol

[The STE]

I don't care who does it, just so long as the end result is PETA getting their shit ruined

[BoneSaw]

in most states it is legal to be buried in a special cardboard box. thats about the cheapest way to go. i was at a funeral once, and one of the speakers did not show up. the mans wife asked me to say a few words. i hardly knew the man, and it was hard as hell to inprov a speech when you dont know who you are talking to.

[Gren the cake]

it depends entirely on how ya go

my aunt went and she spent about a month in the hospital. all her family had a good time with her in the hospital and when she finally died and was buried, it was her sisters that cried. everyone else was fine cuz we were all expecting it

my neighbor on the other hand, went to the gym, fainted and never woke up. had a brain aneurism.

both women were at the same age but went out very differently. my neighbors funeral was very depressing, extremely emotional, her father was banging his hand on the coffin "wjhy did u hafto go". her immediate family released doves, her husband almost choked the dove he couldnt let go of it.

as for mine. id rather i went out to where people would have time to say good byes (as in, not shocking) but i do want a funeral. get people together, mourn a bit (nothing wrong with that), say good bye. etc.

[DraculaInDallas]

bring in the taxidermist, stuff me, set me in the corner.......kind of a "Weekend at Bernies" type thing.....:D

[movieman64]

My cousin digs the graves at the small Church he belongs to here in Indiana. The last time I asked him about it he figured he had dug about 100 or so, and thats been a couple of years ago. The graves are really only about 4 feet deep, the coffin is put into a concrete crypt which is sealed. There's only about 12-18 inches of earth on top of the crypt.

[meetthecreeper]

Originally posted by movieman64
My cousin digs the graves at the small Church he belongs to here in Indiana. The last time I asked him about it he figured he had dug about 100 or so, and thats been a couple of years ago. The graves are really only about 4 feet deep, the coffin is put into a concrete crypt which is sealed. There's only about 12-18 inches of earth on top of the crypt.

Yea I noticed the concrete crypt thing, didnt quite understand why that is. Maybe so we can save the enviorment, you know doing it for the children, type thing.

This was in Indiana also in Rochester, maybe your cousin dug the grave.;)

Still doesnt explain why the coffin is locked shut, especially if it sealed in concrete, aint no way in hell you are going to get into that, without making a shitload of noise.

[urgeok]

the mentality behind having a funeral is to give the survivors 'closure'

I'm not sure why. When someone i liked has died i'd prefer to think of them as having 'gone away'
I'm not kidding myself .. i know they're dead but i want my last memory of them to be when they were alive .. not lying dead in a fancy box.
I rarely go to funerals. I've been to 2 in the last 14 years out of respect for the family only. I didn't go look at the corpse.
hopefully I'll never go to one again.

Myself .. i want to be cremated and flushed .. that about it.
If people want to raise a glass after and say 'well, he wasnt too big of an asshole' then that would be enough for me.

(in my case those sentiments may be a little bit too much to expect :)

[movieman64]

Originally posted by meetthecreeper
Yea I noticed the concrete crypt thing, didnt quite understand why that is. Maybe so we can save the enviorment, you know doing it for the children, type thing.

This was in Indiana also in Rochester, maybe your cousin dug the grave.;)

Still doesnt explain why the coffin is locked shut, especially if it sealed in concrete, aint no way in hell you are going to get into that, without making a shitload of noise.

It's not in Rochchester, it's down by North Vernon in the South Eastern part of the State.

You know they place a small document in a holder on the side of the casket which identifies the person inside in the event of some issue after burial. So 1000 years from now they will know who you are, like you would care by then!

[juanhacko]

I've had to probably deal with the arrangements for 40 or 50 funerals--as a survivor.

Here in Texas the funeral industry is pretty much of a money making scam. Probably other places also.

They tend to catch the family at their most vulnerable time and sell them a lot of unnecessary stuff--which many people can't afford. If they have a credit card they are screwed!

The least expensive casket--which is not all that cheap--is either painted computer beige--or electric box gray--and don't even think about the cheap fabric on the interior. Any of the outlet fabric stores should have something better for less than a dollar a yard.

Who is going to dig the grave up to see how well the concrete vault holds up--Are you going to get a court order to see if the warranty is valid?

Here you do not have to be embalmed if you are to be buried very quickly--but try to get out of having it done.

If you are cremated--you still have to be embalmed. Almost sounds like desecration of the corpse dosen't it?

And as for prepaid funerals--A fully prepaid one shouldn't set you back more than 2 0r 3 thousand dollars more.

I'm not connected with the funeral industry--I've just had a lot of dealings with them.

It's not exactly horror but everyone should see "The Loved One" a movie from about 1965.

[SiStinas5802]

When I die I want to be cremated, and have all of my family and friends come to my house and hang out together. I hate church funerals with organs playing, and people wearing uncomfortable clothes, and holding up traffic pissing everyone off. They are just no fun for anyone.

[orangestar]

about these cement crypts, I learned all I need to know by reading Pet Sematary. Apparently they arent that tough to get into.

[juanhacko]

And I have to add the steel vaults are not as waterproof as they are promised either--Of course if they fill will water they take years to drain.

[orangestar]

personally I dont care if it gets a little damp when Im dead.

[allmykids]

Forget the Hurse cause I'll never die. I got 9 lives!!

[movieman64]

Originally posted by allmykids
Forget the Hurse cause I'll never die. I got 9 lives!!

Whats the show where a doctor implants the glands or part of a cat's brain into a human and gives them the ability to have 9 lives? I think it might have been a Twilight Zone/Tales from the Crypt short?

[urgeok]

the worms crawl in,
the worms crawl out
the worms play pingpong
on my snout.

[I_Still_Know!]

Originally posted by urgeok
the worms crawl in,
the worms crawl out
the worms play pingpong
on my snout.

LOL... you are funny mate!!

[urgeok]

i didnt make it up :)

[allmykids]

Originally posted by urgeok
the worms crawl in,
the worms crawl out
the worms play pingpong
on my snout.

LOL!!

[allmykids]

Originally posted by movieman64
Whats the show where a doctor implants the glands or part of a cat's brain into a human and gives them the ability to have 9 lives? I think it might have been a Twilight Zone/Tales from the Crypt short?

AC/DC........ BACK IN BLACK!!

[Haphazard]

If you came to one of my family's funerals...you wouldn't be able to tell if someone just died, or if someone just graduated. Us crazy Italians know how to party.

[urgeok]

Originally posted by Haphazard
If you came to one of my family's funerals...you wouldn't be able to tell if someone just died, or if someone just graduated. Us crazy Italians know how to party.

the weddings are too damn big though !
the poor bride and groom spend the 1st half of the reception greeting everyone and the second half thanking people for coming.

[MichaelMyers]

Originally posted by movieman64
Whats the show where a doctor implants the glands or part of a cat's brain into a human and gives them the ability to have 9 lives? I think it might have been a Twilight Zone/Tales from the Crypt short?

Tales from the Crypt..."Dig that cat, he's really gone" was the title.

[Haphazard]

Originally posted by urgeok
the weddings are too damn big though !
the poor bride and groom spend the 1st half of the reception greeting everyone and the second half thanking people for coming.

So true!

But we ended up with a lot of money. (whether it was clean money or not is debatable).

Which, by the way, came in real handy for the divorce...LOL!

[urgeok]

Originally posted by Haphazard
So true!

But we ended up with a lot of money. (whether it was clean money or not is debatable).

Which, by the way, came in real handy for the divorce...LOL!

ohhh thats nice .. hehehe

i didnt think you guys were allowed to divorce :)

I was at an italian wedding where there WAS mafia presence.
very weird.

[Haphazard]

Well, old school Italians never divorce...they just cheat on each other left and right.

The difficult part of divorcing (AND getting married in the first place) was the bullshit regarding Catholic religion.