The rules of horror?

[daily2362]

I am currently working on a horror novel, as this is my first, I'm looking to break a few rules -- therefore I need to know the rules of horror.
A few I know:
The virgin always lives (x - not in mine)
The religous person lives (x - not in mine)
Teenagers die, but never kids (x - not in mine)
There has to be a wild plot twist or two (v - I have a few)
The killer is never who you think it is (v - got that one)
The killer never dies when you think they do (v - got that one)
....
please help,
LK

[MichaelMyers]

The potsmokers usually die. Guess that eliminates 3/4 of this forum. :D

[Hate_Breeder]

Make the potheads live........that will be a new one

[The STE]

make the killer a virgin pot-head...


...no, a MINORITY who is a virgin and a pot-head. Like, a Black or Mexican or Native American Indian or Natalie from the Facts of Life

[Iniquity]

Originally posted by The STE
make the killer a virgin pot-head...


...no, a MINORITY who is a virgin and a pot-head. Like, a Black or Mexican or Native American Indian or Natalie from the Facts of Life


YES make Natalie the killer and make her kill that damn Blair Warner bitch. With a bong shaped like a cross, that was purchase by a kid from a teenager and the wild plot twist is that the money when to a religous leader who was the killer we thought it was, but died and came back when we least expected it.

[Hate_Breeder]

Originally posted by Iniquity
YES make Natalie the killer and make her kill that damn Blair Warner bitch. With a bong shaped like a cross, that was purchase by a kid from a teenager and the wild plot twist is that the money when to a religous leader who was the killer we thought it was, but died and came back when we least expected it.









































Wow

[The STE]

Nonono, the killer is...




Richard Linklater, who kills them using a series of Rube Goldberg like contraptions that start when they open their front door, and you think it's gonna be quick and end with a bag of old rotary phones crushing them, but NO, BITCHFACE!!! It ends when they get in their car where the mouse, startled by the cigar lighter, runs on his wheel which causes the small pin to pop the balloon which startles the victem, then they turn around and Richard Linklater beats them to death with a copy of Dazed and Confused. Then, they hang him with the film reel for Under the Tuscan Sun, which has nothing to do with Linklater, really, but the movie should be put to SOME use, don't you think? But then, WHAMMY (Blammy zowy powwy) he comes back to life, rapes the virgin to death, catapults Jack Black and some kids into a brick wall OF DOOM!, Rabbi Jeremiah in Ohio trips over some haggus, and the twist is that crack was developed and distributed by the government to destroy the black community.

[wufong]

Originally posted by daily2362
I am currently working on a horror novel, as this is my first, I'm looking to break a few rules -- therefore I need to know the rules of horror.
A few I know:
The virgin always lives (x - not in mine)
The religous person lives (x - not in mine)
Teenagers die, but never kids (x - not in mine)
There has to be a wild plot twist or two (v - I have a few)
The killer is never who you think it is (v - got that one)
The killer never dies when you think they do (v - got that one)
....
please help,
LK
go think up your own ideas, ya talentless bastard. gessh if ya can't come up with a plot on ya own how the fuck are ya gonna write a entire book. i bet you're with that angels movie thingie in new members. you idea stealing loser piss off!

[Hate_Breeder]

Originally posted by wufong
go think up your own ideas, ya talentless bastard. gessh if ya can't come up with a plot on ya own how the fuck are ya gonna write a entire book. i bet you're with that angels movie thingie in new members. you idea stealing loser piss off!

[bwind22]

Originally posted by wufong
go think up your own ideas, ya talentless bastard. gessh if ya can't come up with a plot on ya own how the fuck are ya gonna write a entire book. i bet you're with that angels movie thingie in new members. you idea stealing loser piss off!


HB beat me to it, but just so there's no confusion....


You got...

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/misc16.jpg

[The_Return]

Originally posted by wufong
go think up your own ideas, ya talentless bastard. gessh if ya can't come up with a plot on ya own how the fuck are ya gonna write a entire book. i bet you're with that angels movie thingie in new members. you idea stealing loser piss off!

Ive been waiting for a good excuse...


http://www.fun4gamers.nl/showtime/fun/owned30.jpg

[massacre man]

if your black you die :( poo that sucks

[Hate_Breeder]

Originally posted by massacre man
if your black you die :( poo that sucks

Not usually in Romero movies..

[Death By Jell-O]

The #1 Rule is it always spawns innumerable sequels.

[Chainsaw Guy]

Here is a list of things and situations that usually apply to or happen in scary movies- they are very predictable, plus some basic rules about what to do and what not do if you want to stay alive in one, just in case the option ever comes up, LOL. So, read on, it just could save your life:



~ If you turn out the light, don't worry- the room won’t get dark, it will just become a shade of dark blue.

~ If you hear a noise outside, or even in another room, and go to investigate it, you will be murdered.

~ Never inspect something hanging from a ceiling, it will fall on you....

~ A killer is never officially dead until buried, they often jump up for one last kill. Watch you back....

~ Never, I repeat, never, answer a door.

~ Just because someone has a voice like the inspector or has a badge, doesn't mean it's really him. They stole his badge....

~ Don't go into a room alone, that's where the killer is.

~ Virgins are the only one’s who survive.

~ Drugs and alcohol will get you killed.

~ Don’t run upstairs, it’s a dead end.

~ Locked doors never stay locked, so don’t even bother. A simple axe or kick will open them, so it's a waste of time.

~ Don’t run into the woods.

~ There is often more than one killer, so don’t be surprised if they surround you, or if you just left a room with him and he is now in this one.

~ The killer is never who you suspect, so don’t judge people, they will eventually turn on you.

~ Cars always mean chases and crashes.

[urgeok]

your car wont start untill the last second - after several frantic tries .. and only after the killer has smashed a window or jumped on the roof.

also car related ... feel free to run the killer over a few times.
he'll just get back up.

oh .. and if you do knock the killer down ... dont pick up the gun/axe/shovel and finish the job ... just walk gingerly past his body giving him time to grab your leg on the way by.



say .. reading this ..... the rules of horror are kinda dumb arent they ..

[The STE]

Dear Talentless Hack,

Hey, instead of musing over what the rules are and writing a cliché-ridden swill-tome that wouldn't get published if you sucked off the publisher, hows about you ignore the rules and write your horror novel or whatever based on LOGIC. If the characters are smart, then that will force you to write a villain that is smart, and it will probably be scarier that way. But you can't write smart characters if you yourself are a dumbass, can you?

Verily,
Fuck You

[EXTR3MIST]

By not following the rules, he can avoid cliches- or better still, create all new ones.

[Steve_Hutchison]

Originally posted by daily2362
I am currently working on a horror novel, as this is my first, I'm looking to break a few rules -- therefore I need to know the rules of horror.
A few I know:
The virgin always lives (x - not in mine)
The religous person lives (x - not in mine)
Teenagers die, but never kids (x - not in mine)
There has to be a wild plot twist or two (v - I have a few)
The killer is never who you think it is (v - got that one)
The killer never dies when you think they do (v - got that one)
....
please help,
LK
Make the heroe a male.

[daily2362]

Thank you all very much, especially to the kind person who had me in stiches with his rules of how not to die in a horror film.

One of the latter replies hit right on my thinking, once I am equiped with all the hundreds of don't dos in a horror film, my characters can go out of their way to avoid these clichés. This is why I've asked for everyone's help.
There are too many writers, producers, editors, and studios ripping off one another's ideas. Yes it works and yes it makes them money, but how many times can Freddie Kruger die? How many times can Chuckie come back to life?
I guess you've heard Alien Vs. Preditor has a squeal coming (great... the only way to kill most of these villans is to stop throwing money at their creators and "Hollywood").
It's time for something original, some new ideas and maybe, just maybe, if enough cliché riddled rules are broken or bent or just plain left out, it will be worth reading and with any luck scare the shit out of you.
Thank you all again, and keep the ideas coming.
Lawrence

[Heretic_Ideals]

I like STE's story should make a low budget independent film of it man.