home wrecking

[g star]

i'm in love with a married woman. she hates her husband but doesn't have the balls to change her situation. plus she's got a six year old son who she obviously is very concerned about. nothing physical has happened between us and nothing will until the papers are signed, but she's hot for me, i'm hot for her and to top it all off her son LOVES me. my question is what do i do:

A. continue being the flirtatious friend and try to get her out of her situation, then strike

B. strike now, be "the other guy" and hope she will leave him for me

C. stay the hell out of it. get over my crush and let her figure out her life on her own.

D. other

i'm losing sleep and sanity over this rollercoaster. my friends say "stay away." her friends say "keep at it." maybe the advice of strangers (for the most part) will be the deciding factor.

please help me HDC.

[MichaelMyers]

Originally posted by g star
i'm in love with a married woman. she hates her husband but doesn't have the balls to change her situation.

Tell her to grow some balls. ;)

[Sistinas]

Im no Dr Ruth but I say option C.Let her work out her problem and if she leaves him swoop her up.

[g star]

sage advice sis, but i think she might need a kick in the pants to get her to leave him. i might be the guy with just the foot to do it.

[fluffho]

I'd also say C. be friends with her if u want and maybe flirt, flirtin is always fun. but id try and keep feelings at bay especialy since shes stil in that situation.

if shes ready to get out of it fine, but til then i wouldnt pursue anything. just not worth it.

many fish in the sea :)

[Sistinas]

Originally posted by g star
sage advice sis, but i think she might need a kick in the pants to get her to leave him. i might be the guy with just the foot to do it.


It sounds like a touchy situation and I really cant say what I would do.Ive never encountered something like that.

[fluffho]

i honestly think she should do it on her own. maybe u can be motiation but in the end it must be her own decision.

[friday13thfan]

C

[pbenvin]

Take it from someone that has been there before. Take her somewhere quiet, have a few (dozen) drinks, and get to wrecking her tight ass all night long. Trust me, it'll work wonders.

[evil_blonde]

I say D, but i dont know what your solution is, hopefully ive been of some help :rolleyes:

[Stingy Jack]

I don't know what you mean by "I think she needs a kick in the pants to leave the guy." What, exactly, does that entail? Is it something as small as telling her to leave him for you, or something as large as telling him she wants to leave him for you?

In my experience, most people don't leave a marriage because of security. They have been in it a while, have become used to it, and don't want to risk the uncertainty involved in starting over ... even if they have another person lined up. Take a tiger that has been caged up in the zoo for years. He adapts. Becomes used to it. Claims it as his home. If released into the wild, the tiger would return to the cage on his own if given the chance. That's the nature of things.

So, my advice to you is to offer her security. Make room for her and her child at your place, make sure you have a job that can support the additional bills, and be kind to her. But that's it. If she feels secure enough with you, she'll come to you. If not, she won't.

But don't push it. That goes against the feeling of security she's going to be looking for.

[ShankS]

Why doesnt she have the balls to tell her husband?? Whats the reason for not telling him??....... is she scared of the concequences for herself, him of both of them, or is she scared of him or what he might do. Does she really want to leave him, or does she see a relationship with you as an escape out of the one she's already in?

I'm only asking this, because I've heard and given some advice to a few people I know personaly, in similar situations over the years, most have ended differently, but there will always be an 'injured' party.

You both really wana make 100% sure that being with each other is going to be right thing, otherwise any doubts either of you have will most definitely cause you to start reconsidering your future actions, and this will cause even more grief, because If one of you can't commit 100% to the other then there's no point in attempting to wreck a marriage.

All to often there's a reason behind why a woman is finding it difficult to leave a partner... you really need to find out what this reason is and why, because she may say she is 'hot' for you simply because she is looking for an escape from a situation/relationship she feels uncomfortable being in.

[wufong]

eeeewwwwww i wouldn't touch her wit ha ten foot pole. no way not even with the ten foot pole in my pants no sirree. i mean how could you ever trust her? once a cheater always a cheater. besides she is prolly just using you as a excuse to leavee her hubby. i dont know. if she isn't then just disregaurd everything isaid.... everyone else does

[Arioch]

Ive been in this situation before....its never pretty on any side....ESPECIALLY when your best friend is ALSO trying to get the girl away from her loser boyfriend.....

Goodluck and i really hope she dumps the loser and gets with you....im pullin for ya man....alls fair in love and war.... but people die in both...

[mothermold]

for what's worth i'd say C.and remember..."you can't thouch that honey without smokin' the hive."lotsa luck.

[g star]

thanks for all the insight. to clarify a couple things though... she is NOT cheating on her husband. as i said earlier, nothing physical has happened. about her marriage, it was shotgun wedding, she was 24 and pregnant, he was 44 and an asshole. she's now thirty and full of life and spunk, he is 50 and drinks too much, doesn't leave the couch and pays no attention to his wife except to verbally abuse her. she sticks around because of security, fear of how a divorve will affect her kid (she's got a crazy notion she might lose custody). her personality is very laid back and non-confrontational which is why i said she may need "a kick in the pants" to get her out her situation. anyway, thanks for all the advice and keep it coming.

[nine9]

Well I just broke up with my husband.......so I know how it feels to make the break. It is a really scary thing to do. It has to be right in her heart to do it. She probably is afraid of what her life will be like alone, and maybe is not quite sure of your comittment.

I think though that you can truely one love one person. If she really loves you she WILL leave..............she won't have a choice.