#1  
Old 08-21-2009, 08:51 PM
niyorco
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"Eat"

Screams away me,
from a goodnight's rest.
Sheltered beneath my sheets.
Body covered in cold sweat,
I sense my madness and it eats.

A shadow sits aside my bed.
Legs crossed and hands together.
His faceless grin and eyes of red,
signs my sanity wont last forever.

My eyes gaze,
throughout my room.
Words mumbling with no understand.
A torture future,
I now presume.
I'll take a victim with merciless hand.

Years I ignored this little bubble.
But knew it grew withing my pit.
Hoped it would leave with no trouble,
too late now for here it sits.

"I know you."
I tell the shadow.
"I'm not surprised of your presence.
Youve been with me since my cradle,
the reason for my life unpleasent.

Evil thoughts you gave my head.
I pushed away from my mind.
A few selected you wanted dead.
I resisted so many times.

So many thoughts of hell's fire and heat.
For all the lives I will take.
Slowly my conscience this shadow did eat,
and left my mind in a sinful state.

"You think it's wise that you are here,
in the preasence of my home?
I'll take the lives! I have no fear!
First I'll end your's, by ending my own!"



(I wrote this one about two years or so ago. Thought I would share it with you all) :D

Last edited by niyorco; 08-21-2009 at 11:42 PM.
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  #2  
Old 08-22-2009, 12:21 PM
Doc Faustus's Avatar
Doc Faustus Doc Faustus is offline
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Rhythmically awkward and the rhyme doesn´t quite serve it. Sharpen your ear for language.
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  #3  
Old 08-22-2009, 07:27 PM
niyorco
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Faustus View Post
Rhythmically awkward and the rhyme doesn´t quite serve it. Sharpen your ear for language.
Thanks, but I'd prefer to leave it as it is. I appreciate you reading it.
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