#1  
Old 01-24-2010, 04:06 AM
alihassan alihassan is offline
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Help with my story

Hi Guys,

I am like stuck big time with a story which I have in mind, the purpose is to shoot a small budget movie and I have a big time writers block.. if any of you guys can help me out even a little I think I might be able to sail through...

Here is the story in a nutshell...

The Main character has lost his younger sister a year back but the reason still remians un-known, the police investigation has come up with nothing and he has no clue about her strange dissaperance...

She was about to join her friends on a road trip from college and they wanted to go camping somewhere...on the way to met her friends her cab breaks down and she is forced to stay in a hotel which is about 60 kilometrs from the city, until the cab is fixed so that she can join her friends for the trip. The cab drivers tells her to stay put in that hotel and goes to get some help...

A year later the brother starts having these visions where he is taken to a parallel world in a place which resembles the same hotel his sister had stayed.. which obviosly he doesnt know.
The idea is to un-cover the mystery of the sister's dissaperance through his visions.. its like his sister is trying to tell him something through his visions/dreams...

===========


So this is the plot in a nutshell I know the whole special effects thing of shooting in front of the green screen.. and make the scene kinda scary but if you guys can also chip in I would really really appreciate it!


Thanks in Advance!

-A
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  #2  
Old 01-24-2010, 12:28 PM
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Doc Faustus Doc Faustus is offline
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What are you trying to say? What is your story about? If you don't know what message you're trying to convey and what themes you're dealing with, then of course you'll have trouble. Right now, what you have is "ummm....scary stuff happens". For you to know what scary stuff, dig deeper, what interests you? What do you want to talk to people about? How do you want to scare them? Do you want to creep them out with sexual and existential dread, do you want to make them feel how disconnected people can be or do you want them to vomit with terror as a five year old girl with icy blue skin and buttons for eyes bites into a human heart like an apple? THINK! Also, for once Barbara Bush was right: Reading Is Fundamental.
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  #3  
Old 01-29-2010, 08:39 AM
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sopater sopater is offline
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How about as the story unravels you find out the hotel was either once an insane asylum, or was built on the grounds of a previous one. Inject a little madness into your tale I suppose. Just an idea, good luck with spinning your tale. :):cool:
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Old 01-30-2010, 08:26 PM
kninemark2 kninemark2 is offline
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are you set on it being parallel world?
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  #5  
Old 01-30-2010, 09:09 PM
alihassan alihassan is offline
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Hi Guys,

@sopater: You know that is actually a pretty nice idea about the hotel being a asylum!!but why is the main character getting those visions about that hotel, there should be something which should connect him to make the story believable.
So i guess the plot where his siter dissapers might help, I just have to workout a screenplay then as the basic idea is pretty clear....


@ Kinnemark: When I say parallel world I mean, whenever the character gets those dreams he is taken to a place where he has never been and as a viewer we can actually see that, I was thinking shooting him in front of a green screen and then in turn I can use that footage and place it with an image of some abandon hotel rooms or long hallways... but if you have some ideas which you can help me with its more than welcome and yeah just remember no idea is a wrong idea so just put them up :-)

-A
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  #6  
Old 01-30-2010, 11:10 PM
neotank neotank is offline
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Maybe the visions show that she found some kind of Gateway to another world/dimension. So the brother goes down to the hotel and finds some bizzare doorway that leads him into another world where she awaits.

Although that sounds a little high budget, so you can always do the whole 'she was kidnapped and taken somewhere to be used against her will as a prostitute' type of story.
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  #7  
Old 01-31-2010, 12:56 AM
alihassan alihassan is offline
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@ Neo: Thanks for the tip!

The first bit is really cool about the "gateway to another dimension" but i think if i do that the story wouldnt have a motive and the main character would be like, now that I have found her then what?? and also since I am going the route where I show that she is dead it gives me to add some supernatural element as well (low budget ofcourse :) )

So I definately want the sister to be dead... now what I am thinking about is how the brother finds the hotel. i have to give him definate clues through his visions which would relate to the real world and he ends up finding this hotel and then what happened to his sister. So in my screwed up mind I have to derive some inteliigent clues now :-)

-A
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Old 01-31-2010, 09:30 AM
kninemark2 kninemark2 is offline
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Just some ideas.

Movie opens up with Sister as the main character until she is brutally murdered at the hotel. (Try not to go to psycho with this)

Openning Credits

Cut to brother leaving mental asylum having been discharged after an emotional break down following the dissapearance of his sister. He decides to return to the family home. While at the family home he starts to have visions of his sister, starting with 'help me'. Believing he is going mad he does nothing until he starts to see places he's never been.

After some tooing and froing he decides to embrace his visions follows them to the rural location. Fill it with lots of hicks and people unwilling to talk make our charcater all on his own. The visions get stronger and frequent at the villiage until at the dead of night he goes exploring the woods and starts to dig. He uncovers the body of his sister and the final vision also reveals him to be the murder.

Obviously needs some fleshing out, bu you get to do slasher horror, some j horror and a clever twist at the end.

For kicks and giggles you have to work the tell tale heart into the storyline somewhere
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  #9  
Old 02-07-2010, 07:34 AM
neotank neotank is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alihassan View Post
@ Neo: Thanks for the tip!

The first bit is really cool about the "gateway to another dimension" but i think if i do that the story wouldnt have a motive and the main character would be like, now that I have found her then what?? and also since I am going the route where I show that she is dead it gives me to add some supernatural element as well (low budget ofcourse :) )

So I definately want the sister to be dead... now what I am thinking about is how the brother finds the hotel. i have to give him definate clues through his visions which would relate to the real world and he ends up finding this hotel and then what happened to his sister. So in my screwed up mind I have to derive some inteliigent clues now :-)

-A
Well, as far as intelligent clues go--it shouldn't be too hard to do. If he has visions of her drive out to the hotel, their would be distinguishing clues, landmarks, a twisting road, shops, gas stations, anything that could tip him off. If it is a rural area, it would be easier, seeing as all the motels and stores are smaller and unique.

Just don't give him a vision of an address. I always think that's too simple and lacks creativity.
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