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#1
01-02-2004, 08:21 PM
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Untitled Script Excerpt For short horror film
Hey folks,
Just started working on a short horror script with another forum member and we thought we'd see what you guys thought about the first couple of scenes. Feedback is greatly appreciated. - Copyright 2004 - Arthur R. Phillips - FADE IN: EXT. ROAD - NIGHT We are on a dark, paved road with a few houses scattered here and there along it's length. Two hitch-hikers are standing along the side of the road, sharing a smoke and discussing the general absence of a ride. Perhaps one or two vehicles go by but nobody is interested in stopping. The hitch-hikers have with them some basic camping gear that's strapped to their backs. TOM Why not ? MICHAEL I'm not trudging back across no goddamn field to sleep in a fucking crackhouse, I mean did you see that place ? TOM We don't have to go inside, we can sleep out in the field MICHAEL And get shot by some drunken rednecks no thank you TOM Don't be a fucking pussy MICHAEL Excuse me ? TOM Don't be a fucking pussy, besides, I'm freezing my goddamn ass off MICHAEL tosses the cigarette into a ditch and looks around. He's hoping someone will still stop. TOM(CONT) Well ? MICHAEL Fine, we'll go back to Bates Motel, but if some guy with a chainsaw pops out of the woods i'm leaving your ass there TOM Fine MICHAEL (resigned) Let's go CUT TO: EXT. FIELD - NIGHT - MOMENTS LATER MICHAEL and TOM are strolling across the field, waving flashlights back and forth. MICHAEL is particularly nervous but TOM seems to see this as an adventure of sorts. MICHAEL I don't like this TOM You sound like my ex MICHAEL During sex right ? TOM Asshole, you've watched one too many of those stupid horror movies that's your problem MICHAEL Horror movies can teach us a lot TOM Like what ? MICHAEL Like don't go into a dark field at night without a machete TOM I have a lighter MICHAEL Well that's great if we wanna singe the killers eyebrows TOM How about you stop whining (indicates with the flashlight) There's the house MICHAEL I thought we weren't going in ? TOM We're not, we're camping outside MICHAEL drops his stuff. MICHAEL Fine, we stop here TOM (dropping his pack) You know this little road trip was your idea not mine MICHAEL unrolls a sleeping bag, and flops down, lighting another cigarette. TOM stands there looking around. MICHAEL Looking for the axe wielding psycho ? TOM I heard something MICHAEL Probably a bear TOM A bear in this area ? MICHAEL Well okay, a deer ? TOM I think it came from the house MICHAEL Well maybe, big fucking deal, I'm sure whatever it is doesn't need us poking our noses around TOM I'm gonna go check it out (beat) You coming ? MICHAEL Fuck no TOM Oh c'mon for God sake MICHAEL No TOM Fine, you wait here and wait for the bears and the deers TOM walks off whistling. So far, so good. I hope. - HodderFan2004 
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#2
01-02-2004, 08:29 PM
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Hotness.
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#4
01-03-2004, 01:54 PM
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good so far, it honestly kept my interest.
__________________
Good.....Bad......I'm the guy with the gun.
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#5
01-03-2004, 04:54 PM
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Hey guys thanks !.
You can check more in the fiction section of the forums. I'll be posting the rest there as well as i get it written. HodderFan2004
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