#1  
Old 02-07-2009, 10:13 AM
FearKross FearKross is offline
Scares Little Kids
 
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I wrote a story...wut do u think about it?

Chapter ONE

It was about 6:00 o' clock in the morning and work was at seven thirty. Today was going to be a hrad day at work. I knew for a fact it would be. All the advertrisments on TV that we have put out is going to keep the emails and phone calls coming. I work for Microsoft, you get about 20,000 emails every 3 months and with numerous of computer problems. I work hard all day and night, some times I stay up for days without going home to rest my head upon my pillow I call hell. It's really starnge how I am one of the only people who work as hard as I do. I know a few people who get up at 5:00 and be to work by around 5:45. They say it's better but I was never an early bird like that. Even though phone calls are easier to take because you just explain it once BUT, emails are different. You get about 500 emails a day with about 2,000 reports per person. It's a stressful job and is on the very top of the list for the 'Extreme Jobs' placed at #1.
I got up and brushed my teeth and brew my fresh spot of tea and opened my window to smell the wonderful cedar wood. It smells as if the day was new and the earth turned away from sin and let the world shine.
I live in a small town in Utah. Amazing views. You can see wonderful green grass, beautiful smells of freshness, Mountains that go on for miles, and nice lakes. It snows constantly in the winter and as well as the fall. Every now and then, you can see some left over snow in the spring. It's so peaceful here.

I drank my tea and started to get ready for the day such as a little touch of cologhn, teeth brushing, clothing, and hair slicked back. Im a big buisness man.
My name. My name is Jack. Plain old jack. I don't have a last or middle name. Just Jack. After I was done getting ready I picked up my car keys and got in my car for work. I opened the garage and and started to pull out. Wait...
Ahh its proboly nothing.


Authors Commentary:

I know its starting off slow as every story does but its a horror so it won't take too long. If you would like to read the full version for free then please email me at: [email protected]

More chapters are coming soon.
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  #2  
Old 02-08-2009, 04:16 AM
X¤MurderDoll¤X's Avatar
X¤MurderDoll¤X X¤MurderDoll¤X is offline
so bad they call her boss
 
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this reminds me of the time I was looking in the attic for a book, and found the diary I used to write in when I was 5.

If you are not 5 and are actually 15 or something, I would consider trying to make sentences even more awkward to the point of hilarity. keep the same story though, plain old jack the businessman is gold.

by awkward I mean write more of them like this:

"It's a stressful job and is on the very top of the list for the 'Extreme Jobs' placed at #1. "

let me know when my tips get you published, hun. ;)
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Last edited by X¤MurderDoll¤X; 02-08-2009 at 04:33 AM.
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Old 02-08-2009, 11:23 AM
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Despare Despare is offline
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Why 20,000 emails every three months? Why not a couple hundred a day? Why not about seven thousand every month?
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Old 02-09-2009, 02:49 AM
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X¤MurderDoll¤X X¤MurderDoll¤X is offline
so bad they call her boss
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Despare View Post
Why 20,000 emails every three months? Why not a couple hundred a day? Why not about seven thousand every month?
It's a stressful job and is on the very top of the list for the 'Extreme Jobs' placed at #1
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Old 02-09-2009, 10:20 AM
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milktoaste milktoaste is offline
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I've met a few 'big business' men, but never one that called himself a 'big business man'. They usually carry some sort of title. Is checking E-mails his job, is he the honorary e-mail checker? 500 e-mails times 2,000 problems per e-mail equals the most stressful job on the very top of the list for the 'Extreme Jobs' placed at #1. But does that equate being a 'big business man'? Maybe he's realy just a normal business man, or the mail boy with grand delusions of meeting a friend online.
I would like to read more, you should post chapter 2.
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Old 02-09-2009, 10:40 AM
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The_Return The_Return is offline
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This is the most beautiful, touching a deeply felt piece of literature that I have ever read.

Not only do I want you to post more: I don't know if I can survive without it!
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