Pizza Man-Short B&W Slasher (5:07)

[Toddallthingshorror]

Hello guys
Just a small bit of background, feel free to skip right to the short

Once upon a time I used to want to make movies for a living. I got a 4 year video certificate, made a website, made a bunch of shorts...then decided to join the Army, start a family, then get a real career

Now in my late 20's I really got the itch to start making stuff again...so I said fuck it and got my buddies and wife to take part.

Here's Pizza Man. A short film revolving around an angry customer waiting for his late pizza to arrive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWPwyW_A7xc

And here's a short Halloween film I did before Pizza man and before I decided to get proper lighting equipment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjBhjyID6Jc

If your wondering why Halloween starts off like that its because it was meant to be at the end of my part 2 of ranking the Halloween series which you'll find below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKlJAAteyBU

Feedback appreciated. Also feel free to check out the channel. I give a ton of free shit away if your into free stuff.

Thanks for watching, thanks for having a really active forum, and thanks for welcoming the new guy into the various conversations I've posted on.

[SerialKiller]

Couple of comments. I love the pizza man film for several reasons. 1. It hits close to home. Everyone orders pizza! I myself order pizza once or twice a week. Last week actually, your film crossed my mind while waiting on the delivery boy to show up. I had originally watched it when you first signed up, & thought it was a brilliant idea. I don't know of any movies with a killer pizza guy? And it's kind of unsettling because you are inviting strangers to bring food to your home, usually after dark too. It's scary because any psychopath could be showing up, you just never know. 2. I'm a total Michael Myers whore, so I enjoyed your other video as well. The mask looked really good which is important to me, it's one of my pet peeves. I can't tell you how many lame MM masks I see on Halloween night.

[Toddallthingshorror]

Hey thanks alot for watching both of them. I made some mistakes with Pizza Man and cut a bit out of the story. I originally had the pizza man killing the actual pizza boy but I cut it out to keep it short. I feel you though. You don't know whos actually coming to your house when you call for food or even a contractor.

I'm glad you liked the mask. That's a big deal for me as well when making these. I could have gone cheap and grabbed a 15 buck myers knockoff but it would have looked like shit.

I hope you stick around for the next shorts coming up.

[dan spam]

pretty good movie - a lot can be done in your own house with limited locations etc..

[Toddallthingshorror]

Originally Posted by dan spam

pretty good movie - a lot can be done in your own house with limited locations etc..

Thanks for watching. The next two won't be in the house so that should shake things up a bit.

[Repo'd]

I liked the Halloween vid. Post some more stuff!

[Toddallthingshorror]

Originally Posted by Repo'd

I liked the Halloween vid. Post some more stuff!

Hey thanks for watching. What didn't you like. Im seeking feedback from people other than friends who probably wouldn't tell me like it is haha.

Ad for more, we're shooting this friday.

[Repo'd]

Originally Posted by Toddallthingshorror

Hey thanks for watching. What didn't you like. Im seeking feedback from people other than friends who probably wouldn't tell me like it is haha.

Ad for more, we're shooting this friday.

I'll start with what I like about pizza man. I love that you tried. I've worked on a few small film projects and I know how much effort it takes to even get to the filming process, so good on ya for just doing it.

I enjoyed some of the camera angles and the framing. It contributed quite a bit to the general atmosphere of the short.

Other than Otis, I don't know of any other film that features a killer pizza man, and Otis didn't do his killings while on the clock. Nice work there.

Nice economical and effective script.

What I didn't like.
Well, I usually keep it all positive, but since you asked�
I think a short filmed at home or a friends home, shouldn't have so many sound issues. It's one thing that your lack of budget shouldn't have a profound impact on. Re-shoot, dub or something. You're shooting indoors, in a controlled environment, in a place that ( I assume ), you have liberal access to. Sound shouldn't be so troubling. I do speak from some experience, please keep that in mind.This isn't a bitch fest, it's meant to be constructive and I hope it comes off that way.

I didn't like the performance of your lead. I didn't hate it either. There just seemed to be an energy level that the role called for, that he didn't reach. Still, assuming he's not a professional actor, bravo to him. Takes balls to get in front of a camera and emote.

These are my main complaints and they were enough to doom the short for me. If you don't like the lead talents performance, it pretty much kills any chance of loving the material. He did a nice job in the Halloween short, so maybe it was the role itself? Dunno.

Anyway, I like what you're doing, and I think the writing in Pizza Man was quite good. I hope to see more of your work here. If these are your first productions, I'm extremely impressed.

[Toddallthingshorror]

Originally Posted by Repo'd

I'll start with what I like about pizza man. I love that you tried. I've worked on a few small film projects and I know how much effort it takes to even get to the filming process, so good on ya for just doing it.

I enjoyed some of the camera angles and the framing. It contributed quite a bit to the general atmosphere of the short.

Other than Otis, I don't know of any other film that features a killer pizza man, and Otis didn't do his killings while on the clock. Nice work there.

Nice economical and effective script.

What I didn't like.
Well, I usually keep it all positive, but since you asked�
I think a short filmed at home or a friends home, shouldn't have so many sound issues. It's one thing that your lack of budget shouldn't have a profound impact on. Re-shoot, dub or something. You're shooting indoors, in a controlled environment, in a place that ( I assume ), you have liberal access to. Sound shouldn't be so troubling. I do speak from some experience, please keep that in mind.This isn't a bitch fest, it's meant to be constructive and I hope it comes off that way.

I didn't like the performance of your lead. I didn't hate it either. There just seemed to be an energy level that the role called for, that he didn't reach. Still, assuming he's not a professional actor, bravo to him. Takes balls to get in front of a camera and emote.

These are my main complaints and they were enough to doom the short for me. If you don't like the lead talents performance, it pretty much kills any chance of loving the material. He did a nice job in the Halloween short, so maybe it was the role itself? Dunno.

Anyway, I like what you're doing, and I think the writing in Pizza Man was quite good. I hope to see more of your work here. If these are your first productions, I'm extremely impressed.

Thanks for the response

I'm glad you mentioned sound because that's just one thing I haven't masterd. Now are you talking about background noise or hard popping sounds when thr characters were moving around? Alot of the sound fx, bottles moving, fridge door, front door, computer sounds, bathroom etc were all added in post. So if those are the issue perhaps I didnt blend them in correctly.

As for thr acting. Yeah that's something I don't grade hard when watching amater films because unfortunately nobody, unless you recruit from a film school, is going to be good at acting.

I played the lead which you didn't like and I see your issues with the performance. I did seem bland and rrally stiff. . I wish I didn't have to be in them but unfortunately I don't have a large pool of "actors" to pull from. Strange that you liked my character better in halloween. I thought I was better in pizza man!

The good news is that I won't be acting in the one we're making friday. But the bad news is the lead hasn't been on camera yet..so we'll see how that goes.

These are my first productons since I used to make vhs movies with my friends in HS. So basically my first "real" production.

I truly appreciate your feedback and am eager to see what you think of the next one.

You mentioned you spoke from previous experience, do you have anything online I could take a look at?

[Repo'd]

Originally Posted by Toddallthingshorror

Thanks for the response

I'm glad you mentioned sound because that's just one thing I haven't masterd. Now are you talking about background noise or hard popping sounds when thr characters were moving around? Alot of the sound fx, bottles moving, fridge door, front door, computer sounds, bathroom etc were all added in post. So if those are the issue perhaps I didnt blend them in correctly.

As for thr acting. Yeah that's something I don't grade hard when watching amater films because unfortunately nobody, unless you recruit from a film school, is going to be good at acting.

I played the lead which you didn't like and I see your issues with the performance. I did seem bland and rrally stiff. . I wish I didn't have to be in them but unfortunately I don't have a large pool of "actors" to pull from. Strange that you liked my character better in halloween. I thought I was better in pizza man!

The good news is that I won't be acting in the one we're making friday. But the bad news is the lead hasn't been on camera yet..so we'll see how that goes.

These are my first productons since I used to make vhs movies with my friends in HS. So basically my first "real" production.

I truly appreciate your feedback and am eager to see what you think of the next one.

You mentioned you spoke from previous experience, do you have anything online I could take a look at?

The new lead hasn't been in front of the camera? Try a screen test before committing to any one to be on screen. Its a pain in the ass but NOT doing so has been a huge detriment to a few things I've work on.

Speaking of which, and to answer your question, no. No, if the stuff I've worked on is out there, I have no desire to promote it. There was a time when I felt quite the opposite, but I'm concentrating on an 18 minute short that we're in preproduction on. It's just me and friends, but we're going for it. When that's done, you can count on me prostituting myself in earnest to get it seen. I think that will represent where we are now creatively better than anything done 3 or 4 years ago. Not to mention, I'm in THOSE and that's NEVER going to happen again. LOL! Screen tests!!

Thanks for taking the criticism well, it's hard for me to say anything negative when i feel so positively about the effort itself, but, again, you asked.

The sound was just uneven and it seemed like there wasn't any kind of design. Are you using a boom system? Those are excellent and are pretty easy to get a handle on technically. A half way decent boom operator is a huge asset.

You were fine on screen. I just think horror is the hardest thing to for any actor to play, and getting the adrenaline in the right place for it is no easy task.
You did a lot better than most of the amateur talent I've worked with! I do know it's a hell of a lot easier to handle all the director and producer stuff if you don't have to concentrate on a role.

Anyway, I hate staying negative and there are plenty of good things in both of those vids. Keep it up, and anything you think you can improve on will happen through hard work. Besides, don't listen to me. I watch good movies and so far have only made bad ones. Fuck critics.