#11
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Thanks I really appreciate.
Gonna start some re-writes.
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#12
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you're welcome.
hope it turns out the way you want. :)
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stop the world - I want to get off |
#13
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Ok, I haven't read it all yet, but I have a few critisisms...
Instead of saying what seems to be a joint you should say what it is, it's a screenplay and needs as much detail as you can give it... so it should read "They are smokeing a joint" maybe even with more detail again.. Also you wrote "she pulls out a big bag of coke" then when she is putting it away it is a vile? it needs to be one or the other... I'll read on.
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Quote: Originally Posted by Phalanx Because you want his maggot ridden dick dontcha |
#14
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Just sent you a PM
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"Little, vicious minds abound with anger and revenge, and are incapable of feeling the pleasure of forgiving their enemies." Earl of Chesterfield "A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well." Francis Bacon |
#15
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Thanks everyone so far for reading it.
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#16
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Quote:
I'm getting mixed signals.
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#17
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Killing someone in my eyes is the ultimate pissed. He freaks out because she lies and then he killers her. What more can he do? He then kills the others.
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#18
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stop the world - I want to get off |
#19
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Yeah, lets thrash it out here......
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Quote: Originally Posted by Phalanx Because you want his maggot ridden dick dontcha |
#20
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exactly, now I'm just curious.
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stop the world - I want to get off |
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