Last Seen Contemporary Movie

[Tommy Jarvis]

Imaginary 2024 ★★★

Two and a half stars for an overall entertaining and solid PG 13 horror with some good visuals and a solid cast. The kind of movie that makes you want to imdb half the cast. Tom “Jesus” Payne kind of looks like a Dutch singer called Waylon. Also add a half star for at least an attempt to tackle a real life fear (will the family of my new partner accept me as a stepparent and what if they don't), be it perhaps not really subtle.

A few of the jumpscares are well executed, but they are certainly not all zingers. The story was also a bit too predictable with the stepdaughters turning around, the big reveal about the mom and the fake out near the end. Or with Gloria turning on them. As I said, subtlety is not this movie's strong suit.

That said, a fun night out for people who enjoy the Blumhouse style.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Prey for the Bride 2024 ★★½

Okay little slasher, but with a kind of predictable plot and killer reveal. Not so spoil but (if you know, you know) it contains a spoon of corn syrup

The kills are okay. Basically your standard stabbings and one to keep you eye on. Downside: the most bitchy character gets the most disappointing kill.

The Breed 2006 ★★

A house on fire explodes and Michelle Rodriguez comes out completely unscathed, because there's no bollocks like B-movie bollocks.

While the idea in itself has some good moments – granted, I was afraid of dogs as a child and recently watched Cujo again, so it's not all that hard for me to find violent dogs frightening – and in more competent hands, it could be better. Some of the chase scenes are well done, and Michelle Rodriguez is great in the scene with the cable line and the garage. Then again, other moments cannot help but look silly: the dogs on the wing of the plane, some of the dialogue (especially Dollar Store Paul Rudd and his “big brain responsible” brother), the ending,...

Not even Brad Pitt's boxer from Snatch would like these dags.

Black Mirror: USS Callister 2017 ★★★½

BM: We are taking Star Trek...
Me: Oh, a wholesome story about nerd escapism?
BM: And we will turn Kirk into a colossal sociopathic twat.
Me: There we go. That's the BM I know.

This was however written by a fan – I think – and the finale was more exciting than some of the original Star Trek episodes. Also good at showing the pettiness of dictators. Nonetheless, by Black Mirror standards a pretty staightforward and lighthearted affair. Which does not make it any less well written and made, mind you.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Black Mirror: Arkangel 2017 ★★★½

Helicopter parents end up having the helicopter blow up in their face and the rotor cut off their head. With a feminin spin of Oedipus to boot.

This can stand on its own and be a powerful social drama. Now it does not blow you away the same way some of the other BM episodes did, amongst others because - from a storytelling point of view - it's pretty staightforward and fairly predictable. Does that make it any less well executed, acted,...? Of course not.

El Conde 2023 ★½

Not sure why, but I totally was not on board with this one.

All I saw was a poorly done Spanish Wes Anderson-pastiche with neither the esthetics nor the charm of the quirky characters. I did not get a single laugh out of this one and the vampires often seemed like an aftertought.

The Teachers’ Lounge 2023 ★★★★

The teacher's lounge (aka Das Lehrers Zimmer) is a tought provoking movie on themes like prejudice, racism and jumping to conclusions.

We follow Carla Novak, a math teacher who seems like what we nowadays consider an old school liberal. Standing up for what she believes is right. When a thief is going around stealing things, she makes the bold decision to try and set up a trap. She then tries to work things out with the supposed suspect, but then of course things really go south.

This story is mostly carried by the actors and they all do a great job. Leonie Benesch as Carla, caught and torn between her ideals and principles and her professional surroundings. Tormented by the idea by whatever she does in good intentions only seems to make things worse. I wonder how much of a conscious choice it was to give this character a Polish background. Both actors in the Kuhn family. Both reacting so fiercely that the suggestion something deeper is involved also surfaces.

It also never really takes a side and it does not have a clear cut ending. In fact, the ending switches between different emotions. How the final confrontation between Miss Novak and Oskar switches between harsh and a beautiful shared moment with the Rubik's cube. Even the final shot of Oskar and the policemen can either be seen as sad and grand. While he will probably get in deeper trouble now, he is still carried out on a throne of sorts. Highlighting different emotions. How those who want to can find common ground. And also how well meant actions can inadvertently lead to far reaching consequences.

It's not the most comfortable watch, but recommended for people open to thought provoking movies. And to subtitles.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Immaculate 2024 ★★★★

After a few bad experiences, I started to feel like religious horror was growing stagnant again. Luckily, Immaculate (together with some recent Islam-inspired movies) picks up the slack. First four star horror of this year in my opinion.

We kick off with a strong opening, with a nun fruitlessly trying to escape from the monastery, with a bit of The Vanishing to top it off. Also to the credit of the filmmakers, they at least don't go for the “five weeks earlier”-trope.

Fast forward to the introduction of our main protagonist, sorella Cecilia. For a mainstream horror, it does its best to recognize the beauty of the Italian language, but they still could have done more. I'm cool with subtitles and we all know the main reason for not putting in more non-English dialogue was the fear of frightening American teenagers.

But let's stop the nitpicking. Immaculate overall is a well paced moody reli-horror where the short runtime works in the movie's favour, thus not allowing it to lag. In order to achieve that goal, they sometimes rely pretty heavily on jump scares. So if you hate them with a passion, that will be a downside. Personally, I thought they were well done and they did not bother me. On the contrary the first few worked rather well. As did the reveals. Why sister Isabelle is so cold and even the somewhat predictable bit of “ehmagerd, they knew this stuff all along”. Or the funny bit about how a convent has this fancy schmancy technology at its disposal.

The gore is sparse at first, but becomes more and more explicit (and exquisite) as the movie goes on. With a gruesome ending topping it off with the most intense birth scene since Inside.

Well recommended. Check it out.

The Herd 2014 ★★★½

Melanie Light delivers a more than decent horror short. With enough gore to tide the hounds over, an ending that's as happy as possible under the circumstances and a bit of a (Spaceship Troopers-ish) twist to boot.

The better this sounds to you, the more this is recommended. And vice versa.

The Farmhouse 2022 ★★★½

Fun little Spanish short about a foulmouthed, cool 12 year old.

All's well that ends well and a neat little twist at the end.

That spells solid short in my book.