Huge horror fan, also actor, looking for opinion on latest short

[scottymwatson]

Hey guys!

I'm a lifelong horror fantastic who is also an actor. While I act primarily on the stage, I would love to become a horror icon ala Christopher Lee. Below is a free link to my latest short HOMER, where I play a redneck named Bob. The movie is based upon the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark which created many a nightmare in our youths. Let me know what you think of the short!

https://vimeo.com/143816149

[MichaelMyers]

Couldn't find any women?

[Morningriser]

wow that was horrible!

[Giganticface]

I was involved in a short film once (did the soundtrack and theme song), and know how much time and effort it takes to put something like this together, so I don't like to be too critical. However, I hate to say it, overall the piece was pretty hard to get into.

On the positive side, you were easily the best actor of the three. The guy who played Al was hard to watch, but you look like you've done it before.

If you're going to go for a somewhat long short (20 minutes), the first 15 minutes need to give the viewers more than two guys being bored in a cabin. We have no reason to like these guys, and no reason to empathize with their decline into boredom. Once something finally did happen, no explanation, backstory or mythology was used to give credence to the supernatural element, and the one action sequence was not strong enough to reward the viewers for the long, flat buildup. The final set piece, however, was pretty effective, and might have been a fair enough payoff had the first 19 minutes been cut to about 5.

Keep it up! You've got some talent, but your crew needs to tighten up the script, improve the writing, and maybe get Al some acting lessons. Good luck!

[Sculpt]

Originally Posted by Giganticface

I was involved in a short film once (did the soundtrack and theme song)

Really?! Cool, Gigan! Can I check it out?

[Sculpt]

Originally Posted by Giganticface

I was involved in a short film once (did the soundtrack and theme song), and know how much time and effort it takes to put something like this together, so I don't like to be too critical. However, I hate to say it, overall the piece was pretty hard to get into.

On the positive side, you were easily the best actor of the three. The guy who played Al was hard to watch, but you look like you've done it before.

If you're going to go for a somewhat long short (20 minutes), the first 15 minutes need to give the viewers more than two guys being bored in a cabin. We have no reason to like these guys, and no reason to empathize with their decline into boredom. Once something finally did happen, no explanation, backstory or mythology was used to give credence to the supernatural element, and the one action sequence was not strong enough to reward the viewers for the long, flat buildup. The final set piece, however, was pretty effective, and might have been a fair enough payoff had the first 19 minutes been cut to about 5.

Keep it up! You've got some talent, but your crew needs to tighten up the script, improve the writing, and maybe get Al some acting lessons. Good luck!

I agree with Gigan. Buildup wasnt much enjoyable. characters arent likeable, not that funny, a bit of overacting, repetitive sequences (shouldnt attempt to actually display boring -- bore viewers), a bit too many shots are static.

Needs more plot, character development (likability/empathy), would have liked to see scarecrow movement slowly increase.

[Giganticface]

Originally Posted by Sculpt

Really?! Cool, Gigan! Can I check it out?

I feel like it's bad form to divert attention from this guy's topic, but sure, here it is:

The Templetons


Pretty much everything that's a background sound or music I did, along with the theme song that plays during the closing credits.

There's also a sequel, which improves on the first episode in a lot of ways, but I wasn't available to do any new music for it. They reused my theme song and some other bits and pieces.

[Sculpt]

Very nice, Gigan! The music was very evocative to what was going on in the story. Punk is a strong counterpoint to the 50-60s Leave it to Beaver setting. Love you went smooth warm jazzy in spots in a sitcommy way - helped draw me in with some comfort.

Nice use of the herbert boland scream; sounded just like the little girl kill mom scream from NOTLD.

Nice chops on guitar. BFF your active band?

Only critique is, with my TV sound, Schafer has the background music too loud in the mix; was hard to hear some of the dialog.

[Giganticface]

Thanks, Sculpt!

BFFs was just a made up name I used for that song so it would seem like an actual band, and not just one guy playing all the instruments & singing vocals.

I agree with the sound mix. The music is too loud in several spots. The writer/producer (my buddy Matt Voss who brought me in on the project) had the same opinion.