Last Seen Contemporary Movie

[Tommy Jarvis]

Cursed 2005 ★★★½

In 2005, the much missed Wes Craven gave us Cursed. A werewolf movie written by Kevin Williamson with a pretty well filled cast with either big names (Christina Ricci, Joshua Jackson) or people who would go on to do big projects (Jesse Eisenberg and that guy with the moustache from Parks and Rec).

And Chachi.
What's a chachi?
Fuck if I know.

Since it's written by the mind behind Scream, you know that you get a well written story. As a viewer, you understand Ellie's struggles – not in the least with the office bitch played by Judy Greer – and her brother is the type of annoying pipsqueak written to fit Jesse Eisenberg like a glove. On the other hand, the subplot with the bullying and the outing is a bit forced now.

Bo: I'm gay.
Jimmy: I'm not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
(Jerry and George off screen: No, of course not!)

With Wes Craven, you get a director at the helm who knows how to work with actors. So he brings out the best in Ricci, Eisenberg and the others. Even Pacey looks good in a part somewhat different than what people know him for.

The only problem is the special effects. Especially the transformation scenes. Pretty sure Wes was not too happy with that either, since the CGI made it look atrocious. But that's probably where some studio exec steps in and explains how better CGI has not been invented yet and how practical effects are “too expensive”. And it looks good to him, so shut the fuck up.

Luckily, the fight scenes were better. Shame there were not more of those. Since in a movie universe with all these versusses, I kind of want to see this werewolf fight the one from The Howling. Talk about hell in a cell. Glen Jacobs would take one look at that and he'd be like: ah hell naw.

Overall a fun watch and a fun ride. For werewolf fans and a fun addition to your Craven collection.

Them 2006 ★★★½

For some reason, I remember this (partly) being a found footage. Turns out this was just filmed in the traditional style.

This is a good solid home invasion horror about a couple being terrorized by a gangof neighboring kids. For the fairly short runtime, it does manage in setting the characters well enough for the viewer to sympathize with the main characters.

Also good idea never to show the gang all too clearly. The few times you hear them talk... I don't know, prepubescent kids and voices just are not all that scary. Even though I am sure that kids that age are capable of this type of viciousness.

The final shot of Clem still holds very well.

For fans of films like Eden Lake.

P2 2007 ★★

Interesting way to create a confined space for the main characters. The resulting movie, however, keeps giving the impression that they could have done more with this idea.

Wes Bentley (aka Camera Guy frm American Beauty) is just no scary villain and the lead was not all that convincing.

Red Eye did a lot better with a similar premise.

[Tommy Jarvis]

The Ruins 2008 ★★★½

Jeff: Four Americans on vacation don't just disappear.
Womp womp. Sometimes they just do, Jeff.

Netflix does us a solid. How about that?

The Ruins starts off with four friends enjoying the typical tourist zombie stuff: beach, booze, bed, repeat. Until the most cultured one of the group (do a shot for every time the script mentions he's going to be a doctor) gets an opportunity to actually see stuff and drags the rest into a hairbrained scheme that turns out to be their undoing. The scene with the masked road. Every fiber of your being screams out this is a really bad idea. But they... ah, fuck it.

The characters were a nice change of pace compared to earlier 2000s horror. With well written characters who were at least convincing as friends. Maybe they went a tad out of their way to make Jeff so gosh darn likable, but that's nitpicking. They were written well enough for me as a viewer to want to see them survive and the most sympathetic one gets it in a horrific way. Well done, mister Smith. Good job.

I also like the switch they pull on us with the locals and the plants. Shooting a kid, shooting their friend... yaips, these people don't mess around. But the genuine evil waiting for them is much worse. Crawling up on you if you stay immobil for too long, being able to mimic sounds, getting into your body through open wounds,... Which actually makes for a nice open ending. Will she save herself or infect the rest of the world and cause even more havoc?

For fans of Netflix horror. There is some good stuff on there. You just have to find/stumble across it.

The Loved Ones 2009 ★★★★

I have seen this one pass by on a few of the many many Youtube-lists (Top 10 horror movies so and so, umpteen horror who this and that... 8, 9, 10, 11, ball park numbers really). Now that I finally got around to watching it, I can only say that it delivered on its premise and cult reputation.

The loved ones is a solid Aussie horror on a girl named Lola. She is alone, the boys will not ask her to go the dance with them, and if the boys don't come themselves, well... guess we'll just have to bring them in then.

After we set up our main characters, it gets messed up real damn quick, with a scary kidnapping and an almost dead moment. From that moment, we go on to a progressively worse piece of torture porn, revealing throughout what has really been going on, with a full circle moment to round it off. Only made worse by the (forcedly) cosy atmos between the father and the daughter. The Tanners meet the Sawyer family from Texas Chainsaw. With a hint of incest thrown in for that extra bit of discomfort.

What can I say? I was into it. Sympathizing with the main character, rooting for him to escape. And the end delivers two punch the air moments when the main bad gets
run over.

Well recommended for fans of (Aussie) horror. Good stuff.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Saint 2010 ★★★★

A horror comedy centered to one of the most confusing holidays when you are not from these parts. Wether it's the Zwarte Piet issue or the fact that a lot of non Dutch cannot tell Saint Nicholas apart from Santa Claus. Or the fact that a nation whose inhabitants are notorious for their thriftiness have two occasions in less than a month where they go all out on lavish presents. This is set during the start of the 2008 bank crisis, but as a voice on the radio puts it: people spent more than ever on presents.

Being a Dutch movie, we get some of that standard Dutch cheekiness with a scene of students giving each other presents in class (Teacher: Gee, that's the sixth dildo this year. That beats the previous record of five.) and one of the girls takes the opportunity to break up with our lead boy.

So what about the bad stuff? Turns out the holy man from Spain was in fact, a murderer and a thief and now a ghost who goes on a killing spree every time there's a full moon on his day. That's when we get to the carnage and believe you me, there's a good chunk of it. Making this a sort of goresoaked Gremlins.

And a spectacular scene of the police chasing a man riding a horse over the rooftops. For practical reasons, all filmed in CGI now. So sadly, no repeat of the infamous canal chase scene in Amsterdamned.

It's all in good fun and Dick Maas proves he still has the craft that made his work stand out in the eighties with De Lift and the aformentioned Amsterdamned. Sure, the ending is a bit of your typical climax, with a post adventure scene and a bit of sequel bait to cap it off. But it was well done and deserves an attentive audience.

If you enjoyed Maas' previous work, you will certainly enjoy this one.

Grave Encounters 2011 ★★★

As a found footage, it did not really stand out all that much.

Don't get me wrong. The opening scenes had the whole style down of this particular type of “spectacular” reality show. Mythbusters is the first show that comes to mind, but I am fairly certain that there is other more supernatural related programming that they managed to mimic very well.

And then there are the special effects. Seeing them in a found footage is already pretty rare as such and having them as well executed as they are here definetily adds to the film.

So the film has its merits and the third star is deserved. But I have seen this formula better executed in other flicks. Decent, but run of the mill and vice versa. And I can certainly see why people would love this one.

For people who just discovered FF and are starting to dig.

Would You Rather 2012 ★★★

Would you rather is a horror about choices that's easily linked to similar flicks like Saw, The Belko Experiment or even Hounded or The Purge (Pretty sure The Purge: Anarchy had a similar storyline).

I liked it. Sure, it has the tropes of the genre: the self sacrifice, the mad host, the butler who is just as good at poaching eggs as he is at kicking ass, the arrogant, self-entitled son (let's call him Don junior),... but it keeps a solid pace, so I never got bored with it. Even though, it was obvious early on who it would come down to. I also kind of expected the half dead tough guy to make a comeback, but they did not go for that low hanging fruit.

The characters are no Shakespeare, that's true. Then again, normal, levelheaded people do not get themselves into the sort of situation where they have to rely on this type of maniac. So there are only two ways you can go with these characters: either make them the type of sleazebags John Heard does so well, or the sad orphan type character that's supposed to break your heart like with Brittany Snow's character.

The acting? Meh. I thought it was okay for what it was. John Heard and Sasha Grey got characters that suited them and Jeffrey Combs was delightfully hammy as Lambrick. His rejoicing in the suffering made him an excellent villain.

One more thing I would like to mention is the ending. I don't say this very often, but this one was needlessly cruel. I get the all for naught-feel it was supposed to get across. I just doubt wether or not this was really needed. If the writers had gone with Amy as their main characters, it might have worked as a cumuppance. But now? Torture! Huh! Good god, y'all. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

For fans of torture porn and Hunger Games-like survival stuff.

[Sculpt]

Originally Posted by Tommy Jarvis

Grave Encounters 2011 ★★★

As a found footage, it did not really stand out all that much.

Don't get me wrong. The opening scenes had the whole style down of this particular type of “spectacular” reality show. Mythbusters is the first show that comes to mind, but I am fairly certain that there is other more supernatural related programming that they managed to mimic very well.

And then there are the special effects. Seeing them in a found footage is already pretty rare as such and having them as well executed as they are here definetily adds to the film.

So the film has its merits and the third star is deserved. But I have seen this formula better executed in other flicks. Decent, but run of the mill and vice versa. And I can certainly see why people would love this one.

For people who just discovered FF and are starting to dig.

Would You Rather 2012 ★★★

Would you rather is a horror about choices that's easily linked to similar flicks like Saw, The Belko Experiment or even Hounded or The Purge (Pretty sure The Purge: Anarchy had a similar storyline).

I liked it. Sure, it has the tropes of the genre: the self sacrifice, the mad host, the butler who is just as good at poaching eggs as he is at kicking ass, the arrogant, self-entitled son (let's call him Don junior),... but it keeps a solid pace, so I never got bored with it. Even though, it was obvious early on who it would come down to. I also kind of expected the half dead tough guy to make a comeback, but they did not go for that low hanging fruit.

The characters are no Shakespeare, that's true. Then again, normal, levelheaded people do not get themselves into the sort of situation where they have to rely on this type of maniac. So there are only two ways you can go with these characters: either make them the type of sleazebags John Heard does so well, or the sad orphan type character that's supposed to break your heart like with Brittany Snow's character.

The acting? Meh. I thought it was okay for what it was. John Heard and Sasha Grey got characters that suited them and Jeffrey Combs was delightfully hammy as Lambrick. His rejoicing in the suffering made him an excellent villain.

One more thing I would like to mention is the ending. I don't say this very often, but this one was needlessly cruel. I get the all for naught-feel it was supposed to get across. I just doubt wether or not this was really needed. If the writers had gone with Amy as their main characters, it might have worked as a cumuppance. But now? Torture! Huh! Good god, y'all. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

For fans of torture porn and Hunger Games-like survival stuff.

Grave Encounters
It's really hard for me to drum up much interest in seeing ghosty visuals and jump scares with the found footage and the institution settings cause it's just so, so old to me. But I know any genre or topic can be done really well. For me there would have to be a really good story and rich characters, and it's rare to find that in horror films like this. Blair Witch did it, but it's very rare.

As far as photo realistic found footage, Chronicle (2012) was eye popping, and good film in general. Ever see that?

The V/H/S 1 & 2 have some crafty photo realistic found footage shorts. Plus, each short is short, so if you don't like one, you don't have to wait long. Most are pretty nasty, but usually more of a ghost story, or just kind of explores a concept or technique.

Would You Rather
After watching it a while, I decided I would rather not. It is what is : torture porn. Decent production value. They could have gone more the Saw route, or any route, but they really just put lipstick on a faux plot.

[Tommy Jarvis]

Originally Posted by Sculpt

Grave Encounters
As far as photo realistic found footage, Chronicles was eye popping, and good film in general. Ever see that?

I don't think I have. What year is it from?

I like found footage, though, even if only for the few times they hit the nail on the head. My personal faves are Rec, The Poughkeepsie Tapes and VHS 2.

[Sculpt]

Originally Posted by Tommy Jarvis

I don't think I have. What year is it from?

I like found footage, though, even if only for the few times they hit the nail on the head. My personal faves are Rec, The Poughkeepsie Tapes and VHS 2.

Chronicle (2012)

[Amaltheaunicorn2023]

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[FryeDwight]

THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS (1991). Sort of a parable of "The Haves" VS "The Have-Nots", a Young boy makes an effort to help his family and not lose their home by going to his Landlords residence. To say it's very strange there would be an understatement...think of a total Funhouse set up.

This had a decent premise, but was just a little too weird for Me and found it more amusing than anything else. **

[Sculpt]

Originally Posted by FryeDwight

THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS (1991). Sort of a parable of "The Haves" VS "The Have-Nots", a Young boy makes an effort to help his family and not lose their home by going to his Landlords residence. To say it's very strange there would be an understatement...think of a total Funhouse set up.

This had a decent premise, but was just a little too weird for Me and found it more amusing than anything else. **

Agreed. I was mildly entertained with People Under the Stairs. Definitely a weird one.

Speaking of Funhouse... what did you think of Tobe Hooper's The Funhouse?

[FryeDwight]

Originally Posted by Sculpt

Agreed. I was mildly entertained with People Under the Stairs. Definitely a weird one.

Speaking of Funhouse... what did you think of Tobe Hooper's The Funhouse?

Not a bad little film; nothing I'd want to watch constantly, but some creepy parts.