Room for Rent South of Heaven

[sopater]

Here's another short story I wrote.

Room for Rent South of Heaven

The advertisement for the room for rent was concise and affordable. How could I say no? So there I was in my new room and in charge of my life. Ahh the smell of independence, and my first night in my very own place, does life get any more liberating than this.

Knock knock, and I open the door to what looks like a man who sleeps during the day and festers about at night. His eyes were darkened circles and his skin was pale white, but he seemed friendly.
“The names Gigonad and I live across the hall, I just wanted to welcome you to 616 Beelzebub Street.” He said.
“Thank you.” I replied.
“You look like the kind of guy that likes to hang his close on hangers.” Gigonad said.
I took it as a compliment and thanked him. He told me that if I hear any banging in the night not to worry about it. It was just Hector who for no apparent reason takes a lead weight bar and mercilessly pounds the top of his fridge with it every once in a while. Other than that he’s harmless. Oh great I thought to my self, but what was I too do with the rent being already paid.

12:00am in the night. Bang bang! My first night and I awaken to a violent pounding noise. What the, then I realize its Hector, the man with a hatred for refrigerators. I slowly open my door and I can here someone screaming.
“Bed bugs! There all over me!” Bang bang!
As I make my way through the darkened hallway I see people’s faces in the crevices of the house lit up like Halloween pumpkins, then I realize it’s just their crack pipes. The fumes are enough to get high off by the second hand smoke. I’m seriously starting to regret renting this room.
“Hey buddy! Don’t go downstairs.” One of the human jackolanterns says.
“Why not?” I ask, and they all respond with laughter.
Just as I’m about to go downstairs Gigonad reaches for my arm and asks me if I want a toke from his pipe. I decline from his invitation, and proceed down the stairs. He yells that it’s a freebee and the next one might not be. Hey I’m a student and smoking crack just doesn’t fit with school, homework, and studies. Not to mention diet and exercise but that’s another story altogether.

I finally get to the basement and I can here what sounds like a cacophony of screeching cats and insane moans. The door says 666 and I push on it. It slowly swings open and lying on the floor is what looks like a half human half insect with a pulsating sack protruding from its mouth. It starts to contract its stomach muscles and the sack starts to rip open as millions of bed bugs burst out of it. Well that was enough for me as I high tailed it and ran up the steps to get back the way I had come. I ran completely out of the house and was running so fast I stumbled and almost fell. That’s when Gigonad came outside right behind me.
“I see you met Leachy.” Gigonad said.