Masters Of Horror

[The Villain]

After a brief conversation i had with Nini_luv5 about the Masters of Horror series, i decided to revisit them and watch each episode. I've also decided to post reviews after watching each episode for the sake of conversation.

Beginning in 2005, creator Mick Garris brought several famous horror writers/directors to create a series of horror movies shorts. This was the first episode.

Incident On and Off a Mountain Road
This first episode was directed by Don Cascarelli whose most notable movie is Phantasm.

In the film, Ellen played by Bree Turner (The Ugly Truth, My Best Friends Wedding) gets into a car accident on the side of the road after she hits another car while distracted by her radio. When she awakes she checks on the car she hit and finds a trail of blood leading from the car to the woods. Upon following the trail she is shocked to find a monster of a man named Moonface dragging the victim of the car behind him. The film then follows Ellen as she tries to escape Moonface as he chases her through the woods.

First of all i have to say that the title of this episode is just terrible. It couldnt possibly get any more vague and uncreative. It might as well just be called Stuff Happens.

The movie switches back and forth between Ellen's escape through the woods and moments of her life with her husband Bruce played by Ethan Embry (Can't Hardly Wait, Vegas Vacation.) Bruce is a insufferable survivalist tool who is constantly spouting out pointless life lessons that offer no advice or insight into any situation. Its just as vague as the title of the movie.

There are constant scenes of Bruce teaching Ellen how to fire a gun and throw a knife and other tips like hes training her to be an assassin wherein he's really just a nut. He's also a huge jerk as he calls her pathetic and a whore numerous times.

However it seems as if all his stupid survivalist crap seems to stick with Ellen as instead of just running away (which is horror movie 101) she creates stupid traps that do nothing but waste time. This is annoying and makes Ellen a very unlikable heroine in my mind but at least it shows that Bruce's strange lessons are actually pointless.

Until later when his survivalist lessons actually come in handy. What kind of message does that give off? That it was good that her crazy abusive husband gave her stupid advice and pointless training for when she would have to fight the mud people (An actual thing he says will rise up one day) That makes her seem even more unlikable in my opinion.

The movie also stars Angus Scrimm who is most known for his role as The Tall Man in the Phantasm movies. He plays a crazy old man named Buddy who Moonface keeps as prisoner. Buddy is way too over the top and comical and distracts the movie from what is going on at the time. His role could've been completely lifted out of the movie and nothing would have been lost.

Without giving anything away, i also disliked the ending as it seemed out of character and contradictory plus there was a cheesy one-liner which i really hate. The only thing i liked was Moonface but even he was basically a generic giant killer.

On a scale of 1 to 5:
2

[Nini_luv5]

Originally Posted by The Villain

On a scale of 1 to 5:
2

Completely agree...

[Fearonsarms]

Yeah there were better episodes than this-still haven't seen Valerie ON The Stairs oddly.

[The_Return]

Yeah, that one was less than stellar for sure...personally though I thought Scrimm was pretty much the best part though. Sure he was pointless and over-the top, but the rest of the movie was so painfully dull and predictable that he seemed like a breath of fresh air. At least he was something a little different.

Lots of great shit in this series though, I was a huge fan when it first started - looking forward to the rest of your reviews.

[The Villain]

I'll probably watch another later today and post a review afterwards.

Next up, Dreams In The Witch-House

[Angra]

Originally Posted by The Villain

I'll probably watch another later today and post a review afterwards.

Next up, Dreams In The Witch-House

Get ready for another disappointment.

[The Villain]

Originally Posted by Angra

Get ready for another disappointment.

Thanks for the heads up

[TheWickerFan]

I guess I liked 'Incident' a lot more than everyone else. It's one of about half a dozen episodes I thought were quite good.

Incident On And Off A Mountain Road
Cigarette Burns
Sick Girl
Imprint
The Screwfly Solution
The Washingtonians

I'm with Angra about Dreams In The Witch House. Kind of dull.

I look forward to the rest of the reviews.:)

[neverending]

Moving to correct forum...

[The Villain]

Dreams In The Witch House
Stuart Gordon (The Reanimator) once again adapts a HP Lovecraft story.

Now i'm a fan of Lovecraft but i haven't read this one (still working through the Necronomicon) So i'm not sure how this holds up in comparison to the story.

It stars Ezra Godden (Dagon) as Walter Gilman, a young Grad student studying portals into other universes (go figure) who takes a room at an old boarding house that looks like it should be condemned. There he meets Frances and her baby Danny.

Soon after moving in, strange things begin happening just as you would expect. Things like noises in the walls, strange dreams, a creepy neighbor and a rat with a human face that just looks ridiculous. Eventually Walter finds out that his room contains a doorway to another universe where a Witch wants to use Walter to kill Danny to continue her ritual of killing children for whatever reason, its never given.

Let me say that the story to this movie is intriguing and if done right could have been interesting and scary. That being said, there is absolutely nothing scary about this episode. Walter overacts every scene he's in especially when hes trying to come off as afraid and instead just seems comical. The rat as i said just looks stupid and whenever it talks (yeah it talks) it makes it even worse.

There's no credible build up at any point in the movie. We never even see Walter besides his time at the house. There's no reason to care about him at all and even him studying portals into other worlds only gives you an explanation of how the Witch can do what she can which isnt really important anyway. His creepy old neighbor is the one who lets him know about the Witch and provides somewhat of a background for her and the story but even that goes nowhere.

Also the portal thing isnt even done right anyway as at one point, Walter just smashes through the wall to where the Witch is. Is she in another world or just behind the wall? What's also sad is that the rat is a bigger villain then the Witch as nothing she does comes off as powerful or intimidating, she just seems like an old lady.

Filled with one-dimensional silly characters, bad acting and lame visuals this episode is just stupid, silly and dull. Don't bother with this one.

On A Scale of 1 to 5:
1