here is some more of my loving..........

[scaryminda15]

poetry. lol . ok he is a poem about school.

i like going to school
but the kids are a drag
i like learning its cool
and i dont mean to brag
but i am pretty smart
by getting awards and honors
i feel like someone throwing me like a dart
i feel my energy getting taking away like those blood donors
sometimes i am happy
sometimes i am sad
people give me a look of disgust which makes me feel crappy
and they make fun of me which makes me mad
this poem was about my school
and i would like to know what you think
so was it cool or is this poetry alot of bull
should i keep going just give me a wink
if i shouldnt give me a look
of sadness and crazy
but i dont really care, but its time to go read a book
or just be completely lazy.



what do u think?!?!?!?!?

[lionels_mother]

i think that would have worked out better if you hadn't tried to make it rhyme

[The_Return]

Two tips:

- Dont focus so much on rhyme scheme
- Longer is rarely better

Here's a poem that I wrote that you might like:


Have You Ever...?

Have you ever sat down
With nothing to do, simply
An intent
to write

Have you ever stared
At the blank page, wondering
Why Bother?

[VampiricClown]

It's not bad. Not my taste in poetry though.

Here's one.....


Re-Awakened to the darkness
Black is all I see
Standing in the corner
A shadowy figure staring back at me

How did I get here
And what are my options
In this black abyss
I am at a loss of thoughts

Knowing my time is near
Heavy breathing is all I hear
Finding nothing to bring the light
I will not find myself in this darkness

^^^^ That I just wrote sitting here.

Here is a shorter one. Somtimes poem's should be short. It makes them better a lot of times.



In my heart, I feel a pain

Painted wrists, With dried Bloodstains

Hear my cries, And leave me alone

Your true innerself, You have shown



These are more of my style.

[The_Return]

Long poems can be good as well. Here is one of my all-time favourite poems. I think we all could learn from this, and I know I try to live this way as much as possible.


If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

[The_Return]

Yours arent bad VC...however I must say, not my taste.

[VampiricClown]

Originally posted by The_Return
Long poems can be good as well. Here is one of my all-time favourite poems. I think we all could learn from this, and I know I try to live this way as much as possible.


If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

I have one that I wrote that's 3 pages long. I don't feel like typing it though. lol

[VampiricClown]

Originally posted by The_Return
Yours arent bad VC...however I must say, not my taste.

lol. I like dark ones.

The painted wrists thing..... I picked that style up from one of my Ex's. No, I'm not a cutter......She was though.

[stubbornforgey]

heres a song i wrote

I saw shining star in his eyes
i felt a warming glow in his arms
but when we kissed..
i knew...I'd miss
The freind , I turned to for love..

The words he spoke had me in a trance
his warming touch took me to paradise
when we were through
i knew ..i'd lose..
the freind i turned to for love

I never meant for this to begin
em sorry now i let my heart win
the price i'd pay to turn back a day
and have him as a freind once again

I feel so out of place
out in the cold...
if only he were here for me to hold..
I'd let him know
I need him so ..
take me..how we were before
god .. now hes gone for sure ..
He's my freind...i lost for love ..
lost for loveeeeeeeeeeee ..ohhh no ...
lost for loveeeeee..

'pant pant...bow'

[scaryminda15]

ok this one is for my dear friend panada. nice poems guys. ok here wer go.......

you think life is a real fat stink
but listen to me and ill tell u what our friendship means to me
this is what i think
that u got to see
that i am here for u and many others of course
you can always make me smile when im down
when i need help or comfort your my source
so next time you got a big frown
u better come to me and i will help you
just give me a pm or email
our friendship will always be kept true.
and when you have a tale
ill listen and bring a smile to your face
because you always do it for me
and when your too fast in pace
just calm down and u will see
that i can help you when u hate the universe
which is often that you want the world and people to disappear
so when ur down just come to me and we will have a converse
and for this poem you are
my very best friend
so remember to smile
you my friend to the very end
so ill say smile just for a while.

ok smile for me and when u need me i am here for you.

:)