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Old 11-15-2011, 10:49 PM
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Chronogrl's entry -

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For this challenge, I looked back to horror movies that, to my personal horror history, I consider “classics.” Ultimately, I wanted to think of a movie that scared me when I was younger and revamp it so that the remake would scare me now as an adult.

The movie that I choose to remake is Carnival of Souls (1962). I was in elementary school when I watched this movie with my parents, and it absolutely horrified me. What stands out about this movie and why it scared me was the corporeal nature of the ghouls in the movie – I was so scared that I would turn around and see The Man staring back and reaching out to me… These types of corporeal ghosts are something that I still find creepy in the ghost/supernatural horror that I enjoy watching today. I find corporeal ghost significantly more horrifying than the non-corporeal – There’s more of an immediate threat.

And the masters of the corporeal ghost, in my opinion, are the Japanese.

Takashi Shimizu’s The Grudge and Reincarnation are two of the creepier supernatural movies that I’ve seen in recent years, so I am proposing that I would like to see Takashi Shimizu remake Carnival of Souls. The Grudge legitimately scared me as an adult, just as Carnival of Souls scared me as a child, so I would like to marry Shimizu and my first horror experience to create a genuinely horrifying, atmospheric, supernatural movie.

Another reason why I’d like to go with a more Eastern take on this film is that I find Eastern ghosts more horrifying than their American counterparts. The concept that the monsters of The Grudge will keep killing every single person who enters the house is utterly horrifying and leaves the viewer feeling hopeless. Same with The Ring – Our apparition kills for killing sake… Eastern ghosts have a purpose, and the purpose in Carnival of Souls is to bring Mary to the afterlife.

NOTE: I do realize that there is an existing Carnival of Souls remake, but this movie has very little to do with the original other than the twist ending. My proposed movie will be significantly more faithful to the original.

Key Plot Changes from the Original

For those of you not familiar with the original Carnival of Souls, you can find a detailed plot outline here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnival_of_Souls
  • [1]In the original movie, Mary and her friends go off the bridge because they are drag racing. I’d like to make the remake a bit more modern – Instead of Mary and her friends drag racing, they are travelling over a bridge at night when a Japanese girl (long black hair, naturally), runs in front of their car. They swerve to avoid her, and as a result, careen off the bridge. There are two reasons why I don’t want them drag racing: First, the only people who still drag race in movies are part of The Fast and the Furious. ;) Secondly, (and more importantly), I want to use the girl on the bridge as a way to introduce them to the main antagonist (plus Mary is less implicated in the deaths of her and her friends).

    [2]Instead of being haunted by the omnipresent “Man,” Mary is haunted by Aimi Hayashi, the girl who caused the crash in the opening scene. Aimi is the classic Onryō, thin, long black hair, who serves not only as a nod to Eastern spirits but also a red herring. As Mary is being haunted by Aimi, she researches the girl on the bridge and finds out that the death was a suicide attempt and that Aimi was always viewed by her family and friends as “troubled.” Mary believes, through her research, that Aimi is haunting Mary because she hit her with her car. Of course, the actual reason why Aimi is there is to bring Mary into the afterlife since she did, indeed, die in the car crash. The “twist” isn’t that Mary is being haunted because she killed Aimi; Mary is haunted because she is dead and doesn’t know it.

    Another note about Aimi is that I would like to employ the same type emphasis on haunting foley work that is typical of Shimizu’s work when Aimi is present. Instead of the creepy throaty rattling of The Grudge, the creepy sound effect that will accompany Aimi is the scratching of metal, like a rusted door being pried open (because – REVEAL! – The final scene where the spirits are closing in on Mary, the metal screeching sound almost becomes unbearable as they close in on her, fade to black, and then fade up on the car being fished out of the water and the door being pried open, making the same sound, and revealing Mary within it).

    [3]In the original Carnival of Souls, Mary works at a church playing the organ. In the remake I still want to use music as a vehicle for mood, but I want to get her out of the church and instead working in a private retirement home. She plays the piano at the retirement home. Conveniently, Mary finds out that Aimi’s grandmother is in the home, so Mary can find out about Aimi’s history through speaking with her grandmother. I also think that a retirement home is a good backdrop for a supernatural horror movie since death is always present there – It would provide a good backdrop because at no point is Mary certain whether or not she is in the presence of live inhabitants or ghosts.

    [4]The Original takes place in Utah but I would like to place the remake in Coney Island, making the amusement park the location of the climactic scene at the end.


Plot Outline


The movie opens with Mary and her friends at the Amusement Park Dreamland on Coney Island – It is night and the Carnival lights up the sky with signs, noise, and laughter. They ride the Ferris Wheel, bumper cars, and go through a cheesy Dark Ride/haunted house, complete with fake ghouls popping up at them (there is a nod to the original where one of the fake ghouls looks exactly like The Man, who reaches out toward Mary in the car).

When it’s time to go home, Mary Henry takes the wheel of her car with one of her friends in the front and one in the back. As the pass over a bridge, she sees a girl run out in front of her. She swerves to miss the girl, and accidentally careens off the bridge. The following morning, police spend hours trying to drag the water for the car without success. Then, Mary miraculously comes out of the water. She cannot remember how she survived the crash or where the car is.

Mary goes home to rest. She lives at a private retirement home, where she also works playing the piano and conducting music therapy for the inhabitants. Almost immediately, Mary starts to see Aimi, first in the back of the room where she plays piano for all of the residents. Upon seeing Aimi, Mary almost immediately starts to go into a trance, her music becoming eerie and haunting until Madame Louise, owner of the home, stops her and tells her to leave and get some air.

Mary goes to the bus stop and decides to take the bus to the boardwalk. On the bus, the music is similar to the haunting tune that she was playing in the retirement home. She sways back and forth almost in a trance. Across the seat from her is a human blockhead. He looks at her, smiles, and then drives a nail into his nose with a hammer. Mary looks away in horror, out the window, and she is horrified with Aimi suddenly staring back at her. The music turns into the screeching sound of rusted metal on rusted metal as Aimi opens her mouth. Mary leaves the bus in horror.

After a few more appearances from Aimi, Mary decides to research recent obituaries on Coney Island. She discovers that the day after her crash, Aimi Hayashi was found dead. Interviews with police and family assume that she committed suicide. One of the interviews is with Aimi’s grandmother, Maiko Hayashi and Mary realizes that Maiko is a resident at the retirement home. Mary pays a visit to Maiko and pays her respects and asks about Aimi. Maiko says that Aimi was always a troubled girl who had a tough childhood and then also tells Aimi about the Japanese Onryō, who died violent deaths who haunt the world and she hopes that Aimi found peace in her last hours. Maiko also says that not all Onryos realize that they are dead and that their anger and desperation overshadows this reality.

At this point Mary thinks that Aimi is seeking vengeance on her for killing her when she starts to see other corporeal apparitions. First, she sees her friends who were in the car with her. Then, when an old man dies at the retirement home, she sees him playing the piano one night, the same haunting tune that had entranced her.

Finally, Mary comes into the common room one day and to her horror, she is invisible and inaudible to everyone in the room. She screams and plays the piano but no one reacts to her presence.

(TBC...)
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  #262  
Old 11-15-2011, 10:54 PM
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Quote:

In frustration, Mary takes the bus to Dreamland, but the amusement park is entirely empty. As she walks through the park, she sees that the rides still rotate, but there is no one there. She hears the same haunting tune from the merry-go-round and suddenly she sees Aimi in the distance, coming out of the Dark Ride. Mary runs but at almost every turn she is confronted by an apparition. She sees her friends, she sees the old man who died in the retirement home, and she sees other ghostly figures closing in on her. Mary tries frantically to escape, at one point boarding a bus to leave Dreamland, only to find that all the passengers are ghouls. She sees a pale version of herself as the driver.

Mary runs away toward the beach. She collapses, and they close in, the screeching noise becoming almost unbearable. In the final scene, the car is finally located and pulled from the river, opening the door makes the same screeching sound. Mary's body is in the front seat.


Cast and Director

Director: Takashi Shimizu – Shimizu is an amazing director. I think that he makes incredible ghost stories and I would like to see him take this project on. Also, it’s obvious that he can work with both Japanese and American actors and take on the tough job of the remake (I may be in the minority, but I think that his remake of The Grudge was well-done and I think he took it as an opportunity to edit himself).

Mary Henry: Briana Evigan – When I watch horror movies, I prefer the leads to be little-know actresses else sometimes stardom distracts from the movie. I pick Briana because she’s hot, slightly badass, but can actually act as someone who is being targeted (thinking about her role in Sorority Row).

Madame Louise: Cameo by Jessica Lange

Aimi Hayashi: Megumi Okina because of her work in Ju-on

Maiko Hayashi: The iconic Meiko Kaji, Lady Snowblood

Production Company: Ghost House Pictures, who have Produced The Grudge movies, 30 Days of Night, Drag Me to Hell – With the success of these movies within the genre, I think this will be a perfect fit for my movie.

Judge #1's verdict -

Quote:
I give her an A+.

I want Shimizu to make this movie! I loved everything about it.

Judge #2's verdict -

Quote:
Okay, at first, when you said Carnival of Souls, my reaction was "are you kidding me?" - but then when you said you wanted to combine it with Japanese horror motifs I said to myself "Now, that's VERY interesting and original." I like your plot and your approach. My only question would be- how successful would the melding of the two styles be? Still, it's been done before, as you take pains to mention in your scenario. I would go see this. You finally managed your:

GRADE: A

Judge #3's verdict -

Quote:
B.

Slightly further out of the box then many of your previous entries. The one thing I feel is weak about this and keeps it from getting greater applause than prior entries is that the story is explained too much. There's an imposed narrativity that isn't necessary. A great deal of what goes on in Carnival of Souls is of a poetic nature and putting this into a traditional narrative context where you have an investigation instead of a character existing in a state of mortal terror and confusion, which is much scarier.

Overall Grade - A-.
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Last edited by _____V_____; 11-21-2011 at 11:35 AM. Reason: Added Judge #3's verdict and Overall Grade for Chrono
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  #263  
Old 11-16-2011, 07:24 AM
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Woohoo! Thanks, guys! Spent a lot of time thinking about this and now I want to see it done, too. :D
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  #264  
Old 11-16-2011, 07:26 AM
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Though Judge #3's verdict is still pending but sorry, I just like to share my appreciation on Chrono-Shimizu's Carnival of Souls.

As Judge #2 already mentioned, any true fan of the original naturally wouldn't like to bear the news of a modern remake of COS. But in the vein of a J-horror treatment from Takashi Shimuzi!!...really would be interesting to watch. Fascinating idea, Chrono! and also glad that how beautifully you plotted & developed it in a typical J-horror fashion. Particularly, I like to mention here some nice things of your COS remake treatment:
1) The little tribute or the way you gave nod to the original in the dark ride/haunted house.
2) The screeching of a metal door sound effects.
3) Mary's trance on the bus...specially when a 'man' drives a nail into his nose with a hammer...that's pretty sweet.:D
4) And finally the idea of adding Meiko Kaji in the cast.

Overall, awesome stuff, Chronogrl! Now, that's a champion's entry. :)

..........................................

Anyway, Now...about my Blind Terror remake...(:D)

Oh, I was actually thought this is going to be a disaster but eventually came out with grades better than my expectation. So thanks to the judges for their kind & honest verdicts.

Now like to clear some things that Judge#2 pointed out:

Quote:
The killer smashes the window, and then goes around to smash open the door. Why? Why not just come in through the window?
The thing is I tried to (probably failed to portrayed it properly) make the killer's character so much menacingly unpredictable that the killer aka Arnold Jacob himself isn't sure about what's going to be his next moves regarding to kill somebody or any psychotic/destructive activity. There is no particular choice of weapons for him. He uses whatever he manages to get around anywhere. An unpredictable complete maniac with some flaws who just doesn't think much or plan carefully, otherwise Sarah wouldn't get the chance to run away from the house.

Quote:
In the rape scene you say the killer rips off Sarah's pajamas, and then immediately afterwards you say the bracelet falls in her shirt pocket. Did he rip off her clothes or not?
Oops, sorry! I didn't clarify it properly...he just rips off her pajama pant not the entire clothing.

Quote:
You take pains to mention she knows the layout of the house very well, and then she falls down the basement stairs. This one is not so bad as she could be in a state of panic at that point.
Yup! that's right.

Quote:
The revelation of the killer's backstory is a bit much. I'd like to see some forshadowing here. Perhaps Sarah is haunted by images of the boy that she inadvertantly killed. That way it's not completely out of the blue who the killer is.
I agree, that would be surely better but the thing I forget to add was...Sarah actually forgot or didn't know at first that a kid was died in that accident as the others (doctors & relatives) hide that news to her for the more shock & grief that may caused to her.

Quote:
You do have several terrifying set pieces that would be very effective- the murders, the discovery of the bodies, the shootout at the gas station. The story just needs to be tightened up.
Thank you and I agree on the last note. Actually all or any idea(s) of mine need some or in many cases severe adjustments as I'm actually pretty amateur in story telling or development parts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Judge #1;
I was uncomfortable reading the things being done to Sarah.
Actually, that was the intention from my side & would like to see this sorta reaction coming out from the viewers:D.

Anyway, Thank you, all.:)
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  #265  
Old 11-21-2011, 11:36 AM
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Verdict & Overall Grade for Chronogrl updated.

The next Test will be up within the next 24 hours. Be prepared, all contestants.
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  #266  
Old 11-21-2011, 12:31 PM
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Quote:
B.

Slightly further out of the box then many of your previous entries. The one thing I feel is weak about this and keeps it from getting greater applause than prior entries is that the story is explained too much. There's an imposed narrativity that isn't necessary. A great deal of what goes on in Carnival of Souls is of a poetic nature and putting this into a traditional narrative context where you have an investigation instead of a character existing in a state of mortal terror and confusion, which is much scarier.
:rolleyes:

I get what you're saying and tend to agree with you, but I believe that a strong narrative is popular with American audiences - Think about how successful The Ring remake was. There's nothing wrong with keeping $$$$$ in mind when proposing a script.



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Originally Posted by _____V_____ View Post
Verdict & Overall Grade for Chronogrl updated.

The next Test will be up within the next 24 hours. Be prepared, all contestants.
Fantastic - I don't have time off this week so I'll otherwise be in the office twiddling my thumbs... Should keep me busy (and look like I'm doing something productive to the other poor sods that will be in here with me. ;)).
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  #267  
Old 11-22-2011, 06:29 AM
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THE FIFTH TEST OF HDC IDOL II - ROUND 2


For this task, the common theme I have chosen is - SHORTS.

Here is your task, contestants -

Think of a suitable script/storyline for an effective horror short film of around 30 minutes (maximum). You may adapt a short horror story for your short film provided the length of your short film does not exceed 30 minutes in total.

Contestants - Despare, Roshiq, Zombieness, The Return, The Villain and Chronogrl - better start thinking, because the clock has started ticking. I urge ALL of you to participate, so that we have some increased participation in this round.

You may do any amount of research on your film short's topic, and on similar films. But remember, you cannot just copy an entire script/storyline from an existing horror film/short.

Once you are finished, please PM your entry to me, or send it via email to [email protected]. Do NOT post your entry directly in this thread.

You all have 120 hours at your disposal, starting from NOW! All the best!
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  #268  
Old 11-22-2011, 07:32 AM
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Yeesh. Hopefully my writing anxiety doesn't take over. :o:(

I have an idea that I've been mulling over, but I'm not sure if it would fit better as a short film or a feature one.
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  #269  
Old 11-27-2011, 06:18 AM
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UPDATE AND AN ANNOUNCEMENT


The 120 hours given till the deadline will be up in the next 12 minutes, and I have received NO entries so far.

Taking the fact into account that it was Thanksgiving weekend, the deadline stands extended by 48 hours.

If I receive no entries within the extended deadline, HDC Idol II will be immediately closed citing reason as Lack Of Participation.

Also, if I receive entries from ONLY either Chronogrl and/or Roshiq (yet again), HDC Idol II will be closed after the verdicts of the Judges are given, and crowning one/both of them as the Winner and/or First Runner-Up.

Sorry, but I have no alternative left.
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  #270  
Old 11-27-2011, 06:22 AM
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Sorry V. I really wanted to do this and was excited about it but i have such writer's block i can't even work on my novel anymore. Its actually been really depressing me.
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