ZOMBIES! Everyone has an opinion.

[Vodstok]

Back in 2010, I wrote this. Full disclosure, at the time I had not read any Max Brooks, I still didn;t consider the Infected from 28 Days/Weeks Later zombies, and considered (as I still do) Romero's '78 Dawn Of The Dead original the quintessential zombie movie. With that in mind, I wrote that article when someone else pitched the idea, Cracked was all set to pay the guy to write it, then he disappeared. The article idea became up for grabs after a few weeks, and I threw my hat in with about 10 other people competing for the chance to write it.

The editors liked mine best (and it didn't hurt that I was one of their more prolific freelancers at the time) so I got to write it. It's been read over 19 million times and to this day, people are leaving 1000+ word counter-points in the comments because my article shit all over their end of the world fantasy (including the dude who runs the Zombie Research Society, the same guy who shows up on the Talking Dead giving survival tips).

Now, keep in mind, I based my idea of a zombie on the walking corpse presented in Romero's movies, which don't touch most of the points I make in it. I didn't know at the time that Max Brooks had basically Deus Ex Machinaed most of them already, and while I love his books, my science is better. SO, I wanted to open the floor for discussion because I figure here I can get some good natured, intelligent back and forth not the angry foaming rants of mouth breathing internet commentors.

[ChronoGrl]

I've thought about the fact that they couldn't handle the cold (in fact, my zombie plan always involved moving Up North) but the Heat and Natural Predators never really occurred to me. Good points on those.

The biting point is interesting which is why I think I found the movie Contagion and The Bay to be horrifying - There are so many other ways that we can catch diseases and die. Boyle touched a bit on that in 28 Days Later but one could argue that that movie, along with Contagion and The Bay, is an infection movie but not a zombie movie per se.

My biggest place where I need to suspend disbelief is with your #1 - I feel as though with all of our weapons and whatnot there is no way that zombies could truly take us over. It would be interesting if it was revealed in The Walking Dead that the government just let the plague happen to de-populate the United States - That's more believable than a true decimating outbreak.

[Vodstok]

I posted this here to get lucid, non-mouthbreathing responses and now that I got one I find I have no idea how to respond :)

I'm glad you agree. I read the Zombie Survival Guide after this ran and I loved it, but I thought Max Brooks' explanations for things were just cop-outs. Entertaining and part of his world he created, but just pure deus ex machina.

The 2 biggest retorts I got were "Biting is terrible for spreading disease? What about fleas and mosquitoes?!" Obviously written by someone who didn't read the actual entry. The other one that killed me was the "carnivores don't eat dead meat." Huh? Ignoring the obvious it HAS to be dead to not run away, pretty much every apex predator is more than happy to chew on a corpse that's been laying around because food is food and wild animals give less than a fuck about Michelin ratings.

It kills me that people have reacted like I was purposely trying to ruin the genre for them, when in most cases I am willing to bet they weren't even born yet when I started watching zombie movies ('94. Shit, I'm old.....)

[newb]

Originally Posted by Vodstok

I posted this here to get lucid, non-mouthbreathing responses and now that I got one I find I have no idea how to respond :)

Chrono is one of our best "lucid, non-mouthbreathing responders"

[The Bloofer Lady]

Read it and started thinking "Yeah, no need to take those archery lessons", "Well that's certainly true!" and "What IS all the fuss about?"...and then (I tried, I really did) I watched DAWN OF THE DEAD 2004 and I'M A'SCARED AGAIN!!

[The Bloofer Lady]

Originally Posted by The Bloofer Lady

Read it and started thinking "Yeah, no need to take those archery lessons", "Well that's certainly true!" and "What IS all the fuss about?"...and then (I tried, I really did) I watched DAWN OF THE DEAD 2004 and I'M A'SCARED AGAIN!!

PS: Well done!