|
|
||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||||
|
#1
11-02-2005, 12:03 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Script for opening scene in horror movie.
Hi I'm a kid who's loved horror movies since I saw the Shining when I was 6, and I'm working on a script for a movie which I will be showing to my friends. The movie itself is called Blood On The Ceiling, and what it's inspired by is all the great phsycological horror films such as The Shining, Don't Look Now, and some more recent movies like Ringu and 28 Days Later.
Opening Scene: (Shot of a door. Throughout the scene, the camera is zooming out, and the music is getting gradually more and more violent. The muffled voices of an arguing couple can be heard.) Man- "You're not leaving this fucking house Maxine! I want the truth!" Maxine- "Will you just fuck off? I'm not telling you shit!" Man- "Oh yeah? Well I have six people who all say they saw you kissing him." Maxine- "I fucked him." Man- "What!" Maxine- "You heard me. I fucked him." Man- "You little whore!!!" Maxine- "Oh christ..... NO!!!!" (Blood leaks through the crack in the door. A faint screaming can be heard. Screaming stops. Screen fades to black. Blood On The Ceiling appears on the screen.) Please tell me what you think of this. Reply to this post. 
|
|
#2
11-02-2005, 01:48 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Not all that understandable, And i think you should be able to see the characters, not just a door. Second of all, seeing that opening scene tells you absolutly anything about the movie. And when you hear the man kill his wife, and the scene goes to black and it says "blood on the ceiling". Is this movie about a haunted house or a man that kills his slut gf? Other than that, welcome to horror.com
__________________
Hang the body in the shed Using meat-hooks through the legs Catch the blood as it drips from the stump Like the others from the past The naked belly, full of cysts Smells so good, I cant resist I know inside this ones the best As I eat the rotting chest
|
|
#4
11-02-2005, 04:44 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Is this an upstairs room? You could do it like this:
Instead of zooming out "track out". Actually move the camera. Steadicam, skateboard dolly, sandbag on an actual skateboard if your floors are smooth and the camera is small enough...you get the idea. Anyway, have the door open so you can see them arguing at the beginning, slowly track out. At the lines: "I fucked him!" "What?" Have the man walk past the door and slam it shut as he rounds the bed toward Maxine. Continue to track away from the room, hearing muffled shouting now. Bring the shot down the stairs. "Oh Christ...NO!" >INsert violent sound here: Skull crack maybe< Tilt the camera up toward the ceiling, and floor above the room. Screaming and attack noises stop. Blood drips through to the ceiling below, bring up title, BLOOD ON THE CIELING. Just my take on it.
__________________
The graveyard is filling up at: www.hocfocprod.com/deathplots
|
|
#5
11-02-2005, 05:57 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Script for opening scene in horror movie.
Quote:
__________________
The gorier, the better. ;)
|
|
#6
11-03-2005, 03:19 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
This isn't even a scene, much less a script. Reading it is like uickly changing channels on tv: no beginning or end to what I just read. Write a full story out first then go into a script outline from that.
CK
|
|
#7
11-14-2005, 03:37 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Try to add some suspense. Maybe don't make this the opening scene, write between ten and thirty minutes of introduction to the characters, maybe give both of them a lot of humanity, then, when the death comes, BAM! It hits the audience, who are all like WTF?! This could all be done with thirty minutes at most, leaving plenty of time add an assload of story. Also, try to make the beginning--even the credits--as nice and family-value-filled as possible, then start adding a tad bit of darkness to the story as the cheating comes into play, then make the death scene as inhumanly violent as posible without actualy showing much other then, of course, the blood in the ceiling. Another idea, don't give it any main titles.
|
|
#8
04-14-2009, 03:20 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Idea
Hey i got an idea for a movie called Slammed (any other suggestions)
Opening Scene: Camera focused on lights on roof flickering. There is screaming in the distant. Camera slowly moves off roof to show a long hallway. You here water dripping somewhere. Next Scene: Man in a room tied down on floor. Man being tortured: Arghhh! Man keeps screaming in pain. After about 10 secs a door opens Man being tortured stops screaming. Camera shows mans feet walking slowly towards him. Torturer 1: I thought I told you to be quiet (Very serious voice). Man being tortured: Please. (sobbing) Please just let me go. Torturer keeps walking towards him. Man being tortured: (Yells) What do you want from me! Now another door opens (Man jumps) and another man walks in. Camera on his feet. Man being tortured: (yelling) NO! NO! NO! Both torturers getting close. Man continues to yell. Both men get to him. Torturer 2: (waves) Bye Bye Torturer 2 has a rake and he rests the spikes of the rake on his face. Man being tortured: continues sobbing and screaming NOOOOO! Torturer 1 stamps on rake. Rake goes graphically in his face and blood sprays on the wall to spell Slammed. (Very tense and loud jumpy music).
|
|
#9
04-14-2009, 07:20 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Nothing special is happening here. Learn the format, listen to people talk and try to say something different. There are one hundred of these movies written every time somebody blinks. Read better books and watch better movies.
__________________
Horror and Bizarro novelist and editor
|
|
#10
04-14-2009, 02:51 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Both of the scenes in this thread need some polishing.
The first isn't interesting at all. Who wants to stare at a door while all the interesting stuff is going on behind it? The second just seems like a Hostel ripoff that can't afford cool weaponry so they went with a rake. No offense to either intended. I just think they both suffer from some simlar problems... The scenes are incredibly short, less than a minute each. The dialogue is wooden and doesn't sound very natural. Neither is all that original in concept. Also, avoid camera direction in spec scripts unless you will be directing the film since camera shots are typically up to the director's discretion. I'd echo a lot of the advice given here in this thread. Read lots of scripts, learn formatting and storytelling techniques, definitely work on the dialogue. That's my feedback, take it or leave it. I'm not a professional, but I have written nearly 2 dozen schort scripts in the past couple years that have been pretty well received. The first step in improving your craft is learning it.
__________________
Click for bwind22's 1 Minute Movie Reviews!
|
 |
|
|
