Frivolous 911 Calls...Irritating, But Funny

[bloodrayne]

911 Dispatchers Handle It All

Many are frightened and confused, injured and in pain. Some are angry. Some just want to talk. And some are just plain unbelievable.

With as many as 700 people calling for help in a single day, dispatchers have to be prepared for anything in the Longview Police Department's Telecommunications Center.

Amateur dispatchers quickly become professional multi-taskers, comforting the callers and providing life-saving advice as they simultaneously send rescue personnel to wrecks, fires, crimes and other emergencies.

9-1-1 Specialist Beth English has fielded thousands of callers during her 13 years as a dispatcher with the department.

But some things still surprise her.

"I can now do CPR on an adult basset hound should I need to" after enlisting a veterinarian's help to save a caller's dog when the animal fell in the pool, English said, laughing.

About 5 percent of calls are in the range of outlandish and absurd, Rees said, nothing that should require the aid of police, fire or EMS personnel.

"What we consider an emergency is something in progress or that has just occurred or something that is threatening imminent bodily injury to someone," she said.

But a caller's definition of an emergency may be totally different.

Take, for example, the man who called because he went to a 24-hour restaurant for an "all-you-can-eat" breakfast, and the employees refused to let him eat eight eggs. The man called the restaurant chain's headquarters and was told to file a complaint with the police, so he dialed the emergency line.

In another instance, a woman called to report a spider on her bed. She wanted the police to kill the spider and refused to go into her room until an officer arrived.

"They're only calling 911 because they're impatient, or they think their situation is an emergency," Rees said. "That person is tying up an emergency line for someone else who has an emergency."

Dispatchers are often inundated with calls during power outages, Rees said, with callers asking not just for updates on the power, but for the time and date as well. What they don't realize is that there are true emergencies in power outages, like patients on life support.

Other callers mistakenly believe that repeatedly calling 911 will help them solve a problem faster.

"The officers are still going to get there at the same speed," Rees said.

According to English, some people don't know how to use phone books and tie up emergency lines as they search for a number. Many other callers are just lonely or confused, she said.

The "chronic callers" are often elderly recluses or patients who have neglected their medication; One pleaded with officers to get invisible monkeys off her roof while another asked for a ride to the supermarket.

"When it's a full moon, I tell you, it's busy in here," English said. Sometimes, "phones are ringing off the wall."

Emergency Menopause...

Level 2 Telecommunications Officer Ouida McDaniel has been with the Longview Police Department about five years. She recalls one early-morning shift when she received a call about 2:30 a.m. ...

"What is your emergency?" I asked as I logged the man's address and other information from my screen. A weary-sounding elderly man asked if I could please send him some help.

After verifying the address, I asked him what his problem was.

He stated that it was his wife — he did not know if she was losing her mind or what, but she had been acting very strangely the past few months, and he could not take it anymore.

He further explained that she would fall asleep, wake up sweaty sometimes, chilled others, but would yell at him, plead for help then run him off.

The other telephone receiver in the house was picked up, and a woman asked me if I knew what the "change of life" was. I replied that I did, and that doctors could sometimes help with those problems.

She adamantly stated, "I don't need no doctors. Jesus and YOU (meaning her husband) are going to get me through this!"

Her husband wearily asked, "Please, lady, send me some help."

The officer dispatched to the residence was given the same information by the woman, to which he replied, "Lady, your husband is not going to live long enough for Jesus to get you through this."

She promised to go to the doctor.


A Few More 'Gems':

9-1-1, what's your emergency?...

During a major pile-up on Interstate 20, a woman who had been stuck in the traffic jam for 45 minutes called 9-1-1 and asked for a motorcycle officer to come pick her up at the car, take her to the bathroom and return her to the car. The sheriff's office transferred a "medical emergency" to the 9-1-1 dispatch.

One caller's dog had fallen in the pool, and the owner needed instructions on how to perform CPR on an adult basset hound. After contacting a veterinarian, the dispatcher relayed the instructions — the dog lived.

A woman called and asked the dispatcher to alert all police agencies between Longview and Ben Wheeler to be on the lookout for a male Akita who was following a female dog in heat, possibly down Interstate 20.

A man called and said he had read an article in the newspaper about a house that had been burglarized in Longview, and he wanted the exact address of the house. According to the man, he had read that the family's vacuum cleaner had been stolen, and he wanted to sell them another one.

A woman called and asked the dispatcher to call her doctor's office and cancel her doctor's appointment. When asked why she didn't call herself, the woman said it was because her phone wouldn't dial out.

A man called wanting the police to fix his cable TV. He said he had called the cable company and couldn't get them to call back, and it was the police's job to fix the cable.

A woman called because she hadn't received her paper and couldn't get the operator to answer at information. When she was told to call the newspaper office, she said she couldn't find the number and needed the dispatcher to tell her what to do to get the paper.

A man called 9-1-1 to find out what the country code is for Switzerland.

A woman called and asked for an officer to check on the neighbor's dog that was having to drink muddy water every day, and she was tired of going over and giving him fresh water.

[horror_master]

I bet there are even barrizer calls for them.