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#1
03-01-2004, 03:26 AM
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Eaten By Unusual Pets
Pet spider kills its owner
BERLIN Killer ... a poisonous Black Widow spider A MAN who lived in his own “zoo” of lizards and insects was fatally bitten by a pet black widow spider — then eaten by the other creepy-crawlies. Police broke in to Mark Voegel’s apartment to find spider Bettina along with 200 others, several snakes, a gecko lizard called Helmut and several thousand termites had gorged on his body. Neighbours alerted police after becoming alarmed by the stink. And horrified officers were met by a nightmare scene. A police spokesman said: “It was like a horror movie. His corpse was over the sofa. “Giant webs draped him, spiders were all over him. They were coming out of his nose and his mouth. “There was everything there one could imagine in the world of reptiles. “Larger pieces of flesh torn off by the lizards were scooped up and taken back to the webs of tarantulas and other bird-eating spiders.” Loner Voegel, 30, never invited people back to his “jungle” home, a small apartment in the German city of Dortmund. Police described it as a cross between a botanical garden and the butterfly breeding ground in the serial killer movie The Silence Of The Lambs. One tarantula had built a nest the size of a swallow’s in a corner of the ceiling. Voegel also had a boa constrictor and several poisonous frogs from South America. Spider expert and animal cruelty officer Gabi Bayer said he kept creatures “that should never be allowed in a private home”. She said: “He had spiders so aggressive they are the equivalent of a pit-bull in the animal world.” The reptiles were allowed to roam free in the flat. The heating elements on two tanks containing spiders and their termite snacks had exploded and dislodged the metal tops allowing them to escape. Voegel is thought to have been dead for between seven and 14 days. A post-mortem will be carried out in the next few days. But authorities believe Bettina alone was responsible for Voegel’s death.
__________________
...  If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance...Baffle 'em with bullshit My Karma ran over my Dogma God WAS my co-pilot...But, we crashed in the mountains and...I had to eat him I'm suffocating in what's become of me... The rancid remains of what I used to be 
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#2
03-01-2004, 05:42 PM
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Holy shit!!!!!!!!!!! :eek:
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#3
03-01-2004, 06:20 PM
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holy fucking shit thats creepy *cringes*
__________________
FRIDAYTHE13THFANS HOMETOWN BUDDY WICKED LADYS BUDDY Human passions have mysterious ways, in children as well as grown-ups. Those affected by them can't explain them, and those who haven't known them have no understanding of them at all. -neverending story (the book)
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#4
03-02-2004, 11:28 AM
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It's all because of those DAMN Ace Ventura movies!
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#6
03-03-2004, 11:24 PM
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This is the best part, "She said: “He had spiders so aggressive they are the equivalent of a pit-bull in the animal world.”"
Now THAT is some fucked up shit!!! A spider as aggressive as a pit-bull? MY GOD!!!
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#7
03-04-2004, 04:31 AM
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Jesus, that sounds like a sydney funnelweb. Mean, pissy, they attack at the drop of a hat, have some of the strongest poison of any spider, and can bite through a leather boot.
And they are almost as big as a tarantula. Keep in mind that they are SYDNEY funnel webs, as in biggest city in australia. Cheeba is braver than we thought.
__________________
Some misguided people decided I was funny enough to pay. See if they're right: http://www.cracked.com/members/Vodstok/ (I tweet pretty hardcore, too)
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#8
03-04-2004, 04:54 PM
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I gaged when I read about the spiders crawling out of his nose and mouth. I would hate to be the police man that discovered this.
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#9
03-04-2004, 06:18 PM
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Quote:
__________________
FRIDAYTHE13THFANS HOMETOWN BUDDY WICKED LADYS BUDDY Human passions have mysterious ways, in children as well as grown-ups. Those affected by them can't explain them, and those who haven't known them have no understanding of them at all. -neverending story (the book)
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#10
03-04-2004, 07:52 PM
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The part that got me was the 'of the animal world' part. That's like saying "T-Bones are the Filet Mignon of the steak world".
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