Go Back   Horror.com Forums - Talk about horror. > Horror, But Not Movies > Books & Fiction Writing
Register FAQ Community Calendar

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 11-29-2006, 03:21 PM
RonPrice's Avatar
RonPrice RonPrice is offline
Mr RonPrice
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: George Town Tasmania
Posts: 16
Send a message via Yahoo to RonPrice
Literature's Most Terrifying Poem

DARK NIGHTS

Joyce Carol Oates says that Emily Dickinson's poem Number 410 is the most terrifying poem in the English language on the subject of a person's breakdown, their disintegration, the collapse of their sense of self. I have taken this same poem and altered it to reflect my own experience of varying degrees of inner terror off-and-on in the years from 1963 to 1980. This poem also sees my use of the word 'shit,' a rare instance in my poetry of slipping into the lower reaches of the vernacular, as part of a commonly used colloquialism here in Australia. It is a colloquialism I have come to take a particular liking for in my personal life. Although I don't often use this expression, it is such an apt one that it pleases my sensibility.-Ron Price, Pioneering Over Four Epochs, 23 March 2001.

The first dark night came long ago,
so terrible it was, but endured
and slowly, slowly, I did sing
when down the road I was fully cured.

My strings back then had snapped
beyond any daily use,
or to put it another way,
my bow it broke to atoms,
quite destroyed they were,
but endured again,
outlasted woe
and I saw a new, fresh morn.

The horror came again, again
and slapped me in the face.
My eyes were blackened both
and, then, the brain gave ease.

That ease came slowly,
nearly twenty years,
now I am another man.
Sometimes I break,
but never atoms
when the shit hits
that proverbial fan.

Of course, there's years,
could last quite long
and black could fill the eye.
Who knows what will
come down the tube
before I lie down and die.

Ron Price
23 March 2001
__________________
married for 48 years, a teacher for 32, a student for 18, a writer & editor for 16, and a Baha'i for 56(in 2015)

Last edited by RonPrice; 03-12-2015 at 12:42 AM. Reason: To update the wording
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 11-29-2006, 04:02 PM
Zero's Avatar
Zero Zero is offline
whatever gets you through
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In a big tree
Posts: 7,871
__________________
Winner HDC Battle Royale I & HDC Battle Royale IV
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 11-29-2006, 04:34 PM
Roderick Usher's Avatar
Roderick Usher Roderick Usher is offline
HDC Sole Survivor!!

 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Underneath the Bed
Posts: 7,012
I am going to try to do this as nicely as possible.

Why?

It is the way in which Ms. Dickinson seems to joyously embrace her madness that makes the poem hauntingly beautiful. Did you think you could add to her greatness? The poem was missing that little touch that only you could provide?

Your over-written excuse for saying "shit" in no way excuses using the trite phrase "shit hits the fan" or even worse, the use of a word so obvious and indicating "proverbial" in a poem.

Thanks for sharing. I'll gladly read more of your poems, but leave the "reworking" alone...please?
__________________
"Little, vicious minds abound with anger and revenge, and are incapable of feeling the pleasure of forgiving their enemies."
Earl of Chesterfield

"A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well."
Francis Bacon
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-01-2006, 05:19 PM
noctuary's Avatar
noctuary noctuary is offline
Your funeral... my trial
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: the red tower
Posts: 1,785
At least he didn't claim to have improved on it.
__________________
And no matter what I say I cannot resist or betray it. No one could do so because there is no one here. There is only this body, this shadow, this darkness.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-01-2006, 06:49 PM
Nocturnal's Avatar
Nocturnal Nocturnal is offline
Gloriana
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 50
Send a message via Yahoo to Nocturnal
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roderick Usher View Post
I am going to try to do this as nicely as possible.

Why?

It is the way in which Ms. Dickinson seems to joyously embrace her madness that makes the poem hauntingly beautiful. Did you think you could add to her greatness? The poem was missing that little touch that only you could provide?

Your over-written excuse for saying "shit" in no way excuses using the trite phrase "shit hits the fan" or even worse, the use of a word so obvious and indicating "proverbial" in a poem.

Thanks for sharing. I'll gladly read more of your poems, but leave the "reworking" alone...please?

As stated above.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 08-21-2009, 04:05 AM
RonPrice's Avatar
RonPrice RonPrice is offline
Mr RonPrice
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: George Town Tasmania
Posts: 16
Send a message via Yahoo to RonPrice
Belated Thanks...After Nearly 3 Years!

Belated Thanks...After Nearly 3 Years! Life is busy even in retirement, in these middle years (65-75) of late adulthood(60-80) and old age(80++), if I last that long.-Ron
__________________
married for 48 years, a teacher for 32, a student for 18, a writer & editor for 16, and a Baha'i for 56(in 2015)
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-25-2014, 04:50 PM
RonPrice's Avatar
RonPrice RonPrice is offline
Mr RonPrice
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: George Town Tasmania
Posts: 16
Send a message via Yahoo to RonPrice
Goodness me! It's been 5 years....

Goodness me! It's been 5 years and I'm now in my 70s.-Ron Price
__________________
married for 48 years, a teacher for 32, a student for 18, a writer & editor for 16, and a Baha'i for 56(in 2015)
Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 02:06 PM.