#11
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I am so not sober!! the above posted by Newb was so funny to me.
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Life may be hard and you may get scared, But, that is how it is so, be prepared. I want you to know that the world is mean, On the other side of the fence, grass isn't always green. Look to a friend or someone you trust, Holding them close is kind of a must. You'll need to be strong and not too proud, If you are afraid, just get loud. Stand up for what it is you believe, If you fail, dont give up and leave. Be yourself and don't let anyone change you, To yourself always, and I mean always, stay true. Follow your heart where ever it leads, But, remember life goes on when it bleeds. No matter what happens I will always care, Give up on you is something I wouldn't dare. "Everybody needs a little wood" peace and out... ~The Wood |
#12
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On a tour of Alaska, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the
mountains for some sight seeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Popemobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" T-shirt and a Tree Hugger Hat, was struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10 foot grizzly. As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a 338 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear. Then using long clubs, the three loggers beat the bear to death and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat. As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between loggers and environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that that is not true." As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy ?" "It was the Pope," another replied, "he's in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom" "Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom, but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting..............is the bait holding up okay or do we need to go back into town and grab another one?" |
#13
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This is how the tyrannosaurus scene in King Kong originally played out before they changed it:
******************************** TREX: I'm sorry but you look just like a little olive to me. ANN: Noooooooo! Noooooooooo!!!! TREX (bending down to grab her): Oh this is gonna be good. Oh yeah! ANN: Oh my God, oh my God!! KONG: Hey! What are you doing?? GIMME that! (KONG GRABS ANN AND EATS HER REALLY QUICK.) KONG: Womp! Mmmmph, mmmph, glgmmmmph, munch munch. Mmmm, hey that was good. TREX: You ruined my day. You suck. KONG: Ahhhh, shaddup. TREX: Oh all right. |
#14
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#15
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Ahem...
There once was a man from Nantucket whose penis was shaped like a bucket His gal liked his dick but they broke up real quick cuz she tried but she just couldn't suck it
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MISINTUPITATED- The act of removing the spine by use of fire. DEVESTED- The removal of one's vest. SCTUPP- To deficate on a woman after nonconsensual sex. |
#16
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#17
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MISINTUPITATED- The act of removing the spine by use of fire. DEVESTED- The removal of one's vest. SCTUPP- To deficate on a woman after nonconsensual sex. |
#18
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Real or Fake
This is a boob test....the link WILL show you boobies....if you are too sensitive to see a womans breast.....don't click. Its also a pretty easy test....i scored 19 out of 20. http://transload.net/~zaphod/text/silicon.html |
#19
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yes this is an actual phone conversation...the customer services person got the sack for it. This happened about 7 years ago .. GO THE AUSSIES !!!! fucking funny . Theres another one ..customer service Rheem hot water cylinders. track that down...thats fucking hilarious too.
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my opinion counts dammit so says my Lord :D |
#20
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