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Old 05-19-2010, 07:27 PM
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milktoaste milktoaste is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Beertown USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Faustus View Post
The third line could benefit from being shorter
"the crisp sound of something when there is nothing there" and "that sound is truly terrifying" could be something more specific" but otherwise, that's excellent. Nice job.
You know it's funny, I've wasted weeks trying to force a story that just wasn't working, and then along comes this little gem when I'm scared shitless of a random strange noise. I'm really glad you liked it.
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"The physical body is acknowledged as dust, the personal drama as delusion. It is as if the world we perceive through our senses, that whole gorgeous and terrible pageant, were the breath-thin surface of a bubble, and everything else, inside and outside, is pure radiance. Both suffering and joy come then like a brief reflection, and death like a pin" Stephen Mitchell
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