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Old 04-10-2015, 04:59 AM
Jake.Ashworth's Avatar
Jake.Ashworth Jake.Ashworth is offline
No Tears Please...
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Wentzville, MO
Posts: 1,103
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmylinds View Post
Other than a few incomplete thoughts(i.e. <<The figure came back at complete random, he never knew what day or time it would happen,>> Complete random....what?)I thought it was a good suspense/horror story. The only question I have is was the female entity supposed to be a succubus??? Honestly, I really thought that's where you were going with that. If you wanted to spice the story up a bit, you can make her a all out succubus. Keep up the good work! I hope you read my book when it gets published to Kindle.
Thanks for the pointers, sometimes it take a second set of eyes. Welcome to the forum by the way. She isn't a succubus, shadow people are a real thing, I know how superstitious that sounds. I literally lived this for four or five years when I was a child. If you google it you can get some more info. As for the ending, in my life it just ended when I met my wife and we began sleeping in the same bed. but that wouldn't have been much of an ending to a story, lol. My book through Kindle is in my signature. Its a buck if you want to check it out. Its my first attempt so I don't really even know if its worth a damn.
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Becoming a Killer (novel) ---- http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Kille...oming+a+killer

The People (short story) ---- http://www.inkitt.com/stories/10686

Trapped (Short Story) ---- https://www.inkitt.com/stories/horror/624905

The End : A Short Glimpse (Flash Fiction) --- https://www.inkitt.com/stories/horror/624912

Fear Awakens (novel) ----- Recently Restarted
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