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I guess it's unfair to slowly place the blame on her. I mean yeah I didn't know the whole story and I freaked out and probably scared her away. I do wish she would have told me what was going on although I do realize it wasn't her place to do that because technically it was none of my since she wasn't my girlfriend. I mean in all honesty who knows if she was being genuine or playing me all along. My gut instinct tells me she was playing me and rather than trusting my instincts I ignored them which often gets me in trouble. And yeah I am trying too hard, I know that. Going out places I'm not going to just suddenly get a girlfriend, I know Real Love Takes real time and as I also said before, women my age online usually have nothing better to do than fuck with people and when you are only messaging each other it's really hard to read into what the other person actually means since you have no way of physically communicating with them and that's what makes it emotionally dangerous. I set myself up for all of this. I mean my ex-girlfriend I was with for 11 years and I met online and a lot of you know how that ended. I think once I start back to school next year I will open myself up to so many new experiences and find that there is more to this place than I have discovered yet. To be fair though I have only been here 7 months so there is still so much in this city and outside of it that I have yet to explore.
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