A few tips I'll write out for you (I'm no master or anything, so judge and apply for yourself):
Tip: Use vivid details when describing important objects/places in your story. (Setting, time, atmosphere, and tone all play incredibly important roles in any work... Try giving some macabre history behind a church or town square, as told by one of the people that the character meets [for example: hangings were performed there, a bloody feud erupted there, etc.] This will help give a better atmosphere... The more the reader can taste the fog in the air, the more they will enjoy your piece.
Tip: The senses play an important role. If you can get your reader to see the light that glides through the window, smell the rich smoke, taste the rotting dog-flesh, hear the scratching of claws, and feel the rough texture of the monsters skin, your story is sold. Don't use every sense when describing something, it will get cluttered and bothersome.
Tip: Use lots of details when describing creatures (control your descriptions, try not to give too many... Hefty descriptions that take up a full page before the monster/creature does anything tend to boths low down the flow and hinder the readers creativity and imagination... The reader doens't need/want to have your exact image... They want to create their own monster in their mind... The descriptions are to be vital and important to how the monster acts and what it can do... If the creature is to be a fast runner, try simply stating that it has hind legs like a dog [the form of the dog follows it's function: it needs to run fast at times, so it needs legs that can]... A background in basic biology can help you with that.) Just remember: form follows function in most cases. If it didn't, the creature probably wouldn't last long enough to do anything major to the character.
Tip: If you keep beating on your character, you'll go blind. Don't let your character lose gallons of blood or break too many bony early on, because, should he continue, it would seem outlandish that he does.
Tip: Symbolism tells us more than what is obvious in the piece. It tells all sorts of facets about your work that no one else might see upon first glance. Here's an article I found early last year on it:
"Plumbing For Symbolism" By Jessica Davidson
Tip: (Something I learned today about drama: ) The more questions asked towards the beginning of the novel, the more there have to be answered by the climax. Don't give yourself a challenge that you can't handle on your first go. be sure to answer every answer sufficiently so that if a person were to read about just the questions and the answers themselves, and nothing else in the piece, they would be able to "get it."
Tip: Build up plot twists and turns from the beginning of the story. This is known as "Ressurecting Elements." Say he comes across a newspaper lying in a gutter on a street, with an eerie headline which contains some information that the character will only acknowledge when it's too late or just right.
Finally, and most importantly:
Tip: Remember that there is no perfect novel, and that you cannot please everyone everywhere all the time and in everyway. If you strive to make the perfect novel, it will come out all wrong. When you work too long on a novel to make it better, you become absorbed in a world of that novel so much so that you assume tha the reader will get everything based on this "higher knowledge" you might have about your own work that the reader has no previous knowledge of in the first place. Sometimes, you just gotta let go. It /is/ preferable that the reader either loves or hates your piece as opposed to being simply indifferent
It would help if I knew more about the story, and what you plan for the characters to do, so I can act like an editor, but otherwise, I can only give you little tips. But, since you seem fearful that someone here might steal your story, best leave it to yourself.
:D Good Luck (to you and all aspiring writers):D
*FADE OUT*