[massacre man]

*The room is entirely dark, the dim light turns on as Newb enters the room holding a blender, Massacre Man's left eye is missing and he has a pair of scissors stuck to a piece of skin dangling from his head, he is barely conscious, Newb kneels down and plugs in the blender, holds his chicken salad sandwich in his mouth and pushes all of the buttons to be sure the blended is working right, Massacre Man watches as Newb then approaches him with the blender and shoves his foot in it*

Massacre Man: No, wait, come on, how the fuck is that an experiment?

*Newb gives Massacre Man a grin and turns the blender on low, every few seconds turning the setting up*

Massacre Man: Fuck! Stop it!

*After Massacre Man's right foot is taken off, Newb switches to his left*

Massacre Man: I would kick your ass if I had feet...

*Newb turns the blender on, after he's finished, Newb stands and pours the ground up feet into a cup and uses it to wash down his sandwich*

Massacre Man: I hope I have AIDS and you just got that shit too you fucking asshole.

*Newb turns and leaves the room without having said a word, Massacre Man looks at Kemal*

Massacre Man: Why are you just standing there! He cut my feet off and you just watched!

Kemal: ...

Massacre Man: Why aren't you talking?!

Kemal: ...

*Massacre Man stops and listens, he clearly hears the Tales From The Crypt theme in the next room over*

Massacre Man: Can you pull me off of here so I can watch the TV?

Kemal: ...

Massacre Man: Fuck you too, asshole.

*Massacre Man starts to pull his arms forward to slip off of the nails, he yells in pain*

Kemal: SHIT!

Massacre Man: That's fucking great! Now you say something!

*Massacre Man slips his legs off of the nails and lands on the nubs where his feet once were, he again yells in pain*

Kemal: DAMN!

Massacre Man: Why didn't you help me?

Kemal: ...

*Massacre Man crawls to Kemal and pulls the scissors from his head, he jams them into Kemal's foot*

Kemal: THAT'S WHACK!

Massacre Man: I'll show you whack.

*Massacre Man reaches back and grabs the cord of the blender, he swings it around and slaps Kemal across the face with it, he hits the ground and Massacre Man swings the blender at him repeatedly, smashing his brains in*

Massacre Man: Now, the Crypt Keeper.

*Massacre Man crawls to the TV room in time to catch the middle of the Crypt Keeper's introduction, he smiles*

Massacre Man: I didn't miss it.

*Just then Newb grabs Massacre Man by the legs and drags him out of the room*

Massacre Man: At least wait for the Crypt Keeper's part to finish!

*Just as Massacre Man and Newb are out of view The Crypt Keeper's laugh is heard, Newb takes Massacre Man to a door that he kicks open leading to a dark basement, he tosses Massacre Man down the stairs and closes the door*

Massacre Man: I think my arm's broken.

*A vicious growl is heard from the other side of the basement*

Massacre Man: Fuck...