[massacre man]

*Returning to Massacre Man at the bottom of the dark basement with only the sound of Dante's growl-like moans*

Massacre Man: What the fuck are you!?

*Massacre Man feels around the ground, he finds a small hatchet on top of the workbench next to him, he uses his somewhat-good arm to throw the hatchet at Dante, the only sound is the hatchet entering Dante's back*

Dante: What was that!?

Massacre Man: You're a person?

Dante: What was that!?

Massacre Man: I don't know I think I hear bats, you must have been bitten.

Dante: I can't feel anything!

Massacre Man; Maybe it was a big fuckin' bat.

Dante: You threw something at me!

Massacre Man: No, I didn't.

Dante: Yes you did!

Massacre Man: Well I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you're in a basement growling. After I had my fucking feet cut off and my fucking arm broken. I must have been fucking stoned, I mean who in their right mind would be scared of GROWLING IN A DARK FUCKING BASEMENT!

Dante: Why is everybody messing with me today?

Massacre Man: Did you just fucking listen? I was nailed to a wall by my fucking knees and elbows and I watched one of my friend's die and the other one's out fucking by far the hottest chick I've seen, ever! Oh yeah, on top of that I'm missing Tales From The Fucking Crypt right now.

Dante: I can't feel anything!

Massacre Man: Well I can! And it's the worst fucking pain ever. It's like having a baby being delivered through a fucking papercut.

Dante: Seriously! I can't feel anything. I think I'm paralyzed!

Massacre Man: Good, I'm gonna use you as my human shield, because you're an asshole.

*The door opens and light shines in, Massacre Man puts his hand over top of his eyes while his they adjust to the sudden light, Newb stares down at him, then at Dante holding his sandwich*

Massacre Man: I hope you get bird flu on top of the AIDS I hope was in my blood.

*Massacre Man moves his hand from his eyes to see a shadow approaching Newb, he moves as quickly as possible and slips underneath the workbench, the shadow behind Newb is revealed to be a zombified version of Roderick soon to bite into Newb's shoulder, but he notices in enough time to push Rod down the stairs, Rod stands up and approaches Dante, biting his ear off, Dante screams as Rod takes more and more bites out of him Dante changes quicker, after his transformation Rod loses interest in eating him, instead he uses the hatchet like a handle and carries the zombie of Dante back up the stairs toward Newb, Newb then backs up and runs to the morgue's freezer and uses the shelves like ladders and climbs to the top, Rod stands at the bottom smashing Dante's head into the cabinet, Newb drops his sandwich onto the ground, his eyes widen, he reaches for it but can't get a hold of it, he hops to the ground to get the sandwich, he is then taken down and bitten until transforming, he stands again, the 3 zombies stand and start to make their way back to the basement, cut back to Massacre Man searching through the basement with the light provided by the open door, he is checking the possible weapons to use*

Massacre Man: Chainsaw... it's been done. Lawnmower... it's been done. Helicopter... it's been done.

*Massacre Man looks down at something off-screen*

Massacre Man: Perfect.

*The zombies enter the door and come to the spot under the table where Massacre Man was hiding*

Massacre Man: Hey, assholes.

*Massacre Man is sitting in a custom-made Wheelchair, consisting of two bike-wheels and a folding chair*

Massacre Man: Take this.

*Massacre Man rolls straight at the zombies and flips after lightly bumping into them*

Massacre Man: God damn it!

*Massacre Man rolls back underneath the table before the zombies stand up, they can't find him afterward other than Dante, who is staring right into his face but can't reach out any further to bite him*