[massacre man]

*The opening credits play with some mellow music on the soundtrack, Massacre Man driving the news van through an area more heavily wooded than the woods of the older installments, it is night time, the music stops, Massacre Man looks at the surroundings passing by him*

Massacre Man: I fucking hate the woods.

*Close-up on Massacre Man's face, zoom out, Illdojo is sitting next to him with a smile on his face*

Illdojo: You can say that again.

*Massacre Man slams on the brakes*

Massacre Man: WHAT THE FUCK!?

Illdojo: Just drive, man. We want to get out of here as much as you do.

Massacre Man: Who the fuck is we?

*Roderick Usher leans forward onto the seat*

Roderick Usher: That would be me.

*Massacre Man starts driving, he still looks as surprised as when his friends first appeared*

Massacre Man: So uh... what's up with you guys?

Illdojo: Not much man, I need to make a score though, I'm running out of weed.

Roderick: Yeah, not much is going on.

Massacre Man: No, I mean what the fuck is up with you guys, I watched Rod die and I'm pretty sure you were a goner, Illdojo.

Roderick: Well, throughout this experience I'd say that you've

*Roderick is interrupted by Illdojo*

Illdojo: You're fuckin' nuts, man.

Massacre Man: BULLSHIT!

Roderick: No, it's true. We're in your head, we're like Ginger in Ginger Snaps 2.

Illdojo: Fag. You could have said Bruce Willis in The Sixth Sense but you had to pick a girl. Ginger's fucking hot though.

Roderick: Especially after she turns into the wolf.

*Awkward silence*

Roderick: So uh... Massacre, how about these dark, creepy woods. You know in a horror movie you'd run out of gas about now.

*The van comes to a stop*

Massacre Man: ROD! What did I tell you about mentioning what happens in movies? Even when you're in my head you still manage to fuck me over! If you aren't already dead I would choke the shit out of you.

*Massacre Man gets out, slams the door and starts walking, Illdojo and Roderick Usher vanish, as Massacre man exits the screen a shape in the darkness can be heard growling, it's breath rising up like steam*