The Slaughterhouse Massacre
The movie starts in the early 90s with a horny couple deciding that a slaughterhouse is a GREAT place to get laid. They see where animals are killed and how they're killed to be made into dog food. After coming across a couple hanging animals ready to be cut up, the first thing the guy says is ''Eww gross, that's the last time I ever eat dog food.'' ...WHY WOULD YOU A FIRST TIME. No great loss to humanity when he gets a sickle in the back.
Present day and a couple of bland as shit characters decide to check the place out on the anniversary of the couple getting killed. The stupid teens are screaming at fucking nothing when they decide to go in. Literally there is NOTHING to be freaked out over yet, and they're just screaming.
Things aren't so bad when the killer finally shows up. He's smart mouthed white trash and quite entertaining. Wish he had more teens to kill. My question is; why when you make it OUT of the building harboring an undead murder, WOULD YOU GO BACK IN. Stupid fucking... And why did it take til morning to send a patrol car!
And what the hell is with the redundant techno music that sounds like it needs to be in a porno rather than here.
And you don't need to strip in order to escape a serial killer.
Stoners don't survive horror movies go back and try again.
The end credit music sounds like whale songs.
TLDR; lol no.
This movie was just awful.
|