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Old 12-10-2017, 10:38 AM
Onslow Onslow is offline
Hellraiser
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Augusta, Georgia
Posts: 36
Thanks for this. Very insightful feedback. I shared your comments with the gentlemen at Wages of Cine, who will hopefully incorporate some of these recommendations when the complete film is released.

I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters as you go through them.

Onslow

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sculpt View Post
Well again, you do an excellent job as Bobby in chapter 1. And I love that there's a different director/writer per chapter. You no doubt have a team that cares about each others' development.

I might suggest, in particular for chapter 1 (because it's the first impression chapter), to allow the audiotrack an edit.

There was only one line I had to re-listen to to understand, that was, "manure filled air" at the 2:11 mark. The audio can simply be re-recorded and added to the audiotrack(s).

I recommend not using three vocal track lines recorded father from the mic, as the extra natural reverb is a bit jolting from the rest of the audio. You hear those three spots at 3:14 "can make a mess", 3:42 "woman at church", and 4:02 "until he went to a better place". Can nab them from the other takes, or re-record the lines, whichever is easier.

Lastly, just remove the audio where Deb picks up the rope at 5:05, as it's just loud unpleasant fabric sound, and I don't think it adds anything. Oh, and cut the volume on the tool spill on the tray at 3:18, that hurt my ears.

As there are 639 views that can't be transferred to a new version upload, there's a decision to make there, but still a worthwhile edit for all future formats/presentations.
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