Quote:
Originally Posted by BloodintheBay
Thanks for watching it.. Yeah, i know the writing is crap.. haha, what happened was I am a comedy writer, I wrote for 4 years straight, then took 4 years off to learn to edit, then the last two I have been shooting and directing so, when i came down to doing this short film. I was concerned about directing and not writing.. I needed to go back to square one and make sure the script was good.. before trying to make a film, but you live and your learn.. I am trying to develop a feature length script based off Barnacle Bill, well, see how that goes, once again, it's not comedy.. Thanks for watching.. I do appreciate it.. and the honest criticism is always nice..
|
No problem - More than happy to. Really wish that I had the motivation, drive, equipment, etc. to put together a short film of my own - I know it's not an easy task, so I don't want to rip apart what is clearly a true effort.
Hey - If you're a comedy writer and it's what you're comfortable with, why not do a horror comedy? I mean, you could take the source material (Barnacle Bill) and turn it into a fun cheese-fest instead of something serious, you know? Then you can take the voice over and make it even MORE over the top and it'll be successful.
Also: Two REALLY nit-picky things... The opening shot, the guy sitting in the boat - for some reason I couldn't help but focus on his, uhm, crack. :o
And our first scene in the car, I'm not sure why our heroine goes from complaining about her small town to screaming outside the car - She goes from frustrated and angry to fun-loving. Just an odd transition. Why not just make her a stereotype backwoods slut? Again, going for the comedy aspect of it might be more fun. :)
Then again, I'm sure a lot of people give you "suggestions" - It's up to you in the end. Good luck with your next endeavors - Keep posting them here! I'd love to see where they go!.