Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvablePsycho
Yeah you're absolutely right. I'm always way too hard on myself because I'm a perfectionist.
And to be honest the reason I've been acting so irrational lately is because of the fact that we are moving and I don't handle any kind of change well. But I just need to do the best I can and not get too manic over it. Being back in Georgia for two weeks really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
|
I'm totally fine with moving because I have done it so much but doing it on my own for the first time like this has been a little nerve-wracking for me, especially since I didn't have my medicine until just last week. Before that I was having a lot of bad manic episodes and coming here and ranting a lot and I guess in a way, the things my ex-girlfriend did to me keeps playing itself over and over in my head which has given me a warped false sense of what women are really looking for in a guy and with my lack of social skills and never really being given the chance to build confidence or self-esteem without it being immediately destroyed, I feel like there is absolutely no hope for someone like me. I have always hated being alone and at one time it was my biggest fear. I have been abandoned or tossed away by so many people I have relied on like my mother and father or my ex-girlfriend Angela, who in the beginning everything was great with but over time we drifted apart but we're too stubborn and stupid to realize we weren't right for each other. In the end she cheated on me and got pregnant because someone told her I cheated on her when I really didn't. The whole situation really fucked me up and I could go into so many more reasons why it fuck me up rather than just the fact that she cheated on me, but I don't want to get anyone to excited. I mean we aren't the Onamia club after all even though some people think otherwise.