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-   -   Something I wrote before bed a few nights ago (https://www.horror.com/forum/showthread.php?t=55109)

milktoaste 05-18-2010 08:57 PM

Something I wrote before bed a few nights ago
 
I heard a bump in the night,
not unlike the old cliche,
but when you actually hear it,
when you actually hear that crisp clear sound of something when there is nothing there,
that sound is truly terrifying.
I quickly compiled a list of excuses,
I even invented 'real world' explanations,
and after some time I convinced myself I'd heard nothing at all.
Back under my comforter,
back into my comfortable position,
I found myself drifting happily back to sleep.
That is when I heard my name.

Bastet 05-18-2010 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by milktoaste (Post 861247)
I heard a bump in the night,
not unlike the old cliche,
but when you actually hear it,
when you actually hear that crisp clear sound of something when there is nothing there,
that sound is truly terrifying.
I quickly compiled a list of excuses,
I even invented 'real world' explanations,
and after some time I convinced myself I'd heard nothing at all.
Back under my comforter,
back into my comfortable position,
I found myself drifting happily back to sleep.
That is when I heard my name.

It sounds as if you are writing from the position of a small child. :cool:

milktoaste 05-19-2010 05:36 AM

The wife and I are fairly certain the house we live in is haunted. Noises, shadows, things sliding across the floor. Since taking some writing classes in college I always keep a pen and notepad near my bed and on that particular night, the night I jotted that down, I was overcome with paranoia. I could have sworn something was getting closer to me while I laid in bed. Slowly from a back room of the house it came, through the kitchen down the hall, through my bedroom door and finally it stood at the foot of my bed. From there it just watched me. I'm 30 years old, and unafraid of ghosts (I've never been bitten by one) but I'm pretty sure I 'heard' it coming through the house. So I wrote it down, told myself I was just hearing things, and went to sleep. (True story)

FreddyMyers 05-19-2010 07:41 AM

Thats some creepy stuff. Did stuff like that just start recently or has it been happening whole time.

Bastet 05-19-2010 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by milktoaste (Post 861287)
The wife and I are fairly certain the house we live in is haunted. Noises, shadows, things sliding across the floor. Since taking some writing classes in college I always keep a pen and notepad near my bed and on that particular night, the night I jotted that down, I was overcome with paranoia. I could have sworn something was getting closer to me while I laid in bed. Slowly from a back room of the house it came, through the kitchen down the hall, through my bedroom door and finally it stood at the foot of my bed. From there it just watched me. I'm 30 years old, and unafraid of ghosts (I've never been bitten by one) but I'm pretty sure I 'heard' it coming through the house. So I wrote it down, told myself I was just hearing things, and went to sleep. (True story)

I would love to live in a house like that!
Have you tried to look into the history of the place, or even tried asking the ghosts what they want?

milktoaste 05-19-2010 11:04 AM

We've lived here almost two years, and yes, weird stuff happens here all the time, the whole time we've been here too. The scariest part is my three year old son has recently begun to have 'conversations' with someone he calls the "man with the broken tongue". He won't go into his room alone anymore, my wife is so freaked out by that room that had to move both of the kids beds into our room (a real drag for me).

So get this! I park behind the house, but there are bees by the back door right now so I've been walking around to the front door. I walk past that room and I swear there was a man in there, in my kids room- just 15 minutes ago this happened. The window is high and the window and screen were closed, but I could clearly see the silhouette of someones shoulders and head. My wife has long hair, but who ever I saw had very short hair like a man and far too tall to be either of my one or three year sons.

My camera is currently broken, but still under warranty. And I'll see if I can find any history on the house worth sharing.

Doc Faustus 05-19-2010 06:27 PM

The third line could benefit from being shorter
"the crisp sound of something when there is nothing there" and "that sound is truly terrifying" could be something more specific" but otherwise, that's excellent. Nice job.

milktoaste 05-19-2010 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doc Faustus (Post 861376)
The third line could benefit from being shorter
"the crisp sound of something when there is nothing there" and "that sound is truly terrifying" could be something more specific" but otherwise, that's excellent. Nice job.

You know it's funny, I've wasted weeks trying to force a story that just wasn't working, and then along comes this little gem when I'm scared shitless of a random strange noise. I'm really glad you liked it.

Doc Faustus 05-20-2010 10:58 AM

That's how it happens. Half the stories I thought would be incredibly relevant turned out not to be and the ones I thought would be unpublishable were the most successful. I was ready to throw away the book that became the first three parts of Murderland in favor of a book about a kid whose bipolar dad hunted monsters and whose first girlfriend's abusive father turned out to be a werewolf. I even told my girlfriend:
"Murderland is boring. Werewolves are interesting."


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