Question

[pinkfloyd45769]

My mom and i were talking today about this and i decided to get some opinions.What do guys think of dating someone who has children?I'm not wanting to date anytime soon,just wondering.If any of you have any advice or thoughts i would like to hear them.Also,any of you w omen ever been through this sorta thing? I would like advice from both sides.Thanks!:)

[pinkfloyd45769]

Someone answer my damn question!!!!kidding!
It sparked an argument between me and my mom,so i'm trying to get some other opinions.

[Dante'sInferno]

I dated someone with kids.I don't really care if anyone has kids or not.It depends on the person.

[urgeok2]

My mom and i were talking today about this and i decided to get some opinions.What do guys think of dating someone who has children?I'm not wanting to date anytime soon,just wondering.If any of you have any advice or thoughts i would like to hear them.Also,any of you w omen ever been through this sorta thing? I would like advice from both sides.Thanks!:)


i dated several girls who had kids. If you're single late in life then it's a pretty normal thing. (i got married the 1st time at 33, the second time at 40.

i like kids, and kids like me so it was never a problem.
in fact the 1st girl i dated with a kid - the kid was one of the most important thing in my life... after her mom and i boke up it was really hard on me - because i guess i realized for the 1st time in my life i really wanted to be a father.

i do know some guys who dont like it. usually they are selfish immature pricks who dont like to wait to tear off a piece when the kids are in the way .. but what would anyone want with garbage like that anyway.

4 kids will be a bit tougher .. you'll have to prepare for that - i'm sure even guy who like kids may find that to be a bit overwhealming - it'll take a special kind of guy.

me myself - i dont think it would bother me that much - but it is a large financial responsibility.

(we have 1 kid - thats all we wanted)

[pinkfloyd45769]

I said i thought it would be impossible and i would be alone for the rest of my life.My mom said pretty much what you said.Thanks!

[Zero]

i am confident that you will not be alone the rest of your life!

[Lord RawK]

If you don't mind baggage and if your heart wants it, then go for it. Personally, for what I am looking for at this point, I would probably eliminate the option off my potentials. Thankfully at the moment there is no concern about this matter.

[Freak]

I've dated women with kids before and it doesn't bother me in the least bit.If I like the girl chances are I'll like her kids too.

[Despare]

Wouldn't be a factor for me to be honest.

[Dude Guadalupe]

Worked out pretty well for me:D

[Phalanx]

Lets just say...as long as sexually, things are not like "throwing a pickle down a greased wind tunnel" :D , and that the kids aren't involved in every SINGLE outing, every SINGLE occasion and likewise...etc...then yknow, a normal relationship wouldn't be unattainable to you.
I think the aforementioned points are a the main two things that a man , and respectively kid/s would weigh up.
Of course it goes without saying that there would have to be personality traits you like in eachother as well...

Oh, the whole "new daddy" thing, that'll throw a fella no matter how much he likes kids - Not saying this is you, but, it's what you see other guys shying away from.

As for the implications on the woman/family, well...as long as the ratio of time spent alone with kids, together, together with kids is on a realistic and reasonable keel, then all should go well.

As well as that (not saying this is the same in your case) but a LOT of women out of long term relationships I've known will tend to get quite lonely initially, making rushing into something with someone at a time you wouldn't otherwise a little more prone to happening...coming from the son of a mother who was pretty much rebounding one unsuccessful relationship off another throughout his entire childhood - simply because they hadn't learned to be alone, and work on themselves, well...it never really worked out for her, and I'd say the same for most.

Advise I'd give to all in these cases - Learn to be happy on your own, successful on your own, feel whole on your own, and move on from there...after that, who gives a fuck? - Don't let him run your child/ren, don't let your child/ren run him, and don't expect everyone to be best buddies, because when things like that are forced you may as well flush them from the get go.
Let everyone be themselves and adjust as comfortable/appropriate.

[Caouette]

I don't think I could do it too be honest. I couldn't stand the constant tie to their ex and so often children will kick out against the new person as they don't understand why they've replaced (in my case their mum) although in reality of course you don't replace them, that is how a child can feel.

I'm also not the biggest fan of children, I might consider having my own but anyone else's are a huge no no for me.

Sorry if I sound selfish, just thought I'd give you my honest opinion.

xxxx

[zwoti]

yes i would.

[Phalanx]

Ha, yeah, "I would" too.

[monalisa]

Lets just say...as long as sexually, things are not like "throwing a pickle down a greased wind tunnel" :D ...

LOL! I don't think I've ever heard it said quite that way, that is hilarious!

Speaking from a woman's perspective, but not as the woman with the kids, but as the woman that has dated guys with kids, as long as the ex isn't so still involved in the picture that you want to strangle someone, it can work. The kids have to understand the situation too, if they are horrible, it won't work. And don't ever say,"my kids always come first, you will be at best second". It pretty much is a given that the kids will come first, but to say that to a person that you are dating can really hurt. It makes you feel like you will never really matter to that person. It doesn't need to be said.

Hope that helps!

[pinkfloyd45769]

Thanks guys!Phalanx, i really want to say thanks to you.I think i need to work on myself for sure.I'm not looking to date and not sure when i'll be ready.I know it will be hard for me cause i'm the only one the kids have right now.I agree that going into something to fast is a bad idea.when i do decide to date i'm keeping my kids out of it for awhile,i think thats best.I will not be tied to my ex he is shit to me and will always be.Thanks again for giving me the advice that i needed!

[stubbornforgey]

I once dated a man who had children.
At 1st the kids tried to make me responsible for thier parents breakup...[considering they had been divorced months before i came into the picture]
Then they tried the my daddy crap...then they tried the 'if u dont get on with us then u dont get on with daddy'
And u know wat i did everytime they played them dumbass games..??
I would simply look at them and tell them ..grow the fuck up'
Told thier father to also grow the fuck up'

Now..despite thier dad and i not liking eachother for the past many years...{+me wishing the ground would open up and swallow his sorry ass]
his daughters and i are the very good friends and we still keep in contact.