here is some more of my loving..........

[scaryminda15]

poetry. lol . ok he is a poem about school.

i like going to school
but the kids are a drag
i like learning its cool
and i dont mean to brag
but i am pretty smart
by getting awards and honors
i feel like someone throwing me like a dart
i feel my energy getting taking away like those blood donors
sometimes i am happy
sometimes i am sad
people give me a look of disgust which makes me feel crappy
and they make fun of me which makes me mad
this poem was about my school
and i would like to know what you think
so was it cool or is this poetry alot of bull
should i keep going just give me a wink
if i shouldnt give me a look
of sadness and crazy
but i dont really care, but its time to go read a book
or just be completely lazy.



what do u think?!?!?!?!?

[lionels_mother]

i think that would have worked out better if you hadn't tried to make it rhyme

[The_Return]

Two tips:

- Dont focus so much on rhyme scheme
- Longer is rarely better

Here's a poem that I wrote that you might like:


Have You Ever...?

Have you ever sat down
With nothing to do, simply
An intent
to write

Have you ever stared
At the blank page, wondering
Why Bother?

[VampiricClown]

It's not bad. Not my taste in poetry though.

Here's one.....


Re-Awakened to the darkness
Black is all I see
Standing in the corner
A shadowy figure staring back at me

How did I get here
And what are my options
In this black abyss
I am at a loss of thoughts

Knowing my time is near
Heavy breathing is all I hear
Finding nothing to bring the light
I will not find myself in this darkness

^^^^ That I just wrote sitting here.

Here is a shorter one. Somtimes poem's should be short. It makes them better a lot of times.



In my heart, I feel a pain

Painted wrists, With dried Bloodstains

Hear my cries, And leave me alone

Your true innerself, You have shown



These are more of my style.

[The_Return]

Long poems can be good as well. Here is one of my all-time favourite poems. I think we all could learn from this, and I know I try to live this way as much as possible.


If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

[The_Return]

Yours arent bad VC...however I must say, not my taste.

[VampiricClown]

Originally posted by The_Return
Long poems can be good as well. Here is one of my all-time favourite poems. I think we all could learn from this, and I know I try to live this way as much as possible.


If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

I have one that I wrote that's 3 pages long. I don't feel like typing it though. lol

[VampiricClown]

Originally posted by The_Return
Yours arent bad VC...however I must say, not my taste.

lol. I like dark ones.

The painted wrists thing..... I picked that style up from one of my Ex's. No, I'm not a cutter......She was though.

[stubbornforgey]

heres a song i wrote

I saw shining star in his eyes
i felt a warming glow in his arms
but when we kissed..
i knew...I'd miss
The freind , I turned to for love..

The words he spoke had me in a trance
his warming touch took me to paradise
when we were through
i knew ..i'd lose..
the freind i turned to for love

I never meant for this to begin
em sorry now i let my heart win
the price i'd pay to turn back a day
and have him as a freind once again

I feel so out of place
out in the cold...
if only he were here for me to hold..
I'd let him know
I need him so ..
take me..how we were before
god .. now hes gone for sure ..
He's my freind...i lost for love ..
lost for loveeeeeeeeeeee ..ohhh no ...
lost for loveeeeee..

'pant pant...bow'

[scaryminda15]

ok this one is for my dear friend panada. nice poems guys. ok here wer go.......

you think life is a real fat stink
but listen to me and ill tell u what our friendship means to me
this is what i think
that u got to see
that i am here for u and many others of course
you can always make me smile when im down
when i need help or comfort your my source
so next time you got a big frown
u better come to me and i will help you
just give me a pm or email
our friendship will always be kept true.
and when you have a tale
ill listen and bring a smile to your face
because you always do it for me
and when your too fast in pace
just calm down and u will see
that i can help you when u hate the universe
which is often that you want the world and people to disappear
so when ur down just come to me and we will have a converse
and for this poem you are
my very best friend
so remember to smile
you my friend to the very end
so ill say smile just for a while.

ok smile for me and when u need me i am here for you.

:)

[scaryminda15]

i love school
i like playing pool
boys drool
girls rule
i rock
why do men smell like a smelly sock


ok what do u think?

[Posher778]

your rhyme scheme is horrible.


Do i sound like simon cowell?

[lionels_mother]

*shudders*

[h0rr0rdiva]

Those are great, the long 1's can be good at times when you need to express a certain feeling, and the short 1's are good when you need to just write.

I would put a poem I wrote, but I hate being judged.:(

[Posher778]

Originally posted by trippin_the_rif
Come on HD. Ignore the insignificant goof balls who ridicule. Some of us are actually pretty nice.:)

liar.

[h0rr0rdiva]

Ok here is a small piece of 1 I did a few years ago.

...as I gaze upon the beauty of his face,
my heart skips,
My trembling knees knock as we embrace,
my lips drawn together.
Our bodies formed one in the moonlight....

Thats all I'm Going to do sorry.

[Marroe]

Originally posted by stubbornforgey
heres a song i wrote

I saw shining star in his eyes
i felt a warming glow in his arms
but when we kissed..
i knew...I'd miss
The freind , I turned to for love..

The words he spoke had me in a trance
his warming touch took me to paradise
when we were through
i knew ..i'd lose..
the freind i turned to for love

I never meant for this to begin
em sorry now i let my heart win
the price i'd pay to turn back a day
and have him as a freind once again

I feel so out of place
out in the cold...
if only he were here for me to hold..
I'd let him know
I need him so ..
take me..how we were before
god .. now hes gone for sure ..
He's my freind...i lost for love ..
lost for loveeeeeeeeeeee ..ohhh no ...
lost for loveeeeee..

'pant pant...bow' I like that. Makes so much sense to me.

[scaryminda15]

dante what did u think of the poem?

[Dante'sInferno]

It was good.:)

[Angra]

Originally posted by Posher778
your rhyme scheme is horrible.


Do i sound like simon cowell?



No. You sound like Eminem, yo.

[h0rr0rdiva]

Originally posted by trippin_the_rif
That was pretty damn good. Not for a horror forum, but pretty damn good none the less.:)
Well thank you very much, I get embarassed easily, so that's why I didn't do more. But as I said it was a while Back, so I have none that are "Horrorific" yet. lol :D

[bloodrayne]

Dark Angel

Out of the deepest darkness,
A magnificent creature appeared,
He approached through swirling gray mist,
Awakening my curiosity and fear

I stood still, watching and waiting,
Pondering his malevolent intentions,
Intrigued and nervously anticipating,
The revelation of this dark apparition

Slowly and silently, he came to me,
As black clouds swiftly crossed the sky,
Soft echoes whispered, "Eternity",
All around me, and inside my mind

Confusion overwhelmed me,
Was this a nightmare or a dream?
I was unable to think clearly,
Should I sigh or should I scream?

Soon he was in front of me,
I was able to look into his eyes,
They were black, but not empty,
My reflection was inside

Slowly, he spread his huge, black wings,
Raising them high into the night sky,
In his chest, something red, and glowing,
Was the only part of him that seemed alive

In the darkness, its brilliance nearly made me blind,
I thought that it may have been blood or fire,
With a black twisted claw, he reached inside,
As if he knew, what my mind had inquired

He removed the object, without a word being spoken,
It was so bright that I could see, what I couldn't see before,
That this amazingly powerful being was broken,
A beautiful face, filled with pain, Impressive wings tattered and torn

Without ever speaking, he made me understand,
Everything suddenly became clear in my mind,
As he placed his still-beating heart in my hands,
I knew that this dark angel, was forever mine

[The STE]

Ok, here's some of MY loving...




THE REST OF THIS POST HAS BEEN DELETED DUE TO WRONG.
-THE INTERNET

[bloodrayne]

Bittersweet Contradiction

Heart so big, yet faith so small,
You can't love yourself at all

So delicate and fragile, yet impossible to break,
You overcome each setback, with strength you think you fake

You radiate a heavenly glow, as bright as the fires of hell,
Your burning brilliance makes me shiver, like winter's coldest spell

Deepest darkness lights up your soul,
What tears you apart, makes you whole

So much pleasure in your pain,
You hurt yourself just to stay sane

You find serenity in your strife,
Each death inside you, brings new life

You find comfort in cold rain,
You revel in your deep disdain

So much hatred for yourself,
Yet, you love like no one else

Wicked thoughts bound by sweet mercy,
You could kill me, but you can't hurt me

My heart whispers with conviction,
It's calling you, my bittersweet contradiction

[AUSTIN316426808]

Originally posted by Angra
No. You sound like Eminem, yo.


Does it worry anyone else that there's no link to that picture?

[scaryminda15]

yay you liked it dante! great poems you guys. i love simon cowell he speaks the truth.

[Angra]

Originally posted by scaryminda15
yay you liked it dante! great poems you guys. i love simon cowell he speaks the truth.



Amen, Halleluja!!

[scaryminda15]

lol angra you kill me, ( no put down the knife it was expression) lol :) The STE i am eager to know what you work that was so bad.
ok here is another loving poem......


i am sitting here thinking of the time
wondering if i have time to think or is it all work
i cant stop thinking of him for he broke my heart
is this my life?
i ask myself everyday wondering if it could be answered
who am i?
i ask myself sometimes so now i am pondering
i am waiting for these questions to be answered
i think of my past as i cut a apple with a knife
am i adopted?
this question is everyone thinks about at one time or another
but for me i dont know the answer
i feel like i dont belong, who am i?
is my real name of a different origin?
or is my family richer than mine at the moment of this peom?
all this questions but who will answer?
will i even know?
how am i surposed to know ?
and how are u surposed to know?

as i am sitting here thinking of the time
whe i am here pondering of the time i was loved
but people say that i am still loved
but how is this true i ask you?
do you know and if you dont who does?

i feel like a criminal
but i have done nothing wrong
will someone give me a sign or a symbol
i will wait for the answer unitl u here the funeral bells going ding dong ding dong
but maybe i am just making this up or maybe i am not
who can tell
but please dont
tell me a false answer for i can well
if i dont know but i will always think of the question that could have been answered
ok so i must be off
ill sit here till the bell rings and the cat has purred
so good bye

[Posher778]

Originally posted by Angra
No. You sound like Eminem, yo.

I love the fact that this was the first time EVER that you've spoken to me. hah. I didn't mean the poem was bad, just her rhyme scheme.

[Angra]

Originally posted by Posher778
I love the fact that this was the first time EVER that you've spoken to me. hah. I didn't mean the poem was bad, just her rhyme scheme.


EVER??

Dude, you registered less than 3 months ago!!!






:D

[Posher778]

Originally posted by Angra
EVER??

Dude, you registered less than 3 months ago!!!


Doesn't meaning REPLYING to me is illegal! hah, at least you didn't bash me in the noob lounge.





:D

errm^ that's weird.

[scaryminda15]

i am back to share another loving peom with u all....


You said you would never leave me
but dont you see
that you cant say the word never
i thought we would be together forever
but i see i was terribly wrong
the days seem so long
and the end of the year feels so slow
like your life is feeling like an eternity low
but you said that we would be together to the end of time
of course love is like a sour lime
but i must stop the pain
i walk in the rain
without an umbrella to cover me
i lost my sight of caring for free
someone just took my baby away from me
but how can i get my love back for eternity


ok what do you wonderful people think?

[Angra]

Originally posted by scaryminda15
i am back to share another loving peom with u all....


You said you would never leave me
but dont you see
that you cant say the word never
i thought we would be together forever
but i see i was terribly wrong
the days seem so long
and the end of the year feels so slow
like your life is feeling like an eternity low
but you said that we would be together to the end of time
of course love is like a sour lime
but i must stop the pain
i walk in the rain
without an umbrella to cover me
i lost my sight of caring for free
someone just took my baby away from me
but how can i get my love back for eternity


ok what do you wonderful people think?




Baby, baby, baby............. No comments. :cool:

[Angra]

Originally posted by Posher778
errm^ that's weird.



Don´t take it personal. I´m just not much of a talker.:)

[scaryminda15]

Angra was it bad or not. no comments is for scardy cats. loljk.

[Angra]

Originally posted by scaryminda15
Angra was it bad or not. no comments is for scardy cats. loljk.


It was better.

Your poems just seems more like song lyrics than poems to me.

But what the hell do I know about poems?:rolleyes:

[Elvis_Christ]

Sinister Brainwashing
Unbatised Mind
Killers in the passage
Delight in default.

Reset Regret

Time out

By the way no one's filled the hat yet

[scouse mac]

I always liked the one from Dead Poets Society called 'Ode to my Goldfish'

Oh, wet pet.

[Elvis_Christ]

Burntout Headbang
War with itself
Can you see
the
calling

?

Severed perception
Solo slam dance
turns the spike