My Poems

[josh]

Blood Bath

I watched her in the moonlight
As she bathed in the stream.
Her raven-hair flowed right
Past her perfect-formed breasts.

I carefully approached the beauty
So I could take in more of her body.
It was then that my eyes beheld the horror
That would haunt my dreams forever.

Her skin was as pale as the moonlight
And the water around her was crimson.
She was not bathing in the river of blood
But drinking to regain her evil might.

By Josh.

[NirvanaNole]

Is this from a movie? I have no idea what you mean. It seems to be separate thoughts thrown together instead of one coherent poem. Your spelling and grammar is much improved compared to your other posts. I'd suggest trying to write poems with rhyming two lines in a row or rhyming line 1 to 3 and 2 to 4, etc. It was pretty decent outside of that.

However, I do have a question, why is it posted in the new member forum? Shouldn't it be in the writing forum or somewhere else?

[Hannibelle]

wicked nice poem

[Aasiyan]

I like your poem. I't great.

[Hannibelle]

what exactly are you saying in it?

[nightbreed]

try reading some. your work will improve greatly.


try reading some ginsburg or alice walker.

[Hannibelle]

there good