Half-Ass'd Endings

[downside]

What sucks in movies that suck is when the suckiest part is all the way at the end of a sucky two hours. Let me paraphrase - you go through the movie and it is horrible at best. Only to find out that your demonic presense or serial stalker is actually vulnerable to <gasp>, the simplest and most commonly-available thing.

For example, if anyone saw the Mel Gibson flick "Signs", they possibly were pissed and annoyed to learn that the devlish aliens hellbent on Earth Domination were actually highly alleric to water. It's actually like acid to them. So much for higher intelligence. Hey aliens! If water kills you, try to stay away from the planet that is %75 composed of it and where it falls from the sky often.

Another example...the Ring. I've complained about this movie before, but in sport, I'll bring it up again. How do you stop a goulish figure that will kill you in seven days? Easy, break out your 1986 VCR and buy a $2 VHS tape. Simply make a back-up copy of this original tape, and hand it to one of your friends. Apparently, this goul isn't so much a tortured spirt, but a marketing genius.

And finally, one of my most hated cures...sunlight. Vampires, the aliens from "Pitch Black" and even the ghost from"Darkness Falls"...all are suseptible to the sun, which may conveniently go away for an abnormal amount of time... Maybe it's cloudy...maybe there is an eclipse. Beings that can die from something that is readily available day in and day out make me laugh. Holy shit people...run outside into a friggin field and just wait an hour. You'll be okay!

And so, this thread is more about other movies you've seen were the ending and means to the ending have made you want to vomit in digust. It's no longer our father's era. Monsters don't die with wooden stakes, silver bullets, chants you've had written on the back of your hand the whole time or air. At least, they shouldn't.

[MeVerseFreddy]

Ok, then what should they be killed by?

Magic is out, weapons are out, natural elements are out... we are running out of options here!

[moonsorrow]

i think im starting to get why your name is downside...

[Killer Clown#1]

Jigsaw had a crappy ass ending it was like they ran out of money so they just ended it right there. Curse of the Puppet Master also had the same kind of ending but the whole movie sucked any way.

[downside]

Despite popular belief, the name I've chosen has little to do with my opinions on horror flicks, allbeit a good assumption.
I am just as critical of everything that I partake in.

And as for suggestions as to what to kill them with...I dunno. Something extremely hard to find or rare. Something that hasn't existed in 1000s of years, or better yet, won't exist for another 10 years (leaving the hunted to walk the earth in wait). I'm not sure what should kill these creatures. I am just posting that I will be less afraid of creatures that can be taken down with cotton shirts or wind.

I never saw either Jigsaw or Curse of the Puppet Master, so I can't comment. But you know it's bad when the movie's credit line ends, so they have to resort to nothing.

[MeVerseFreddy]

Ok, I think I got it then. I can't quite think back 10,000 years, so I will go with 2,000, and apparently the second coming could happen 10 years from now (according to the National Enquirers prophets), so I would say the next weopn against evil will be.... Jesus! Yes, he will ascend from the heavens, or wherever, and take on the Vamp, wolves, and girls who crawl outta TVs! Geaux Jesus, it's your birthday..

[downside]

so I would say the next weopn against evil will be.... Jesus! Yes, he will ascend from the heavens, or wherever, and take on the Vamp, wolves, and girls who crawl outta TVs! Geaux Jesus, it's your birthday..

Ha, Jesus! I suppose that would be a good one. But what a strange twist that would be in the normal Nightmare on Elm Street movie. I wonder what Jesus dreams of, and if so, can Freddy get him there?

Good thought.

[crazy clown]

yea, jesus. jesus can be the third element thrown into the freddy v jason franchise.


ash is out jesus can come in

[SoUl SuRvIvOrS]

I think the idea of making the "Villian" a vulnerable villian is to almost leave the watchers at ease or a "closing" ,if you will, to the movie..But as we have found with Freddy we thinks he's done but he seems to always come back. Not sure but its a theory I have...all movies have to come to an end sometime or later. Most bad guys have a weakness...and Hollywood has it's famous ending..Happily Ever After.

[SoUl SuRvIvOrS]

Oh yea that would be an eye catcher..Jesus portrayed in a horror flick...the religious finatics would have a corrinary..hehehhe :P

[avenger00soul]

All I have to throw in here is that they did make an invicible creature and they did not have a Hollywood ending...the film was called Jeepers Creepers and everyone hated it. I fucking loved that movie for the above reasons but it seems a ton of horror fans loathe the movie.

[_Leatha_Face_]

does the sequel to this have anything to do with the 1st one??? because from the previews it doesnt

[MeVerseFreddy]

Yes Leatha, the second did have a lot to do with the first... mainly that it sucked just as much.

[avenger00soul]

Originally posted by SoUl SuRvIvOrS
Oh yea that would be an eye catcher..Jesus portrayed in a horror flick...the religious finatics would have a corrinary..hehehhe :P

Jesus was in a horror movie, it was called Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. It's a musical.

[moonsorrow]

Originally posted by avenger00soul
Jesus was in a horror movie, it was called Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. It's a musical.

i realy hope your pulling our legs

[avenger00soul]

Originally posted by moonsorrow
i realy hope your pulling our legs

No, I swear to Cthulu. Check into it.

[moonsorrow]

haha, you strike me as an honest fellaw avenger no need to...i sure would like to see it though just to get a laugh... even buffy has to be better then that

[allmykids]

oh no you did not just slam buffy!

[moonsorrow]

HAHAHA! sorry man, its a funny series and i actualy watch it sometimes, but i read alot about vampires and i just think its laughable how they are portraied.

[allmykids]

i read alot about vanpires to it's my fav subject.have you checked out stuff on elizabeth bathory? and what did you think of the subspeices movies ?

[moonsorrow]

i havent seen subspeices imi afraid, but i know who she was, altso known as the blood countess if i remember correctley.
a sick little lady, suposedley beautifull beyond words, she bathed in the blood of virgins to stay young and beautifull.
so lets hear your mind out a little, who was the first vampire?

[allmykids]

do you mean vlad drac or the first to play drac? the first to play drac i think was max schreck in the silent film nosferatu.

[moonsorrow]

no i mean from books, the way you see it, some people say the impaler was the first, some say cain, some say dracula...personaly (i dont realyu belive but...) i say cain, strange fellaw...sacrificed his brother to god because it was what he loved the most, then god put a mark on him so that he would live forever to repeat the same act each night

[allmykids]

most of what i read was from the vampire book its got 900 pages it's killer.

[moonsorrow]

deffinatley will, 900 pages though...hard reading, im trying to drag my way thrugh paradise lost now... 17th century poetry is kinda hard to devour

[allmykids]

not really it's an encyclopedia of the undead. every thing you want to know about vamps real or implied.broke up in sections.

[moonsorrow]

you cant learn all there is to know about vamps in just one book, read 12 books and youl find that none of them agree with eachother, they all agree at some points though.

[billbundix]

speaking of cthulhu, avenger, if you want stories without cheesy endings, anything by h.p. lovecraft just kicks ass. i mean i would rather be in a jason or freddy movie any day than wake up in one of those stories. no one walks away unscathed from them.

[avenger00soul]

Originally posted by billbundix
speaking of cthulhu, avenger, if you want stories without cheesy endings, anything by h.p. lovecraft just kicks ass. i mean i would rather be in a jason or freddy movie any day than wake up in one of those stories. no one walks away unscathed from them.

Yeah, I'm down with Lovecraft.

[cheebacheeba]

ok, one bad ending to an otherwise good film
JEEPERS CREEPERS, was really going somewhere, and then it's like they ran outta budget to finish it or something, that and the funny-guy lead character got eaten....however, there is a sequel, has anyone seen it? im not sure if its out yet actually, but the same guy that got killed at the end of the first is in it again, in a potential twist that might make the sequel (or, as I call it, the second half of the unfinished film) worth watching.

And Terminator 3, no huge fighting finale....it sucked.

[avenger00soul]

Originally posted by cheebacheeba
ok, one bad ending to an otherwise good film
JEEPERS CREEPERS, was really going somewhere, and then it's like they ran outta budget to finish it or something, that and the funny-guy lead character got eaten....however, there is a sequel, has anyone seen it? im not sure if its out yet actually, but the same guy that got killed at the end of the first is in it again, in a potential twist that might make the sequel (or, as I call it, the second half of the unfinished film) worth watching.

And Terminator 3, no huge fighting finale....it sucked.

Justin Long is only in Jeepers Creepers 2 in psychic flashbacks and warnings. It's no twist, they didn't bring his character back or anything. It's not as good as the first film.